


Speaking is Silver, Silence is Gold

by virtuous_contract



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy 7, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bathing/Washing, Bodily Fluids, Bodily Functions, Body Horror, Choking, Crack, Crying, Dehumanization, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dom/sub Play, Dreamlike, Dubious Consent, Enemas, Extremely Dubious Consent, Feeding, Force-Feeding, Forced Relationship, Frottage, Gags, Graphic Description, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Impact Play, M/M, Men Crying, Mind Games, Mind Manipulation, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Non-Consensual Touching, Objectification, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paralysis, Power Imbalance, Psychological Trauma, Puppet Cloud Strife, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Somnophilia, Sounding, Spanking, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII), Trauma, Verbal Humiliation, Yaoi, and I mean really bad, chemical bondage, dreamlike sex, forced paralysis, light blood play, mostly sefikura, puppet training
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:26:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 68,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25463191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virtuous_contract/pseuds/virtuous_contract
Summary: Cloud gets sent to Sephiroth's office for repeatedly getting into fights with his fellow infantry men. On a whim Sephiroth decides to discipline Cloud by 'puppet training'. After all, he'd been looking for a chance to snatch Zack's new little plaything away from him.This is just your self-indulgent non-con/dub-con puppet Cloud smutfest. Expect all smut and no plot. Or maybe it can be seen as a little slice-of-life 'training' fic.Kink index:1: assisted peeing2: feeding, humliation3: forced arousal, threats of violence/rape4: enema5: oral6: forced arousal, humiliation, various anal play7: punishment by non-con water sports, sort of10: dub-con threesome zack/seph/cloud11: dreamlike sex14: gag and sex on a desk15: breath play with bathtub16: mirror sex17-18: gag, dub-con somnophilia19: punishment by abandonment21: sounding23: brief role reversal in sexual dynamics26: Zack/Seph consensual spanking
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Sephiroth, Zack Fair/Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 271
Kudos: 417





	1. No, That's Not Where the Soap Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud is paralysed by Sephiroth and his 'puppet training' dicipline begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been betaed by the witty and perceptive [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith). 
> 
> Also, Cate and I have decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback. If it ruins the reading we'll take them down. They are NOT reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of us and possibly the rest of the world.

Cloud was sitting before the Silver General in his office. He’d gotten into a fight again. It was never his fault, but nonetheless he ended up in them because his fellow troopers just couldn’t stop bullying him about one thing or another. Apparently, it had happened one too many times, and here he was.

“Strife, was it?” Sephiroth’s voice was impersonal and smooth, like polished steel.

“Yes, sir!” Cloud sat with lowered eyes in the uncomfortable chair, feeling out of place.

“I believe you know Zack?” Sephiroth hid his glee. He’d been waiting for a chance to snag Zack’s toy away from him. Zack was becoming far too engrossed in the boy. Now when the boy was finally here in his office he could see why. The blond spikes framing his lightly freckled face, the innocence of his blue eyes, the small frame… he was exquisite. So sweet that Sephiroth just wanted to squeeze the very virtue out of him. And just like that, he made a snap decision. He opened the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a syringe.

“Strife, you’ve misbehaved, and I think you need a reminder of exactly what you are to Shinra, so I shall endeavour to remind you. Come here, please.” Sephiroth beckoned for Cloud to walk around the desk.

Cloud stood up in confusion, looking at the syringe. This was not what he had expected, but he didn’t dare ask any questions. He wanted so desperately to impress his childhood hero, and the shame of being called in to his office was already too much.

“Sit.”

“What do you mean, sir?” Cloud’s eyes widened with confusion. Surely Sephiroth didn’t mean…?

“In my lap, Strife. Now.” Sephiroth’s voice was like a bucket of ice pouring over Cloud.

Cloud couldn’t make himself do it. He stood still until Sephiroth yanked him down and shoved the syringe into his neck. A faint yelp escaped Cloud before he could feel his body slip away from him. It felt like his skin had disappeared and the contents of his body strangely just melted out into nothing. His eyes flicked to the man holding him who was smiling softly at him, but the smile was off somehow. It didn’t reach his eyes. Instead his eyes were glowing with something… something that made Cloud think that he would have lost his motor functions even without the drugs. With enough willpower to move a mountain, Cloud found he could manage to speak.

“What?” Cloud slurred and tears adorned the corners of his eyes.

“Don’t worry, cadet. I’ll take good care of you. I’ll clear your duties until you’ve learned your place.” Sephiroth sounded as if nothing was the matter in the world. Just another day at the office. 

Cloud was scooped up gently in arms that seemed impossibly strong and carried out of the office. He was carried through the Shinra tower and they were seen by many people, but they all seemed to make way for them, casting their eyes down. Pretending not to see. If Cloud could have felt his innards, he was sure they’d be turning.

He was carried to Sephiroth’s apartment that looked more like something out of a gothic fairytale than something to be found inside the tower. It was all heavy blue velvet and gold. It was obscenely large and lush, expensive looking, antique furniture and tapestries adorning the living room. Cloud could do nothing but gape in confusion, his brain felt like molasses and he was nowhere near keeping up with what was happening. Sephiroth carefully put Cloud down in a blue velvet armchair and started undressing him.

The sheer panic made the signals between Cloud’s brain and mouth push through and he shook his head and whispered “No” repeatedly.

Sephiroth just looked at him and smiled. When tears of humiliation started spilling down his cheeks, Sephiroth just chuckled and wiped them away. Cloud ended up naked, and he squeezed his eyes shut to avoid seeing Sephiroth’s thorough appraisal of him. Surely, he was just having his worst nightmare ever, shy and untouched before his childhood object of worship.

He was picked up again and didn’t open his eyes until cold porcelain made him aware of the boundaries of his body again. He was in a large bathtub, and when it was being filled his panic rose together with the water filling it up.

“Relax, Strife, you won’t come to harm.” Sephiroth murmured while undressing, stepping into the tub behind Cloud and eased him into his lap.

While words only escaped Cloud with difficulty the tears and sobs came easily and he poured his anxiety, frustration, the sheer horror of the situation into them.

“Puppets don’t cry, Strife. The sooner you learn, the sooner you’ll be cleared for returning to normal duties. And you are a puppet of Shinra, do you understand? You signed the contracts.” Sephiroth’s tone was sweet and calming, like a numbing poison.

Cloud could feel the general’s hands starting to glide over his body, touches made slippery by soap. At first he wanted to resist them, he hated the humiliation of them, and his sobbing worsened. To his surprise, Sephiroth stretched him out on top of his own body and made soft little cooing noises, hushing him, comforting him, right by his ear. When Sephiroth’s hands had made it to his hair, rubbing exquisitely scented shampoo into his head, he didn’t have it in himself to cry anymore. Even though the whole situation seemed too queer, too absurd, he couldn’t deny the comfort from the touch or Sephiroth’s low, velvety voice that wrapped around his brain like cotton.

“Hold your breath, Strife.” Sephiroth said before placing a firm hand on his sternum and slowly pushing him down under the surface of the water.

Cloud felt the panic well up again, being so helpless in someone else’s power. It was horrifying, and he had no choice but to ground himself at the very same hands that were pushing him down. It made him feel completely apathetic; to be forced to take consolation in the same hands that had taken his freedom from him. It was just too much, but he couldn’t do anything but hold his breath. He did so until his lungs made themselves present by burning from the lack of oxygen, lighting up in contrast to his otherwise lost and borderless body. When Sephiroth lifted him up again the relief shattered his disdain and a part of him wanted to thank Sephiroth for letting him breathe again. What the fuck? The sobs quickly returned, now tasting distinctly of bitter self-loathing.

“There there, be a good puppet. Don’t cry.” Sephiroth hushed softly and carefully brushed the wet, golden hair from Cloud’s face.

Sephiroth’s hands were back to gliding over Cloud’s body. They now rubbed soap with intent into all the private places Cloud had hoped to share with someone special one day, not too far off in the future. Not that Sephiroth wasn’t special. Not that Cloud hadn’t dreamed of sharing his body with Sephiroth, but never under such horrifying conditions, and somehow, that made it even worse. His arms were lifted and the sensitive skin of his armpits were thoroughly rubbed over, his navel too got explored, and when Sephiroth’s hands didn’t stop moving downwards, Cloud shook his head limply where it laid heavy on Sephiroth’s shoulder and a long, desperate groan of disapproval turned into weak, desperate, slurring, pleading noes. 

“A puppet must always be clean, prepared for its master, Strife. Don’t you agree?” Sephiroth purred while tugging at the skin of Cloud’s cock, rubbing the bar of soap between the soft folds of skin.

“Stop, please, I’ll be good, I swear. I’ll never… with the others.” Cloud managed to press the words through the alarms of his brain.

“I know you will, puppet.” Sephiroth chuckled softly and let the bar of soap glide in between the cheeks of Cloud’s pert little ass.

“No! You can’t! I haven’t…” Cloud was sobbing desperately when the meaning of ‘prepared’ started to sink in.

“Oh, I’ve found myself a little virgin puppet, haven’t I?” there was a tone of soaring delight in Sephiroth’s voice.

“Well, you better start reconciling me as your first, unless you’d like me to call Zack over to do the honours?” Sephiroth’s soft tone did nothing to match up with the cruelty of his words.

“Zack?” Cloud shrieked anxiously from the thought, but he found it difficult to keep his focus on the issue: How had Sephiroth known about his feelings for Zack? He desperately tried to hold on to it, but his focus petered out to a general sense of alarm.

“Hmm? Whose cock would you rather like to breach you first, puppet?” Sephiroth purred and pressed the bar of soap with a steady pressure to Cloud’s little clenched shut hole.

Cloud whimpered, cried, and pulled a stuttering breath in relief when the bar of soap was removed. However, the relief was short lived, because replacing it was the pad of Sephiroth’s finger, applying a pressure with clear intent.

“Relax, puppet. It’ll make it easier.” Sephiroth purred and pushed his finger inside, a little too quickly. Cloud’s cries were just too delicious and he couldn’t help but to want more of them.

Cloud could feel his inner muscles trying to resist the intrusion, making that part of his body light up as if it was the only part of him. Sephiroth was relentless though, and Cloud shrieked in pain, though if it was mental or physical, he couldn’t tell. When Sephiroth pushed further in, Cloud thought his body should have jolted with the roughness of the intrusion, but there was nothing of the sort. Just the hollow absence of anything but pain. He could hear his own pitiful crying, and when he felt Sephiroth’s erection rubbing against his thighs he wanted to disperse into the water and wash down the drain together with it.

“I don’t want this.” Cloud sobbed desperately.

“I know, my darling little puppet. That’s why you’re here; to learn to want it.” Sephiroth said while exploring every fold of Cloud’s insides, resisting the urge to assault the boy’s prostate. This was enough for now.

Sephiroth ran his nose against the smooth skin of Cloud’s neck and gently sucked at the tender patch behind Cloud’s ear before pulling his finger out of Cloud. The stopper was removed from the tub, and Sephiroth rinsed the soap from them with the shower head before Cloud was gently patted dry with a luxurious towel. Then he was wrapped in a lush, heavy silk robe that felt way too good as it brushed against Cloud’s numbed skin.

As Cloud was carried into the living room and set down onto the sofa, he caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. One of his arms swung limply at an awkward angle, the robe, having no closure, was hanging open, the candle-light silk lining offsetting his own even paler skin and the golden tones of his hair, and the red outer shell of the robe drew the eyes to him with lavish embroideries. Mortified, it brought his mind to antique erotic images of courtesans. He was left alone to simmer with this notion while Sephiroth went into the adjoining room. He returned himself dressed in a black silk velvet robe that was a stunning contrast to the silver cascade, and Cloud shut his eyes to all of it, hoping it would all go away.

Lacking a choice in the matter, Cloud was arranged to sit between Sephiroth’s widespread legs, leaning heavily against Sephiroth’s chest in the corner of the sofa. Sephiroth turned the TV on and lazily let his hands glide over Cloud’s beautifully exposed skin, forming large and small half-moon strokes.

Cloud felt torn as he sat. While he couldn’t strictly say it was uncomfortable, it was the absurdity of the situation and his complete lack of agency that kept him on edge. He felt like a shard of glass pressed into the back of his mind, reminding him to resist every time he let himself be taken over by the smooth, cool hands that caressed him. Now and then they wandered to his lower abdomen and pressed down gently. He didn’t pay it any mind at first, but as the hours crept by he felt pressure build. Everything that had happened that day had been so overwhelming, so he tried to focus as much as possible on the TV as it was the most normal thing that had happened all day, even if he was still paraplyzed, and in the arms of the Silver General. Each time Sephiroth’s hands seemingly absentmindedly pressed down, the shame of what had to come weighed more heavily on Cloud’s mind until it was all there was. The hands pressed down until Cloud couldn’t hold back the desperate moan that betrayed his need to relieve himself.

“Beg for assistance, Cloud, and I will give it to you.” Sephiroth murmured sweetly by his ear and kissed it.

Cloud drew a breath of air as if wanting to say something, but all that came was a despairing sob.

“You may wet yourself if you prefer, but punishment would follow.” Sephiroth sounded as tempting as the devil himself, as if he wanted Cloud to fail at begging.

Cloud shook his head but then his abdomen was pushed more firmly, brutally underlining Sephiroth’s point. He yelled more sharply then, than he knew he could, his bladder burning, threatening to burst.

“Please… please help me…” Cloud cried, sounding almost as helpless as he felt.

“Good. Good little puppet.” Sephiroth slid the robe off his shoulders, easily picked him up and took him to the toilet.

He was sat down on the seat and held up with a firm hand on his sternum.

“Well?” Sephiroth grinned, his eyes dark with the pleasure he took in mocking.

Cloud was absolutely mortified. He stared at Sephiroth in quiet disbelief and he could feel the tension in his body like an uncomfortable, soft, vibrating hum.

“Relieve yourself, or I will.” Sephiroth’s grin grew wider, his eyes growing even more intense.

Cloud shook his head and whispered, “I can’t.”

Sephiroth scoffed. “Ridiculous.”

He placed one hand on Cloud’s lower abdomen and started to apply a steadily increasing pressure on it, reveling in the way that Cloud’s eyes grew wider and wider, quite impressed by the young man’s ability to put up resistance to the inevitability of his body. He made a sharp movement then, a sudden pressure below Cloud’s navel that aimed for his spine, and a few drops could be heard as Cloud’s face contorted with pain.

“Gaia, you’re beautiful when you’re in pain, Strife.” Sephiroth said it without any hint of mockery, and he leaned his face closer while readministering the pressure on Cloud’s lower abdomen.

When Cloud’s lips parted to make his pain heard, Sephiroth silenced him with his own. Cloud’s mouth was invaded by a carefully exploring tongue that soon was etched into his memory as his first kiss, along with the brutal relief of piss finally leaving his body. This was nothing like he’d hoped for. It made him feel absolutely filthy, desecrated, violated, so much so that he couldn’t even be bothered to show it. He felt his face go just as lifeless as the rest of his body.

Sephiroth didn’t seem to mind though, licking his lips in earnest before pulling away from the kiss to wipe Cloud down. When he was sat on Sephiroth’s knee in front of the bathroom cabinet to have his teeth brushed, he almost felt his soul leave his body as the scene played out in front of the mirror. Was that really him? He had to close his eyes not to retch from the sight, and Sephiroth just hummed his approval.

He was carried to the bed where he was tucked in, naked. He laid in it alone for a while before Sephiroth came and joined him. Cloud couldn’t decide if the empty loneliness or the shame that came with being accompanied was worse. Thankfully, he then drifted into a dreamless sleep, trying to ignore the comfort of Sephiroth’s doting hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want more? Flatter this WHORE FOR COMMENTS by drowning me in kudos and praise plz.
> 
> This chapter has been betaed by the most trusted, funny, generous and amazing baby elder gay: [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith). You may also thank her in the comments section for upping the quality of my work so much it's nearly frightening. I am forever humbled by the time she puts into reading and editing (and for her general awesomeness too).
> 
> Cate and me have decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback. They are not reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of the rest of the world.


	2. Seph Makes Risotto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth cooks dinner for his sweet little puppet. Cloud is conflicted.
> 
> This chapter contains verbal abuse and choking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been lovingly betaed and named by the baby elder gay who in my mind sleeps on a mountain of gifs: [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).
> 
> Cate and I have decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback. If it ruins the reading we'll take them down. They are NOT reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of us and possibly the rest of the world.

The next morning, Cloud was woken up by Sephiroth’s hair tickling his face as he was lifted out of bed and put on the toilet again. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so light in someone’s arms before, not even as a child. In the bathroom, he was dosed with another syringe to his neck which made his skin tingle strangely from numbness. They didn’t speak and he was too foggy to reach the same level of resistance as the evening before. Instead, he put his efforts into trying to understand what was happening to him.

Sephiroth had a gentle but focused look as Cloud’s hair and teeth were brushed, and the lavish silk robe was threaded on his arms. This time a wide, black brocade belt was wrapped around his waist, wide enough to cover the lowest of his ribs, and tight enough to constrict his breath, tied in a large and neat bow at his front. The belt certainly made him aware of the borders of his body in a way that was unfamiliar. He found his sense of touch to be more alert than before. Perhaps it was some initial side-effect of the drugs that had worn off.

Cloud was arranged comfortably and attractively on a blue velvet daybed before he realised Sephiroth was preparing to leave. Was he going to be left alone? And for how long? His eyes went wide with fear when Sephiroth crouched down in front of him, stroked his cheek and gave him a gentle, lingering, tongueless kiss.

“I won’t be too long, my dear little puppet.” Sephiroth murmured longingly before he rushed off.

Cloud could do nothing but examine the items in the field of his vision and contemplate his own precarious situation. He spent a great deal of time berating himself for getting into fights with his fellow cadets. He vowed to never, ever let himself get into trouble like that again. There was time when fear crept into him. What if something was to happen to him? An emergency alarm? An emergency of his body? It was uncomfortable, and he had no way to keep time. The overall surrealness of the situation still made him too tense to doze off, so all he had was the thoughts that whirred in his head. Naturally, he also spent time contemplating his humiliation of being dressed up and posed like a doll in the likeness of a courtesan. With the inability to breathe deeply, he felt his helplessness and uselessness in yet another dimension.

…

The torturous monotony of Cloud’s day was broken when someone walked in through the door. He could hear someone walk in and out of the rooms of the apartment before Sephiroth appeared in Cloud’s field of vision. Not knowing if it had been Sephiroth for sure, Cloud couldn’t help but to feel a certain amount of relief to see the familiar face. Sephiroth was out of his uniform and in that black silk velvet robe with wide lapels that seemed to force Cloud’s eyes to Sephiroth’s well defined clavicles and the lines that hinted his chest as chiselled perfection. The sight made the breath in Cloud’s lungs burn. He found it almost irritating how incredibly attractive he found his General. Sephiroth crouched down in front of him with a warm, confident smile on his lips. He leaned in to lave his tongue over Cloud’s lips. Cloud stopped breathing with the sudden intimacy. It had felt like lightning had passed from Sephiroth into him, settling in a crackling coil somewhere in his lower abdomen.

“Did you miss me?” Sephiroth purred happily, nuzzling his cheek to Cloud’s but didn’t wait for an answer. “Are you thirsty?”

“Yeah.” Cloud found himself answering quicker than he intended to, disarmed by the second question.

Sephiroth walked off, his steps light and graceful, and returned with a large glass of water. Cloud stared in confusion as Sephiroth put the glass to his own mouth. Sephiroth leaned over Cloud with one knee on the daybed, gently tilted Cloud’s head back and then closed his lips over Cloud’s. When Sephiroth’s tongue pried Cloud’s mouth open, the trickling, cool water seemed like a gift from the gods. He hadn’t realized how parched and starving he really was. When Sephiroth pulled away, Cloud instinctively let up a small whine which made Sephiroth chuckle softly. The process was repeated several times until the glass was empty.

Cloud was dumbfounded. Though he felt degraded and ashamed, he also felt grateful. Sephiroth’s lips were so soft and gentle, and once he got used to them, he found he enjoyed them. The odd, slippery feel of the man’s tongue in his mouth, too. At first it had seemed so… awkward. Just something slimy and intrusive, an unwanted presence. But it moved with such gentle precision, finding all the little sensitive spots inside his mouth that he had no idea he had. When they were teased, warmth bloomed in his body in an unfamiliar way. It left him panting, feeling the wetness of his lips and dripping down his chin and the flow of air cooled it. He enjoyed Sephiroth’s touches so much he could feel his brain signal to his hands to reach out for Sephiroth, to touch him, but the signals couldn’t reach his muscles, and he found that degrading. It reminded him that his ability to act on his own volition had been stolen from him, and more importantly, that what he wanted was completely irrelevant.

“My, my, l didn’t expect you to enjoy yourself quite so much, so quickly,” Sephiroth chuckled and eased his hand inside the silk robe, running it up the smooth and nearly hairless legs until it found Cloud’s stirring cock that had attracted his attention. He scraped along Cloud’s shaft with his fingernails, his smile turning victorious when Cloud’s breath hitched in surprise. The crackling spiral in his stomach wound acutely tighter.

Cloud could feel tears of shame burning his eyes again. Were all of his days with Sephiroth going to be this bad? When were they going to stop? He didn’t understand what he was there for at all.

“Can I have more water, please?” Cloud asked weakly, hoping to distract Sephiroth from his growing erection. He found speaking came easier now than the evening before, and that brought him a little comfort.

“Certainly, puppet. Can I count on you for no nonsense about your bodily functions then?” Sephiroth wasn’t distracted. He gripped Cloud’s cock, forming a tight right between thumb and index finger and clamped down near the base.

Cloud cried out in surprise when the throbbing pain of the stifled blood flow joined that crackling desire that somehow replaced the muscular tension that just couldn’t happen in this paralyzed state. When Sephiroth tightened his grip, Cloud felt his first tears of the afternoon spilling and his voice trailing higher in pitch until it was just a painful, ragged exhale. Sephiroth shook his grip gently to coax out an answer.

“Yes!” Cloud hissed between gritted teeth and sobbed in relief when he was let go.

“Excellent. Good little pet.” Sephiroth leaned in and kissed the tears away from Cloud’s softly freckled face before bringing and feeding him more water. Sephiroth gave Cloud’s pretty erection a few generous strokes before he stood up and walked out of Cloud’s field of vision. Cloud whimpered in confusion as he was left alone, and oddly, he couldn’t decide if he was relieved or disappointed. The hours he’d been left alone really had been very long and tedious. It reminded him of being a child, when time seemed to drag out endlessly, every hour an eternity. They had undoubtedly left a foul aftertaste of desperation, if only for distraction from his unsettled thoughts that had a tendency to go round and round in anxious circles.

He was left alone for another unclear amount of time, but he could hear something that seemed like kitchen sounds, and eventually he noticed the scent of food being cooked. Something was frying, the comforting smell of melting butter and soft spices floated into the room and he could feel hunger suddenly clawing desperately in his stomach.

When Sephiroth came to pick him up from the daybed Cloud was lifted and made a little surprised noise. Cloud had often wondered how it would be to bury his face in that strong chest, what Sephiroth smelled like, what it would be like to be nestled safely in those powerful arms, just as he was now. He couldn’t help taking a deep breath, inhaling Sephiroth’s scent, which was cool and slightly flowery. Of course Sephiroth noticed, and chuckled softly, pulling Cloud a little closer and planting a kiss to the top of Cloud’s head.

Cloud was sat down in front of the table in a solid wood chair with armrests in what appeared to be a dining room, bathed in natural light from a wall that was entirely made from glass, giving a splendid view over Midgar. The table was covered with a spotless pressed linen tablecloth that had a soft, natural sheen to it. In front of him was a beautiful antique deep porcelain plate filled with expertly presented risotto.

Sephiroth arranged Cloud’s arms to keep him balanced and left the chair angled towards himself. Cloud’s robe was carefully adjusted into a pleasing configuration before Sephiroth stepped back and just watched him with a contented sigh. Sephiroth sat down in the seat next to him, where he’d set the table for himself too.

“You’re truly the most perfect one I’ve had,” Sephiroth murmured, seemingly more to himself than to Cloud.

“The perfect one?” Cloud repeated hesitantly. “The perfect what?”

“Sssh, good puppets don’t ask questions like that,” Sephiroth smiled and raised a spoonful of risotto from Cloud’s plate to his mouth.

Cloud’s mind raced at the indignity of being spoon-fed. He wanted both to resist and not. The food smelled lovely, and it looked delicious. Besides, how many had gotten to eat Sephiroth’s home cooked food? This was the thought that made him open his mouth. The fresh, gentle flavours exploded on his tongue and he had a hard time not humming. He did his best to keep his desperate hunger hidden, and his appreciation too. No matter how good the food tasted, he felt he shouldn’t appreciate anything under the circumstances he was in. When he looked up, Sephiroth was smiling at him. It seemed genuine with a hint of smugness. Cloud quickly looked away, unnerved that Sephiroth seemed to be reading him so easily.

Sephiroth continued to feed Cloud unhurriedly, taking bites of his own food too. The dinner passed quite uneventfully at first, and Cloud nearly settled into the thought that perhaps it wasn’t so bad after all.

“Wine?” Sephiroth asked in his melodic voice. Cloud gave a little nod. Just like earlier, Sephiroth put the elegant wine glass full of deep, red liquid to his mouth, leaned forward and put his lips to Cloud’s. Cloud’s brows furrowed deeply as he struggled to accept the liquid that now poured into him. The taste was another explosion to his senses, and the round, full taste of the wine seemed to warm him instantly. Sephiroth’s lips stayed between his even after the drink had been passed to him, gently nipping at his lips, tasting him.

“Stop, please stop,” Cloud pleaded, overwhelmed against Sephiroth’s lips.

“Hmm?” Sephiroth dragged his lips to Cloud’s cheek instead, leaving a trail of kisses. “Is the wine not to your liking?” he murmured. 

Cloud didn’t know how to answer. Obviously, the wine wasn’t the problem, but he didn’t dare to say it out loud. He sharply drew his breath when Sephiroth’s hands drifted to his knees, rubbing little lazy circles there, almost comforting. Sephiroth playfully slipped his fingers inside the flap of Cloud’s robe. It was such a perfect imitation of the flirtatious and alluring touches Cloud had seen on TV in all the romantic films and shows. He thought he would be the one giving them, but now he was on the receptive end, with Sephiroth’s gleaming emerald eyes holding his gaze in the warm evening sunlight. 

Despite the mockery of a date, Cloud supposed, looking into Sephiroth’s eyes made him wonder how anyone could possibly be so beautiful. He wished he could reach out and touch that pale skin that looked so matte and soft, like the surface of a peach. The hair looked so thick and healthy, and he longed to bury his hands in the silver tresses. A little nip to his neck brought him out of his thoughts, as well as reminding him of that queer sensation in his stomach.

“Am I not allowed to drink for myself?” Cloud whispered, knowing that his question might offend Sephiroth.

“No, my little puppet,” Sephiroth murmured softly against Cloud’s neck.

“Why?” Cloud could hear his disappointment, sadness and frustration being condensed into this one single syllable, and the question came out heavy as lead.

“You will learn humility here, Puppet. You will learn to appreciate what Shinra gives you, and to fear of it taken away. It is discipline.” Sephiroth kissed Cloud’s soft neck playfully before he flicked one of his hands to it and started squeezing. Cloud was filled with dread while he futilely struggled for breath. He hitched for air but Sephiroth would not let up. Tears of despair fell from his face and landed on Sephiroth’s hand. The pressure around his neck seeped into him, tingeing his blood with hopelessness. It infected his heart with despair and finally he stopped struggling and closed his eyes, ready to resign. Only then did Sephiroth let go.

The rest of the dinner was ingested without protests from Cloud. Silent tears diluted the flavours of the food for him. He didn’t ask for more wine, although he welcomed it when Sephiroth offered it, hoping to have enough to numb him from his waking nightmare. Swallowing felt uncomfortable. Sephiroth’s flirtatious touches returned, and they made Cloud feel decidedly desired, but not at all in a pleasant way. The touches only made him feel dirty. Even more so when he still felt himself react to them.


	3. No Thoughts Head Empty Mochi Cum Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seph takes Cloud to the daybed to rest after the meal.
> 
> This chapter contains dirty talk and an intriguing description of Sephiroth's penis and cum-flavour. Yep.
> 
> This is not a nice fic, it's all non-con and dub-con. It's like my brain has melted bc. there is literally NO DEEP THOUGHTS in this fic, which in itself could be considered a miracle, coming from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been lovingly betaed by my personal cat-video and meme-provider [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).
> 
> Cate and I have decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback. If it ruins the reading we'll take them down. They are NOT reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of us and possibly the rest of the world.

After dinner, Sephiroth carried Cloud to the daybed again, where he was sat down between Sephiroth’s legs, his back to Sephiroth’s chest again. Sephiroth made himself comfortable, reclining them both to lie halfway down. Sephiroth’s hands started wandering across Cloud’s body, on top of the silk robe and wide brocade belt that he was wearing. Cloud found himself utterly relieved that dinner was over, and though his mind regularly tried to fire commands to his muscles to get up, Sephiroth’s languid touches soon stole his attention. The soft silk fabric rubbed against his slightly numb skin, making him feel as if he was floating on clouds, except for the stiff, thick belt that was still restricting his breaths.

“Did you enjoy dinner, little pet?” Sephiroth murmured softly by Cloud’s ear before kissing the milky, soft skin of Cloud’s neck. It was still red from where he had choked him, and he hoped the red marks would turn purple in time.

Cloud expected the taste of bile from the appalling question, but his paralysed body gave no response. An indeterminable huff was all he could manage in response to it.

“That’s not an answer,” Sephiroth said in soft, feigned indignation that sent shivers down Cloud’s spine. He yanked at the collar of the silk robe Cloud was wearing and snuck his hand in to catch one of Cloud’s nipples in his hands. He pinched it, slowly exacting increasing pressure on it, until Cloud whimpered, groaned, breathed heavily and finally exhaled a silent scream. Gods, he was exquisite when he was in pain. He let go of Cloud’s nipple and rubbed it gently again to restore the blood flow, fully aware that this too was quite uncomfortable.

“Try again, pet. Did you like the food?” Sephiroth purred and playfully kissed Cloud’s jaw, where fresh tears had trailed down from those pretty blue eyes.

“Yes,” Cloud answered in a weak, hollow tone, feeling his head swim from the endorphins that had been released to protect him from the painful assault on his nipple.

“Did you like the wine?” Sephiroth’s hand snuck around Cloud’s chest and pulled the pretty blond contentedly against himself.

Cloud could only vaguely hum, but he tried his best to make his noise sound like a yes.

“Do you like me touching you?” Sephiroth’s voice turned to liquid honey as he let his hands slide down to Cloud’s thighs. He bunched the fabric of Cloud’s robe into his hands and pushed it down between Cloud’s inner thighs. Gently, teasingly, he made the fabric caress Cloud’s thighs and hips. He let go of the scrunched-up fabric and let it fall heavy and cool over Cloud’s skin. He gripped it again just at Cloud’s hips, pulled it taught and made it rub over Cloud’s half-hard erection.

“No,” Cloud whispered, afraid of what he would sound like if he’d say it out loud. He could almost picture the blood flow that rushed down to stiffen him under Sephiroth’s frustrating ministrations.

“But it feels good? I can see that it does, dear little puppet.” Sephiroth placed the pad of his index finger gently on where he guessed Cloud’s frenulum was underneath the fabric and rubbed a small circle. The action tore a beautiful, hopeless sigh from Cloud’s soft, slightly moistened lips. Sephiroth couldn’t wait to see them stretched around his cock. The thought made him swell, but he didn’t do anything to relieve it. He just let himself enjoy the pleasure of toying with the exquisite little cadet, for now. He had time for it.

“Tell me that it feels good, puppet,” Sephiroth said sweetly, but with a commanding edge to his words, “or I’ll do to your cock what I did to your pretty little nipple.” He placed the head of Cloud’s cock between index finger and thumb, still over the fabric, and pinched in warning.

“It feels good, please don’t hurt me anymore,” Cloud said with dread washing over him, tripping over the words. And it was true. The touches did feel good, but they didn’t make him feel good. The difference between the two was so fine he almost couldn’t make sense of it himself, but he was too tired to dwell on it. The skin of his throat felt hot where Sephiroth had strangled him, speaking hurt, swallowing hurt, but Sephiroth’s hands did not hurt him at the moment. They distracted him from the pain, and a part of him wanted to beg— no, scream— for more. For anything that could take his mind off of the bigger picture. 

He didn’t have to though, because Sephiroth was now opening the overlapping flaps of his robe to expose his legs, thighs and his full erection. Sephiroth arranged Cloud to angle his head downwards, to let him see how he brushed the pads of his fingers along the skin ever so softly.

“Look, I’m painting you in pleasure, pet,” he practically purred, and then pressed soft open-mouthed kisses to Cloud’s neck and shoulder.

Cloud couldn’t tear his eyes from what he saw. The golden lining of his robe looked just as soft and cool as it felt like, and it framed his pale skin like a golden halo, offsetting the curly patch of blond hair perfectly. The matte skin of Sephiroth’s hands was even paler, looking almost unearthly as they moved over him. Cloud’s cock was pink and swollen and drops of smeared pre-cum made his head glisten obscenely. It twitched, betraying his longing for the touch of those slender hands every time they drifted close. The sight made him absolutely disgusted with himself, with his own body for being so affected by Sephiroth’s sick toying with him. He felt weakness as never before. Not even when he’d been bullied as a child.

“I’ll be good to you if you’re good to me, cadet. Tell me when it feels good, and I may just give you exactly what you want.” Sephiroth replaced the tip of his index finger just above Cloud’s frenulum in a quiet promise. Cloud found the sight tantalizing and the thought of Sephiroth’s hand around his cock made it twitch. In the brief contact allowed to him, it felt like another bolt of lightning passed between them, and an involuntary, proper moan escaped him. The depraved sound almost scared him, it made him pull in a sharp breath and tears of humiliation spilled again.

Sephiroth chuckled softly and moved his index finger to dip down on the slit of Cloud’s cock instead, drawing out the pre-cum in glistening strings. Cloud gave a few dry sobs as his feelings raged a furious battle inside him.

“It feels good,” Cloud whispered, at last losing his strength to resist. To have the war hero, his childhood _hero_ handling his most intimate parts, throwing him between pleasure and cruelty was just too overwhelming. Too much to even take in properly.

“Good, puppet, good,” Sephiroth purred into Cloud’s ear as he started shifting them again. He hitched the hem of Cloud’s robe up entirely, as well as the hem of his own again. He gently dragged Cloud a little higher up and then reached down for his own swollen erection to place it between Cloud’s legs, high enough to graze the cool skin between Cloud’s balls and opening, and then made sure that Cloud’s head was at an angle to watch easily.

“Look, you’re making me feel good, too,” Sephiroth mumbled and let his lips touch Cloud’s neck as he spoke. As promised, he pressed down with his open palm on Cloud’s erection, which bucked up eagerly to meet it. 

A sweet little mewl escaped Cloud, staring at Sephiroth’s formidable erection. The skin was pale white, with an almost translucent quality. Faint traces of blue veins under the surface gave the skin almost green undertones. Not murky or sickly green, but fresh, like the first leaves bursting open in spring. The taut skin on the head had a soft, natural sheen, and the colour it was a soft, pale pink. It almost reminded Cloud of antique illustrations of plants. Perhaps that of a germinating seed. Or perhaps, it reminded him of some luxurious sex-toy. The more he learned of Sephiroth’s body, the more it seemed to be made for sex. Without knowing exactly why, his mouth began watering at the sight of it.

Sephiroth continued to press his open hand against Cloud’s cock, and he let his other hand brush suggestively across Cloud's lips. “Can you imagine my cock pressing inside you?”

Cloud weakly shook his head.

“Oh, but you will. It will breach your every entrance until you’re begging for me to fill you up.” He let his fingers dance on Cloud’s lips which parted in a soft, reluctant gasp, sliding them inside only to feel the moisture of the mucous membrane of Cloud’s enticing mouth. Gods how he longed to take it. He longed to see Cloud’s weeping face as it retched and gagged against his invasion of it, and he longed to hear Cloud’s rough voice after wrecking his throat from the inside instead of from the outside.

“I will fill you up until that’s the only time you’ll feel whole at all, my dear puppet.” He could feel Cloud’s protest forming in Cloud’s throat, and before any words could form, he’d shoved his fingers inside, not deeply, only enough to press Cloud’s tongue down.

“Sssh puppet. Imagine my cock inside your mouth. Imagine it having pleasured you so much that you hunger for it, the flavour of me. Imagine the flavour of my lust being the most delicious thing you’ve ever known.” Cloud moaned a weak complaint, but the tone changed when Sephiroth moved his hand to his own cock to squeeze some of his liquid desire out. It looked like an iridescent pearl, cloudy and white. Sephiroth scooped the drop up with the pad of his index finger, forcefully opened Cloud’s mouth wide and steady with one other hand and placed the drop on Cloud’s tongue. He rubbed it in, against the struggling, wet muscle before he removed his hand from Cloud’s mouth.

“See?” He purred and wiped his soiled hand on Cloud’s face.

Cloud whined and snapped his mouth shut, teeth clattering, as soon as he could. At first, he turned his head away from Sephiroth to find some respite, but only moments passed before he turned the face back to Sephiroth’s with a look of utter confusion.

“That’s what you taste like?” Cloud asked in a low, hoarse voice that conveyed his utter devastation. The flavour hadn’t been at all what he’d expected. Only once in his life had he tasted Wutaian traditional pastries. It had been at one of the large food-festivals in Midgar, when he’d just joined Shinra. He’d allowed himself some luxury with his second paycheck. They were made of pounded rice with different fillings. The flavours were all subtle, some were sweet, some were salty, and even if he’d eaten one after the other the gentle, subtle flavours mixed perfectly in his mouth. They had been deceptively addictive, and though they tasted nothing like anything he’d ever tried before, he often thought about them. The flavour of Sephiroth’s arousal now on his tongue was indescribable, but the closest thing that came to his mind were those pastries.

Sephiroth chuckled softly, and his expression settled into a knowing smile that reached his eyes. “Yes. Tell me, dear puppet, do I taste good?”

Cloud blinked slowly when he was given space enough to see Sephiroth properly. “Yes.” His reply came out bewildered and enamoured. He’d momentarily forgotten all about his worldly troubles. All he knew was that he was in the arms of his childhood hero, with his taste in his mouth, and all he wanted in that moment was more.

“Tell me, what was the flavour to you?” Sephiroth murmured and moved his face Closer to Cloud’s. Cloud for once didn’t shy away. Instead his pupils blew wider and wider, making his blue eyes go as dark as they could.

“Wutaian pastries,” Cloud whispered, with a sudden, shy expression on his face.

“Ah! That’s a new one!” Sephiroth leaned in and closed the final distance between them to kiss those pink, glistening lips. Cloud’s blushing face, his innocent, bewildered outlook and the roaring, conflicted feelings that constantly played on his face were too irresistible. For the first time, Cloud didn’t resist. Sephiroth had to really force himself to keep it short and chaste, not willing to overwhelm the inexperienced cadet again. For now, the small victory was enough. In fact, it was more than he’d expected. Barely 24 hours had passed since he’d first dosed Cloud. With some regret, he decided to take advantage of Cloud’s weakness to move the evening along.

“Would you like to take a bath with me?” Sephiroth’s invitation was deceptively straightforward.

“Yes.” Cloud winced inwardly at the hoarseness of his own voice, and the pain it caused him to speak. It reminded him instantly of the violence he’d been subjected to. Self-loathing settled over him like a weighted blanket when he wondered if even an hour had passed since then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No deep thoughts what so ever. Did you happen to have one*? Please share it with me!!!! 
> 
> *Shallow thoughts are equally appreciated.


	4. That Enema Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud gets undressed and then he gets an enema. That's the entire chapter good folks. Ok, they have a cute tender moment too. I just don't have it in me to keep Seph entirely cold and evil and poor Cloud, he's just too nice for this fictional world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been betaed by [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith). Thank you Cate <3
> 
> Oh, we have also decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback: if it ruins the reading we'll take them down. They are NOT reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of us and possibly the ridiculous state of the rest of the world.

Sephiroth’s arms wrapped around Cloud from the back again where they lay on the antique blue velvet daybed. Slowly, his hands started to undo the flat, decorative bow of the wide black brocade belt that kept Cloud’s red silk robe closed.

“It’s like you’re gift-wrapped for me, my little pet,” he murmured softly into Cloud’s ear. “With one as pretty as you I don’t think I could ever get tired of unwrapping you.”

Cloud felt his breaths struggling, getting ahead of himself in anticipation of soon being able to breathe deeply again, though he tried to tone it down when he noticed Sephiroth looking at him hungrily. As if it was a game of tease, Sephiroth’s movements slowed down even more, and he stuck his hands in the tight space under the belt and the robe, palming the skin there that had gone numb from the pressure of wearing the belt for a full day. It was eerie, how those touches seemed to light up his entire brain. Cloud understood it as a side-effect of the drugs, but now they seemed a little less severe than on the day before, at least.

The bow came undone, and Sephiroth gently held Cloud to get it out from underneath him. He sat down on his knees in front of the sofa to carefully lay Cloud comfortably back again so he could use both his hands to unwind the belt around Cloud. It made crisp rustling noises as it was collected in Sephiroth’s hands before being cast to the floor in a messy pile. Sephiroth’s eyes were nearly reverential as his hands pushed Cloud’s robe apart to expose his chest and stomach.

Cloud’s breaths were deep and greedy, and he closed his eyes to avoid Sephiroth’s raking gaze. He could feel Sephiroth gently massaging the blood back into the skin that had been under the belt, feeling oh-so-good that a small, relieved sigh spilled from him. Immediately his eyes flew open to check whether Sephiroth had noticed, and of course he had. Sephiroth was eyeing him so heavily and magnetically that he felt it like it called for his blood to rise to the surface of his skin. 

Sephiroth had been ruthless with him in most ways, but now he thought he saw a glimpse of genuine tenderness. Surely there was little else that could account for all the incessant little caresses and the countless little pecks he’d received? And even though it was faint, part of him wanted to give that tenderness back, perhaps try to nourish whatever it was that made Sephiroth treat him like that. His raging attraction to the man probably also spurred his feelings on.

Cloud took a breath and before he’d thought it over, he’d said, “It’s not fair that you get to touch me like this, and I don’t get to touch you back.” He lowered his eyes dejectedly.

“You’re right, pet. You’re not here to be treated fairly, but maybe, if you behave for me, I’ll reward you. Where would you touch me, if you could?” Sephiroth murmured in that smooth, low, honeyed voice that no magazine interview had been able to relay to Cloud. He found himself entirely mesmerised by it.

Cloud’s eyes flicked timidly up to Sephiroth as he weighed his options. He wanted to touch exactly everywhere, and not only with his hands, truth be told. The thought had his cock stirring again, and embarrassed by it, he let himself drown in those light green eyes that looked so unearthly with their vertical slits for pupils. The answer came to him easily then.

“Your face,” Cloud whispered, to save himself from hearing the need and childish admiration that he was sure would be in it if he’d given proper voice to the thought.

“Oh.” Sephiroth seemed mildly surprised. Cloud could only look with astonishment as Sephiroth picked up his hands and put them on the side of his own face. 

“Like this?” Sephiroth’s smile was soft but searing at the edges.

Cloud was stunned for a moment before whispering almost inaudibly, “Spread my fingers.”

Sephiroth held Cloud’s hands in place with his own, wedged his fingers in between Cloud’s and spread them open. Cloud gave a soft breath that bordered on a moan, and even though Sephiroth could see the silliness of it, he felt himself enticed by the endlessly grateful and awestruck expression on Cloud’s face. It drew him in. He leaned closer, brushing the tip of his nose along Cloud’s cheek. The idea that the gesture could be taken as asking for a kiss was appalling, and he quickly let it go without examining it further. Instead, he told himself that it was within the boundaries of his job to get Cloud to want him, and to do anything for him.

Cloud turned his face, slowly, uncertainly, looking exquisitely vulnerable all of the sudden. The sight of such open innocence stirred Sephiroth in unspeakable ways, and he found his lips colliding with Cloud’s, which immediately parted for him. Their tongues met, carefully exploring each other until Cloud was panting, breathless and flushed.

“You respond so beautifully, my little puppet.” Sephiroth surprised himself, finding his own voice to be almost warm. That was not quite right, so he removed Cloud’s hands from his face, kissed Cloud’s palms and put them on Cloud’s own body to divert both of their attentions. He made Cloud’s hands wander down, until they reached Cloud’s own now leaking erection. At this, Cloud’s eyes went wide again, his blissful expression shattered to something absolutely devastated instead.

“It’ll be easier if you just learn to enjoy yourself,” Sephiroth said, suddenly sounding grave, as if he knew too well what he spoke of. He scooped Cloud up from the daybed, leaving behind Cloud’s crumpled robe, and strode heavily to the bathroom.

He sat Cloud on his knee while he opened some drawers to remove what looked like a sealed container shaped like a syringe that was made to hold at least a litre. He started filling the sink, checking the temperature of the water carefully.

“What’s that?” Cloud croaked, hoping he was wrong.

“I know this will be hard for you, but it’s really the only way in your given state, puppet. Don’t worry, everything is sterile, including the sink. You won’t come to harm.” Sephiroth fired a small, encouraging smile at Cloud in the mirror while he removed the container from its wrapper, filled it with water from the sink, and then drained the water from the sink. 

“I told you yesterday you have to be clean for your master. What did you think that meant?”

Sephiroth let the filled container rest on the generous surface beside the set-in sink while he arranged for Cloud to sit over his thigh. He carefully bent Cloud forward, folding his arms on top of the cold, white marble and carefully laid Cloud’s head to rest on it.

“Please don’t do this,” Cloud’s breaths were picking up, indicating an onslaught of panic.

“Sssh, I’d rather avoid regulating your airways twice in one day. You didn’t seem to enjoy it much. Try to calm down. I’ll give you a minute.” Sephiroth used his most calming voice and ran his hands generously over Cloud’s back in soothing motions. He opened a drawer again to produce some lube which he proceeded to spread over Cloud’s opening which was firmly clenched shut. Cloud whimpered and whined in protest, his neck twitching. Sephiroth was sure Cloud would have put up quite the fight if he hadn’t been paralysed.

“You will get used to this, puppet. The faster you do so, the better it’ll be for you,” Sephiroth murmured and applied firm pressure to Cloud’s puckered little hole, happily waiting a little longer to see if Cloud could reign in his feelings. 

“Or would you rather be fucked dirty? We can do that if you’d like. Would you like to lick your own excrement off my fingers after I’ve stretched you open? Would you like it leaking out of you along with my semen?” Sephiroth’s tone went decidedly cold and threatening, leaving no room for his words to be interpreted as empty threats.

Another despondent whine came from Cloud before he stilled himself. He found Sephiroth’s case to be quite convincing, despite the horrendousness of it, so with a deep breath he did his best to relax.

“Good puppet. You’ll feel discomfort but it won’t be for too long. Bear with it and I might be inclined to reward you later.” Sephiroth wasn’t even sure of his own words, but they’d formed anyway. There was something about this blond that made him… something. He really wasn’t sure what. 

Refocusing on the task at hand, he set the nozzle of the container to Cloud’s opening and slowly pressed it inside. He found it impossible not to dream of those untouched, wet, welcoming insides. He longed to feel them around himself, around his fingers, his cock, and perhaps even his tongue. On that note, he started to empty out the water inside Cloud. He’d done this so many times, with so many others, so he knew what to expect. He’d had almost every possible outcome happen, but the first time with each new puppet was always difficult to predict. It wasn’t as if he enjoyed his bathroom being sprayed with faeces, but it was part of his job description, and he’d accepted it.

“Enough! It hurts! Please, no. It’s too fast,” Cloud voice ocellated between bitterness and hopelessness, but Sephiroth paid him no heed. He was terrified that he wouldn’t be able to hold it in. What if he was to defecate all over Sephiroth, the war hero. The mere idea made him mortified. At the same time more water was filling him, stretching his insides taut. His stomach cramped, he felt impossibly full, and his brain screamed at him that he needed to relieve himself.

“Ssh. It works best if you hold it for a while, otherwise we might have to do it all over again. Would you like that?” 

Cloud grimaced at the condescending words, but he did his best to tighten himself up. It was hard to reach the muscles with his paralysation. Though he didn’t wish to think about it, he found it quite remarkable that the paralysation agent could be so precise as to let him have any control over those muscles at all. He whimpered from the struggle of keeping his muscles in control, and soon he was sobbing and begging Sephiroth to put him on the toilet.

“Just a little bit more, sweet puppet. You’re doing well.” Sephiroth was back to his pleased, seductive self, making no effort to hide his enjoyment in Cloud’s pathetic pleas. Captivated by Cloud’s suffering, he let his hands stray to the cheeks of Cloud’s ass, gently pushing them together at the most desperate of Cloud’s pleas, and then teasingly pulling them apart if he seemed too calm and content.

After a handful of minutes Cloud was sobbing desperately, and at last he was squealing, “I can’t,” over and over again, all pride forgotten. A few drops of dirtied water had already leaked on Sephiroth’s thigh that Cloud was sitting on and Cloud felt it trickle down the inside of his thigh.

“If you manage another minute, I’ll let you relieve yourself,” Sephiroth murmured, stroking Cloud’s lower back soothingly. Entranced in Cloud’s enchanting struggle, his hands strayed to Cloud’s sides in an idle threat. He hummed his pleasure when Cloud’s whimpers and pleas turned terrified. Many of the ‘puppets’ he’d had before turned so angry and vengeful from being treated like this, they’d quite happily dirtied him and his bathroom. It was rather endearing that Cloud wanted to protect him from that. Few had shown as much resolve and desperation as Cloud did.

He realised a minute had passed. Very reluctantly he carefully lifted Cloud from under his arms and placed him on the toilet seat. A thin sheen of sweat covered Cloud’s face, but for some reason Cloud was still holding on, staring at him in an expression somewhere between frustration and a plea. He felt the heady rush of a challenge, and he sank to his knees in front of Cloud to run his hands on the top of Cloud’s thighs.

“What are you waiting for, my dearest puppet? You’re free to go.” Sephiroth feigned innocence. 

“No no no. Please leave!” Cloud shook his head lightly in utter desperation, tears of strain streaming down his face.

“Oh, I’d never want to miss the look of relief on your face. I live to see you like this.” 

Sephiroth slid his hands to Cloud’s rather trim waist and draped his upper body in Cloud’s lap, reaching forward until he could place light little kisses on Cloud’s stomach. 

Cloud tried his best to muffle his whining and his desperate need to relieve himself while he thought about Sephiroth’s words. ‘See you like this’ stuck out to him, and it made him feel seen, despite being treated so inhumanely, and that thought left him with a gnawing, disturbing feeling. Perhaps that was what broke his focus, because a stream of dirty water escaped him, hitting the water in the toilet bowl with substantial force. It made a strange, almost froshing sound that somehow matched up to the sense of relief that he felt, though it was still far from gone. He tried to bite back a sob and fought himself from leaking more.

“Come on puppet, you promised not to fuss about your bodily functions. I’m offering you a last chance for a reward instead of punishment.” Sephiroth opened his black velvet robe, slid it off and pushed it aside to protect it from the inevitable small drops of filth he knew were about to fly up into the air. “Be dirty now, and cleaned up in a minute,” he purred and laid his head back on Cloud’s lap where he lazily placed wet, open-mouthed kisses.

“I don’t understand! What are you doing?!” Cloud whimpered in a shivering voice.

“Trust Shinra to care for your needs, Cloud. All your needs. Do it now, before I run out of patience.” Sephiroth ran his hands up Cloud’s legs again, up to his stomach where he splayed his fingers and started to gently push. It got him what he wanted; to see Cloud’s face twist from pain, to shame, to slowly morph into relief… and then, into soft, lifeless resignation. Cloud’s feelings seemed so strong and deep it almost seemed like a piece of his soul had just splintered off and died. He found indescribable joy in watching these feelings play out on Cloud’s pretty face. He wondered if Cloud could hide a single emotion, ever, because watching his face was truly like watching a window into his soul. And every time he’d made Cloud resign, he felt like he’d acquired that little piece of soul that died. It was simply delicious, and deeply satisfying.

Moments passed before Cloud’s ragged breathing had calmed down, and when they had, the toilet closed and flushed. He was lifted into the bathtub, held up and showered down before Sephiroth started to wash him off with a softly floral-scented soap. He sighed with relief as the streams of water let him know that he was getting clean again. He’d thought his relief was total, but his head kept feeling lighter and lighter until it overwhelmed him, and then he started crying in helpless little snivels. Sephiroth’s hands felt so good against him, and he was held in such a calm and steady manner. It was remarkable how comfortable it was being moved around by Sephiroth. What intricate knowledge did this man have to be able to handle a limp body with such confidence and ease?

But his heart fell back into a pool of despondency when he felt Sephiroth’s erection, wet, slippery and soapy, glide against his body as he was held and washed. For a brief moment, Sephiroth slid a soapy finger inside him again, just as he had the day before, and suddenly Cloud’s head filled with one scenario after another of what was to come next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want more? Shower me with kudos and comments and keep me happy writing forever!
> 
> Oh, and my other fic "Soldiers and Monsters" just wrapped up last week. It has so much kinky sefikura if that's you thing. It accidentally developed plot, be ware... We'll see where this one will go...


	5. Everybody Wants Sephiroth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seph moves Cloud to the bedroom at the end of their first full day.
> 
> This chapter contains a bit of verbal negotiations, and then Seph introduced Cloud to the joys of fellatio, kind of. In a dub-con kind of way! xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been betaed by the most amazing, wonderful trusted partner in smut-writing: [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).
> 
> Cate and I have decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback. If it ruins the reading we'll take them down. They are NOT reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of us and possibly the rest of the world.

Sephiroth laid Cloud carefully down on the bed. Cloud had closed his eyes and seemed to be doing his best to not betray any of his feelings. Of course, that only came across as a challenge to Sephiroth, who climbed into bed behind Cloud, sat himself cross-legged on it and gently lifted Cloud’s head into his lap. He hadn’t bothered to clothe either of them after their shower. It was evening, and Cloud’s first full day with him had come to an end. They’d soon go to sleep anyway. 

All things considered, Cloud had done pretty well. He didn’t like it if his ‘puppets’ had too little resistance. It was more fun if they gave him something to quash.

“Well, you didn’t dirty my bathroom, but I wouldn’t call your conduct no-nonsense, either. Should I reward you or punish you, pet? What do you think?” Sephiroth murmured softly while gently drying off Cloud’s hair with a smaller towel.

“Am I allowed to speak now?” Cloud’s voice was bitter and detached, betraying his exhaustion.

“You may. I expect you to start using my honorifics again tomorrow though. I’ve been lenient with you up until now, but you shouldn’t forget your place.”

“You mean like ‘Demon of Wutai’? I’ll start now if you’d like, Demon.” Aware of it or not, a frown had already settled on Cloud’s face. 

Sephiroth chuckled softly, almost fondly. Knowing he was spoiling his little puppet a bit more than he deserved, he couldn’t resist trying to smooth that frown away with his thumbs. Instead, the frown only deepened.

“What are you doing?” Cloud whispered in confusion, still keeping his eyes closed.

“I’m spoiling you, puppet. Why don’t you try to enjoy it? You must be tired after… our little bathroom ordeal.” Cloud had expected Sephiroth’s voice to sound smug, but it was softer than that. Almost longing. What could the great Sephiroth almighty possibly be longing for?

“I’m not a puppet. Not a pet either. I’m a human being and my name is Cloud.”

“Hmm. May I offer you some advice then, human being named Cloud?” 

Cloud didn’t answer, but opened his eyes, displaying cautious curiosity.

“Find a way to go along with this. See it as a game, or lock your humanity away temporarily. It will get you through this training quicker, if you hate it so much. If you make me, I will fight you, and I will win.” Sephiroth’s thumbs moved to pet Cloud’s cheeks instead. 

He could feel the softness of the tiny golden hairs on Cloud’s cheeks, soft as down, or a perfectly ripe peach. Part of him hoped Cloud would heed his advice, part of him didn’t.

Fear flickered across Cloud's face, turning it listless again. Glistening tears were collecting in the corners of his eyes. “I don’t want my first time to be… bad.”

“Then you should admit to yourself that you want to be taken.” Cloud’s face flushed beautifully at his words, and he found himself smiling down at him. He moved his fingers to rub little circles on Cloud’s temples.

“What makes you think I’d want that?” Cloud tried to hold on to his indignant tone, but Sephiroth’s gentle touch made it difficult. It was too attuned to his body, and he felt bared under Sephiroth’s hands as well as his eyes where he lay naked in front of him.

“Oh, everybody wants that. Apparently, it’s a quality I’ve inherited from my mother. She used it to wipe out the entire Cetra race, or so I’ve been told.” Although Sephiroth’s tone was light and warm, Cloud thought he could pick up something melancholy in it.

“Oh…” Cloud didn’t know what to say, or what to think of that. He could feel the impulse of wanting to touch Sephiroth again, to comfort him. It must have reflected on his face, because Sephiroth’s gaze turned sharp enough to prickle his skin.

“So tell me, pet, don’t my hands feel good?” 

Cloud wondered if Sephiroth was merely trying out a new tactic: honesty, because again, he found a lack of smugness in Sephiroth’s voice. For better or for worse, it was working.

“They do,” Cloud found himself replying, almost absentmindedly. As soon as he’d said it, Sephiroth’s hands strayed into his scalp and started massaging it in the most exquisite way. It was impossible not to enjoy it. He seemed infuriatingly unhurried with it too, giving no indication of stopping. Cloud let his mind relax, finally matching up with the limpness of his body.

“May I ask you, Demon, why didn’t you leave me to finish on the toilet alone? What could you possibly enjoy in that?” Cloud asked quietly. Clearly his relaxed state was making him bold, bordering on reckless.

“Your vulnerability, of course, my little puppet,” Sephiroth purred, with so much affection it sent shivers down Cloud’s spine. 

“Oh! I can’t say that puts me entirely at ease, but I’m glad that you don’t have an actual thing for faecal matter!” Cloud blurted. 

Sephiroth’s eyes went wide and his hands stopped moving for a tense heartbeat before he burst out laughing. The thought was so absurd and Cloud’s brazenness so refreshing that he simply couldn’t help himself. Though he wasn’t about to tell Cloud that he’d use any means for his puppet training if necessary. This was just part of his job, and he’d had numerous ‘puppets’ in the past respond very well to various forms of excrement-play, either as punishment or reward. He didn’t have the luxury of picking and choosing others' kinks and preferences, unfortunately, so he’d come to accept it.

The sound of Sephiroth’s laughter was so affecting; Cloud thought it was the most marvellous sound he’d ever heard. It brightened the softly lit bedroom, bouncing off his skin and making it tingle, his chest cautiously swelling with pride with the knowledge that he’d enticed it. It also made him stir between his legs, but for once he was comfortable enough not to be so damned embarrassed by it.

“Perhaps there is a charm to talkative puppets after all,” Sephiroth murmured softly, his laughter still delightfully softening his words.

“You bet,” Cloud mumbled, closed his eyes contentedly and smiled. This talk had really helped him feel a little safer around Sephiroth. Not to the point that was ready to follow the man’s advice on submission blindly, though. However, even if it was an illusion, at least he felt he had some agency for the moment, and he relaxed into Sephiroth’s soothing touches on his face and head. 

Every touch was perfect, finding sore, tired muscles that he didn’t even know he had. He hadn’t been touched like this by anyone but his mother when he was a child, and even then, it had been a rather rare experience. This had a distinctly different flavour though. The stiffening of his cock told him that. He tried to put it out of his mind, but when he felt himself drip, he realised he wouldn’t be able to simply will his erection away. He opened his eyes to look at Sephiroth, almost as if asking for guidance. Sephiroth looked at him calmly, almost serenely, only a faint fire stirring in the depths of those unearthly eyes.

“Would you like to taste me?” Sephiroth asked in a voice that told Cloud he already knew the answer.

“Your mouth,” Cloud whispered.

Sephiroth hummed; a little amused, but not displeased, and bent down to place his lips between Cloud’s, who welcomed them. This time, he let Cloud take the lead, giving him time to explore kissing at his own pace. His inexperience was quite evident, but the little hums, the way the pace of his breathing changed, and almost undetectable little shivers told Sephiroth that he was quickly finding out what he liked, even if this upside down kiss was a little tricky to navigate.

Sephiroth drew back from the kiss slowly, finishing it with small little licks and nibbles to Cloud’s lips, leaving him shallowly panting in his lap. Cloud’s lips had swelled and turned a lovely shade of deeper pink, glistening invitingly. They were still slightly parted, and Cloud was looking up at him with wide, bright blue eyes that were beyond doubt, anticipating more. It awakened his instinct to tease. Gods, how he wanted the blond to beg for it. Cry for it. Scream for it. He let his thumb graze those lips, and his mind wander to all the pleasure that that pretty little mouth would bring him.

The gesture turned the air in the room thick, and Cloud looked at Sephiroth as if in a trance. Conflicted feelings were plain on his open face. Clearly he wanted more, but he’d turned shy again. Afraid, unprepared. Sephiroth slowly let his hands wander to Cloud’s neck, tickling the skin with the lightest touch, keeping careful track of Cloud’s reactions.

“Your skin is lovely. So pale and perfect.” Sephiroth murmured, trying out Cloud’s reactions to praise. Cloud’s pupils clearly dilated at his words, so he kept going.

“So soft under my hands, pet, and warm.” He let his fingers brush over Cloud’s chest, ever so softly over his nipples before slowly lowering the palms of his hands to make contact too. Cloud looked like he wanted to say something, but perhaps he couldn’t make his mind up about what, because he stayed quiet. He gaped awkwardly for a moment before he realised and shut his mouth abruptly again.

“Would you like to taste me again?”

A deeper blush flowered Cloud’s cheeks, spreading down his neck, tinging his chest as he gave a small nod. Sephiroth carefully lifted Cloud’s head off his lap, placed a pillow under it instead, and crawled around to sit across Cloud’s waist. He bent down, this time Cloud was more confident. Cloud’s tongue immediately sought his, stroking it greedily. He kept his own response restrained, letting Cloud work himself up to a frenzy. It worked beautifully. When Cloud was practically whimpering into the kiss, he withdrew from it. Cloud looked like he’d been given a halo, the way his own silver locks framed his face. It was befitting, Cloud’s face glowing with arousal.

“More?” Sephiroth purred and gave Cloud languid, lazy, teasing caresses that carefully avoided Cloud’s erection. He wanted to see how big that pool of pre-cum could become before Cloud broke.

Cloud nodded again, but this time Sephiroth didn’t bend down to kiss him. Instead he placed the pad of his index finger on Cloud’s lips. Cloud looked at him in confusion, but when Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow in a silent challenge, he was understood. Uncertainly, Cloud opened his mouth. Though Sephiroth certainly wanted to invade it, he only let his finger glide to the precipice of the warm, inviting mouth. Cloud filled his lungs with a stuttering breath before uncertainly extending the tip of his tongue to meet up with Sephiroth’s finger. A few kittenish licks followed, until a look of surprise overtook Cloud’s face.

“Do I taste good?” Sephiroth asked, now back to his smug, seductive self.

Cloud didn’t answer, but licked with broader strokes, clearly trying to draw the finger further into his mouth. Sephiroth held out for a little bit longer , before he obliged. Cloud moaned softly as he closed his mouth around the finger, trying to work out what to do with it, now that he wanted it. He found the taste, the texture, the intimacy of it almost overwhelming. It felt more invasive than kissing, for some strange reason, and the flavor was akin to the freshness of air after a heavy summer rain. He knew that his own skin tasted nothing like that.

“You’re doing well, puppet,” Sephiroth murmured and let Cloud have another finger. Cloud shot him a disapproving glance at the degrading denomination, but soon found himself distracted. Sephiroth placed Cloud’s arms to rest lazily on the bed above his head and eased himself higher up on Cloud’s chest.

“Comfortable, pet?”

Cloud nodded with slight apprehension, suddenly reminded of his severely limited agency, his eyes now glued to Sephiroth’s very engorged cock that was right in front of his face. Sephiroth took it in his own hand and with a pleasured sigh bent it down to graze Cloud’s cheek. 

Cloud looked terrified for a few seconds, but visibly relaxed when Sephiroth didn’t force any more drastic contact. Cloud could feel Sephiroth’s pearly secretion being rubbed off on his cheek, and in a fluid movement Sephiroth’s face was there, kissing it away, and then licking it into his lips. The vulgarity of the gesture deflated some of Cloud’s ease and confidence but simultaneously roused something deeper in him. Curiosity and need, for something... Not only the need for his release, but a need to please this utterly enchanting creature in front of him.

“Good puppet,” Sephiroth mumbled, pulling back when Cloud greedily gave entry to his mouth.

With another fluid movement, Sephiroth leaned back and pressed his cock playfully over the different surfaces of Cloud’s face. It was an utterly beautiful sight to see Cloud’s embarrassment mix with fear, thrill, and disgrace whilst he could unmistakably see a layer of anticipation under it all. Usually, he didn’t like to train virgins, but Cloud’s responses nearly changed his mind. 

He enjoyed the cool moisture of Cloud’s eyelids, the ever-so-soft bristle as he ran the head of his cock along Cloud’s eyebrows, letting the slit kiss Cloud’s jaw as he pressed the length repeatedly into the soft plains of Cloud’s cheeks. Cloud kept his eyes closed, but now and then his lashes fluttered with a new sensation, and he’d try to steal quick glances but always found Sephiroth unabashed stare and immediately yielded.

When Cloud felt Sephiroth’s cock against his lips he knew that his time to mentally prepare for what was inevitably going to happen to be over. Reluctantly he opened his eyes, only to find Sephiroth staring down at him with a chilling, predatory scrutiny that told him exactly what was expected of him. This time he couldn’t look away. 

He pursed his lips up against the smooth skin of Sephiroth’s erection. It felt as silky as it looked, but it was slightly warmer than expected. Sephiroth obliged his careful exploration and moved in a way that let his lips examine the different surfaces; the slightly thicker skin of the shaft, the ridge of the head, the head and the slit. He didn’t find it as disgusting or disturbing as he’d anticipated, but he was still very much on edge, fearing that Sephiroth would lose his patience at any moment.

Not willing to risk that, he opened his mouth just enough to let the tip of his tongue escape, and the careful exploration was repeated with his tongue. When his tongue glided along Sephiroth’s ridge, Sephiroth blinked slowly and took a deeper breath. Cloud felt a shiver of thrill at the knowledge that he could affect this incredible, beautiful, powerful creature, and he immediately took to the idea of giving more. He wanted to know what Sephiroth would look like in the throes of pleasure. Wanted to know if he could make Sephiroth whine, moan and come undone. Even if his agency was severely limited, he could probably still find out more about what set Sephiroth off. With that thought he let his tongue dart out further, parted his lips wider and invited Sephiroth into himself.

“Good puppet, watch your teeth,” Sephiroth purred softly, his eyes keping all their intensity as he tipped himself into Cloud’s mouth and let the slit of his cock press up against the roof of Cloud’s mouth. It felt heavenly, and it took considerable self-restraint to keep himself from savagely burying himself into the depths of Cloud’s throat. Because gods, the blonde was so pretty with his lips stretched around his cock, his eyes wide and attentive, giving a clear view of the struggle between taking pleasure and giving it.

Sephiroth reached back to give Cloud’s hardness a few rewarding strokes, causing him to moan quite desperately around him. He kept his invasions slow and shallow, because the enjoyment of watching emotions play on Cloud’s sweet face were much more arousing than any physical sensations could be. It was easy to see when Cloud had warmed to the idea of taking his cock in his mouth, and at that point he let himself glide deeper. He let his hand stroke Cloud’s face in a soothing manner before gliding in deep enough to block Cloud’s airways. Cloud immediately tensed up beautifully in alarm. His blinking made his eyelashes flutter softly, and his eyes immediately teared up ever so prettily. He pulled back immediately, not wanting to wreck Cloud with fear this time. For now, this was enough.

“Ssh puppet, don’t fight it. I won’t hurt you. Relax your throat.” He let himself glide back and forth slowly, just past the point of blocking Cloud’s airways, to allow Cloud to get a feel for it. It’d make things easier later if Cloud knew what to expect. It only took a minute or so for Cloud to figure out how to breathe in a rhythm that was comfortable, and relax back into it.

“You feel so good around me, pet. You’re doing so well.”

Cloud moaned softly when Sephiroth pulled out entirely. Sephiroth leaned back to kiss those pretty, swollen lips in soft, rewarding little nips. Cloud’s eyes followed him reverently now, in a mixture of reluctance and awe.

“Do I taste good, puppet?” Sephiroth teased between nips.

“Yes, Demon.” Cloud’s eyes turned dark in a flash and his lips curled up in a smirk.

“Tomorrow I’ll punish you for speaking to me like that, puppet,” Sephiroth’s caution was soft on the ears. He moved to softly nip and suck at the skin at Cloud’s neck.

“Yes, Demon,” Cloud repeated in a breathy tone, and then took a deep breath with his nose buried in silver strands. Who smelled this good? It was soft, sweet and warming, a little bit like jasmine. It has nothing of an artificial tang, ruling out perfume, unless it was the kind that cost thousands of gil a bottle, but somehow it just seemed too natural, which in itself seemed unnatural. Cloud had to let the thought go. It just seemed too complicated, because Sephiroth’s lips on his neck and his palms running over his chest were driving him insane. It felt as if he was crawling up the walls of his own body, which was as infuriating to the point of being grim.

“Puppet, I need to stretch you. Would you like my fingers or toys to do it?” Sephiroth whispered against Cloud’s ear.

“Stretch me?” Cloud echoed, hoping the words would make more sense if he did.

“Here, puppet.” Sephiroth shifted to Cloud’s side, draped one of Cloud’s legs over himself and let his hand glide down until he could brush a finger over Cloud’s opening. Cloud’s breath immediately hitched, and he shook his head softly. Sephiroth found it fascinating how quickly the blonde’s eyes could tear up.

“Now now, it’s a grace to let you choose, don’t waste it, or I’ll make the choice for you.” He let his fingers play over the opening, just to see Cloud’s indecision show more avidly on his face. Fear seeped into Cloud’s expression, and it seemed to drain all his energy in a few heartbeats.

“I don’t want it. Please let me sleep. Please,” Cloud turned his head and begged, glistening tears pouring over his cheeks. All the humiliation he’d already suffered during the day came crashing like a wave over him, and suddenly he felt incredibly tired.

“My decision it is then, puppet.” Sephiroth said, undeterred, and gave a punishing bite to Cloud’s lips with glittering eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want more? Please shower this li'l old kinky aunt with comments and kudos!
> 
> Also, is there something you'd like to see in particular within the setting of this fic? I'm totally open for prompts. It's not like it's going any particular places, just yet! ;)
> 
> Oh, this week I also finished a Sephiroth character portrait/study with some solo-smut called Artificial weave. Check it out if you're curious!


	6. The Stupid Dildo or Whatever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Cloud's birthday today, so of course the fandom should have an update today! 
> 
> <3 Happy birthday Cloud! For every perv who likes to see you gagged, bound, whipped and fucked I hope you have a thousand fans who've never even had that thought! We love you all the same! <3
> 
> This chapter concludes their little bedroom training session. Sephiroth finds one of Cloud's weaknesses. Chapter contains rimming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has almost been betaed. I'll update this text when we've put our final hands on it.
> 
> Cate and I have decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback. If it ruins the reading we'll take them down. They are NOT reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of us and possibly the rest of the world.

A soft cry escaped Cloud as Sephiroth bit down on his lips. The threat conveyed by the sharp nip was clear, and Cloud felt himself growing heavier on top of the soft, shiny white sheets. Sephiroth’s face filled his field of vision, his dark, green glowing eyes demanding his attention.

“Protest too much and I’ll gag you, puppet.” Sephiroth said softly, but his smile had a cruel edge to it. Then Sephiroth’s face disappeared as he started to kiss his way down his chest. Whatever illusion Cloud had of agency was painfully ripped away.

“Please don’t. I’ll… Let me take you in my mouth again, please! I don’t want to get stretched,” Cloud pleaded softly, but his words turned breathy with the soft, open-mouthed kisses on his nipples. 

No one but himself had ever touched them, and he was thoroughly distracted by the tingling sensations they were capable of causing. He felt nearly as if there were strings that were tied between them and his groin. If Sephiroth stimulated them a certain way, the strings would vibrate and cause his cock to buck pitifully, an unpleasant reminder of the discrepancy between the will of his body and the will of his mind.

“Such a sensitive little puppet,” Sephiroth murmured, wetting Cloud’s nipple with a broad lap of his tongue, taking the hardened little nub between his fingers and meeting Cloud’s eyes to bask in Cloud’s reluctant arousal. He almost felt sorry for Cloud for not having understood that his unwillingness was every bit as motivating as if he was willing. Perhaps even more so, he thought as Cloud tried to stifle his snivels.

He ran his hands up and down Cloud’s thighs in soothing caresses before carefully lifting the soft limbs, placing them slightly bent and apart. The softness of Cloud’s inner thighs was downright captivating. The area was completely hairless, and just at the top of them, the skin seemed almost translucent, showing a map of veins.

“I won’t make it painful, puppet. Would you like to know why?” Sephiroth mouthed against the shaft of Cloud’s leaking erection. Cloud’s moan had a shiver to it, but he didn’t respond any further. Though Sephiroth’s touches felt good, they were too intense, too overwhelming, and it made him impossibly tense, wishing he could curl into himself and push Sephiroth away, if only to wrap his head about the new sensations.

To coax a reply, Sephiroth tilted his head, placing his teeth to graze up and down Cloud’s length. “Would you, puppet?” he asked, a stern edge now present in his voice.

“Yes,” Cloud whined between uneven breaths.

“I think you’re the type who’s better controlled with pleasure than pain.”

“I’m not a ty-” Cloud tried to protest but was interrupted when Sephiroth’s fingers pressed over his opening yet again.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t control you in other ways though, puppet.” Sephiroth settled in comfortably between Cloud’s legs. He let his tongue flutter over Cloud’s frenulum, causing more of Cloud’s clear pre-cum to leak from him, adding to the puddle on Cloud’s stomach. It was almost large enough to start trickling its way to either of his sides. Again, he was reminded of Cloud’s beauty as he suffered, and it spurred him to tease the helpless blond even more.

A bit reluctantly, he scooped up the puddle of pre-cum with his fingers. Silly as it was, he would have liked to know what side it would have gone down if given more time, but truthfully, it was getting late. He smeared the clear, viscous liquid over Cloud’s opening, and was rewarded with soft little cries and glittering tears.

“I could force you, puppet. Break you. I could do it enough for the borders between pain and pleasure to disappear. Would you like that, puppet?” 

Cloud whined unhappily in reply. He could feel how fear and despair settled in, dissolving his will to resist again, just like earlier in the day. His chest panged painfully at Sephiroth’s cruel words. He’d seemed almost kind, just moments earlier. Why couldn’t he just have more time to get used to… the notion of being taken? The thought was absurd, even to him. How could one possibly get used to that if one was being forced?

Sephiroth started to massage the inside of Cloud’s legs and backside while applying a steady pressure to Cloud’s opening. Expertly, he encouraged blood to flow into Cloud’s private parts. He found the virgin cadet too tense to allow for painless intrusion. 

Normally, Sephiroth didn’t mind so much if his puppets feared him, but with this one… He didn’t want that. He told himself it was because Cloud seemed to go completely limp when overtaken with fear, and that was one of his least favourite situations. Limp in utter submission, of course, was his end goal, but if his puppets went limp with fear first, it always took such a long time fucking a practically lifeless body before the state of their mind changed. It made his work so tedious.

It was delightful how Cloud’s crying slowly turned from helpless to pleading under his hands. Cloud’s skin had changed from pale to pink, and his cock from pink to red, his opening, soft and lightly puffed. Everything about Cloud betrayed his staggering arousal.

“Such a good puppet, getting ready for me so dutifully,” Sephiroth mumbled while leaning back. Cloud shook his head, his face full of listless doubt, tears silently staining his cheeks.

He grabbed Cloud’s legs and carefully folded them up against his chest, attentive to any pulling muscles that might protest the position. To his absolute delight, he found Cloud’s body in excellent shape. His muscles were lean but strong and flexible, perfectly fitting for that small frame.

On an impulse, he leaned some of his weight into Cloud’s legs, pushing Cloud down into the mattress. He kissed that blushed, tear streaked face until a little of the doubt had melted at least. When he sat back to fully take in the view of Cloud’s exposed backside the only thing left on Cloud’s face was shame.

“I don’t understand you at all,” Sephiroth said and let his free hand glide along the back of Cloud’s thighs, lightly brushing over Cloud’s opening and up his other thigh. 

“You clearly enjoy your strange mating rituals, but you’re so caught up in denying it. Why?”

Cloud’s expression softened from doubt to confusion, and his brows knit softly. Sephiroth was looking at him with open, piercing eyes, and he felt ten times more naked than before. He tried to close his legs desperately, but of course his body couldn’t comply. 

He felt like his throbbing lower abdomen was his entire body, and everything around it was just immaterial in comparison. The only thing that made him aware of where his body begun and ended was Sephiroth’s touch, and perhaps that’s why it felt so comforting. The idea of being borderless was sickening. He felt Sephiroth’s finger glide to his opening again, pressing into the flesh around it.

“Stop,” Cloud managed before his breath caught in his throat.

“Why?”

Cloud searched for smugness and menace in Sephiroth’s face, but found none. A part of him wanted to roll his eyes at Sephiroth’s rapidly changing disposition, but Sephiroth’s suddenly open and earnest mood stopped him. He could feel the slowly increasing pressure of Sephiroth’s finger, and how it slowly glided towards the indent of his entrance while Sephiroth’s relentlessly held his gaze.

“It’s dirty! Please don’t!” Cloud pleaded, his face breaking out with shame and despair again.

“But you’re not. I just cleaned you, my dear little puppet,” Sephiroth said with a soft, almost sad smile. Cloud found those green eyes looking at him with something akin to pity. Could that really be right?

“I find your body very pleasing, pet. It’s warm, beautiful, soft and strong, all at once. Why wouldn’t I want to take pleasure from it?” With those words Sephiroth pushed himself past the rim of Cloud’s entrance, slowly, stopping just inside. He could feel Cloud’s muscles fluttering around the tip of his finger, just as Cloud’s breath and blond eyelashes were fluttering with the unfamiliar sensation.

“More importantly, why wouldn’t you want to take pleasure from your own body?”

Cloud gasped for air and reflectively closed his eyes when Sephiroth pushed further inside. It was true, it didn’t hurt but it felt weird, and even though he knew he’d just been cleaned out rather thoroughly, yet still he felt dirty. 

The thought of Sephiroth’s slim, beautiful hands, and his soft, almost white skin in contact with his dirtiest, most shameful place almost made him nauseous. He already felt too much, too full too fast. He wished he’d chosen to be stretched by a stupid dildo or whatever. The fact that this was Sephiroth’s choice didn’t enter his mind at all.

“How does it feel, puppet?” Sephiroth murmured softly.

“Disgusting,” Cloud mumbled, desperately wishing he could hide his face in his hands. Instead, he was left with his face exposed, and he could feel how it was twisting with intense discomfort.

“Oh?”

Cloud felt the impulse that would have stiffened his body if he hadn’t been paralyzed. Sephiroth’s mood shifted to something smug and superior. Sephiroth was pushing his legs harder against his chest and withdrew his finger from its shallow lodging. Instead, that hand came to close around his cock, reminding him of his throbbing arousal.

He could clearly feel Sephiroth’s hair tickle the backs of his thighs, and then he felt something impossibly soft and slick against his entrance.

“Gods no!” Cloud cried brokenly when he finally understood what Sephiroth was doing. The finger had been bad, but this was just… Not even in his thoughts did he find a way to describe the self-loathing that washed over him. All he could do was cry in frustration, but Sephiroth mercilessly continued to lick, kiss and suck around his entrance with disgusting, obscene wet noises. 

The hot wetness reminded him too much of the filthy water that had dripped out of him surely not more than an hour ago, but this of course was threatening to push inside instead of pouring out. Cloud could feel himself panicking again, his breaths shallow and heaving, his whole chest burning with anxiety. He wanted to be anywhere but here. Anything would be better than this. To have been taken with Sephiroth’s cock, even if it’d torn him would have been better than this. His breaths grew more uneven, and he choked on each one. Black spots were invading his view of the softly lit ceiling by the time Sephiroth stopped.

Cloud could feel his legs being lifted and gently lowered back to the mattress, which allowed him to breathe a little more easily now. In the next moment, Sephiroth’s body was laying on his, not too heavy, just comforting, and his face was being petted and kissed. He flinched with disgust when he felt Sephiroth’s breath wash over him, but when he breathed in, there was nothing disgusting about it.

“Oh pet, what a state you’re in,” Sephiroth mumbled sweetly and kissed Cloud’s lips with care and patience.

When Cloud’s face had softened, he withdrew from the kiss. “Kiss me back, puppet.” 

Cloud shook his head, still keeping his eyes closed, as if trying to shut out the world that had become too much for him.

Sephiroth shifted so that he could rub the bone of his hip into Cloud’s dribbling hardness. Then he whispered again, “Kiss me, puppet. Taste yourself,” and softly placed his mouth against Cloud’s. He didn’t force the kiss, but he did grind into Cloud’s erection hard enough to make Cloud gasp. He kept doing it until Cloud’s arousal overtook his shame, and the blond willingly reached up and latched hungrily on to his lips. 

Once he did, the kiss quickly turned heated. It was amazing, the intensity he’d managed to spark in the blond. Cloud’s kissing was almost claiming, even in his disadvantaged position. Sephiroth found himself wondering if the claim was being made on him or on Cloud’s own fears and insecurities. Ultimately, it didn’t matter, as long as he had Cloud where he wanted.

“You’re doing so well, puppet. Well done,” Sephiroth mumbled.

To his surprise, Cloud opened his eyes, and they were clear and defiant. Momentarily, Cloud seemed older, and he thought he saw a glimmer of an unknown potential for power in the depths of those pale blue eyes. He almost flinched away from it.

“Shut up, Demon,” Cloud retorted carelessly, with a hint of deeply bitter amusement.

“Oh, that’s curious, puppet. You’ll want to be careful with that,” Sephiroth said, trying to dampen his delight in Cloud’s feistiness a little. He pushed himself back to sit between Cloud’s spread open legs. He lifted them by the ankles, and folded Cloud’s legs to his chest again, a lot less carefully this time.

With little warning he made his tongue as hard as it would go, and pressed it inside Cloud, wanting to fuck that defiance right out of the blond. There was now no cry nor gasp from his sweet little puppet, but a low, raw moan that went straight to his own cock. By gods, he enjoyed his sweet and sour little cadet.

Eager now to fuck Cloud as open as he could with his tongue, he reached inside, pushing against the slick walls, following the folds of them up, as far as he could. It was beyond fascinating how quickly the character of Cloud’s sounds had changed from panic to debauched, wanton greed. Though he wasn’t sure exactly what the switch had been, it had clearly flipped.

“Still feeling dirty?” Sephiroth asked, trying to figure out exactly what had changed.

“Yes, Demon,” Cloud’s voice soared with a restrained moan. 

Sephiroth hummed softly and sat back up. He took his own swollen erection in his hand and pressed it into the pert mounds of Cloud’s backside. He rubbed it greedily up and down Cloud’s crack, enjoying the slickness his own saliva had left. He appreciated the shine on his own cock, and the clenching of Cloud’s entrance under his touch. Cloud’s breath turned stuttering with fear again.

“Ssh, I won’t today, puppet. Let me just enjoy imagining it. Your hole leaking with semen, pink and puckered, gaping open, begging for more. You’ll be so pretty. Perhaps the prettiest yet.” Sephiroth murmured and started stroking himself intently, still grazing the head of his cock over Cloud’s milky skin.

A soft whine escaped Cloud at Sephiroth’s words, and he couldn’t decide if he was excited, relieved, or disappointed. A part of him wanted to be taken, wanted it over with. A part of him certainly didn’t. Faint shudders moved through him every time Sephiroth’s cock slid over his entrance, but in his paralyzed state they felt like little earthquakes. 

He couldn’t see Sephiroth’s face as he released, he could only hear a deep breath taken, and then feel warm spurts of seed painting his backside on a long exhale. He found himself surprised at his lack of disgust. All he could think of was what Sephiroth had looked like. It had been a lot more quiet than he thought it’d be. Somehow it suited Sephiroth, he supposed, but it left him with feeling unfulfilled.

“Gorgeous, pet. You’re so gorgeous, all exposed and sullied for me, and you’re not even crying.” Laughter was certainly skirting around Sephiroth’s words, but Cloud couldn’t tell if he was being mocked or not. He felt his legs lowered to the mattress, just carefully enough to soothe the stiffness in them. Sephiroth’s attentiveness was uncanny in all its preciseness.

Then the hand around Cloud’s cock started pumping him, and on his next breath he could feel Sephiroth’s finger entering him again. It felt so slippery now. He could feel how Sephiroth’s palm was spreading around the wet, rapidly cooling semen on him too. It didn’t feel good or bad, just unfamiliar and mildly disturbing. 

Sephiroth fingered him slowly at first, and only increased his pace incrementally, always in time with the hand that stroked his cock. It took a few minutes to get used to the sensation. Then Sephiroth pressed something inside him that made him lose his breath, his cohesion, his grip on his body and everything else.

“Oh, puppet,” Sephiroth said, sounding quite adoring, “You have no idea, do you?” He pulled his finger out, delighted at the little confused cry it enticed from Cloud, and then pressed in with another finger, directly aiming for that same spot.

“I can feel how swollen you are inside. You’ll come so beautifully, I promise,” he murmured and began a slow assault on Cloud’s engorged gland.

He slowly worked Cloud right up to the edge of orgasm, and then left Cloud panting. He enjoyed every shiver, every cry that expressed Cloud’s exquisite mixture of fear and anticipation. He wondered how Cloud would move under him if he hadn’t been paralyzed. Would Cloud arch his back from the mattress, or push down on his hand? Perhaps he was someone who writhed, or did all of it? The only thing he couldn’t picture was Cloud lying as still as he was now. His faint moans told him at least that much.

“What are you doing?!” Cloud asked, sounding gutted from his ruined orgasm.

“Teaching you, dear puppet,” Sephiroth purred and firmed his grip around Cloud’s cock while stroking his thumb over the head of it.

“What’s that, Demon?” Cloud spat in frustration.

Sephiroth chuckled and started building Cloud up again, slowly in time with his words. “Patience, obedience, consequence…”

Cloud tried to hold on to his frustration, but he could feel pressure building inside him again, like never before. And it was all encompassing. It felt absolutely nothing like when he’d touched himself. It was as if there was an itch inside him, and every time Sephiroth soothed it with his touch, it returned with vengeance. It was maddening, and he quickly realised Sephiroth had been right. He’d beg for it. Easily.

He bit his lip, tried to stifle his sounds, tried to breathe through it, but ultimately Sephiroth had him entirely under control. That was as terrifying as it was humiliating.

“Tell me what I want to hear, puppet.”

“Demon of Wut-”

“Wrong.” Sephiroth’s voice was calm and detached, and he stilled his hands, deflating another orgasm. Cloud laid staring at the ceiling, his frustration only evident in his ragged breaths.

“Try again, pet.” He bent down and kissed Cloud’s glistening frenulum before he started dragging Cloud to the edge of orgasm again. It was so easy to hold Cloud there, just on the brink. It was hardly a chore watching Cloud battle himself on whether to beg or not. Very carefully, he pressed a third finger to Cloud’s opening, which earned him a particularly desperate cry. He’d planned to stop at two, but Cloud was holding out longer than he’d thought, so what was the harm? 

He loosened his grip on Cloud, and pushed harder into Cloud’s prostate, practically feeling the fullness of it. Perhaps he’d try milking it at some point.

“Stop,” Cloud whimpered helplessly.

“Say that again and I will, puppet. It doesn’t matter to me if you want to wait for this to go away without aid.” Sephiroth’s voice was poisonous now. 

Cloud had never been so aroused in his life, and definitely not for as long as he had been that night. It was bordering on painful, and judging from the way he literally wanted to scream when Sephiroth’s hands stilled, he couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to just be left in that state. He frowned at how his worries certainly had changed direction during the course of the evening. With that, he knew that Sephiroth had already reached his goal.

“Please help me,” Cloud whispered.

“Hmm? Almost, puppet.”

“Sephiroth.” Sephiroth couldn’t help but to smile at being addressed so intimately from the helpless pet who was still trying to push boundaries.

“No.”

“General, please,” Cloud whispered, now almost reverently. Though Sephiroth normally agreed to being addressed by his title, he found that he didn’t like it this time. He kept Cloud on edge, almost absentmindedly while trying to decide if he should adhere to his formal title or not.

“Please, sir, let me… come,” Cloud tried to assert himself, by speaking properly, but instead his voice came out hoarse and broken.

Out of Cloud’s sight, a frown flicked on Sephiroth’s face. It was the only title left for Cloud to try except for ‘master’, which he’d always found overly dramatic. But ‘sir’ still didn’t give him the same satisfaction that he was used to. This was his problem though, not Cloud’s, so he focused his attention on the body that was so ready to break apart for him.

And break apart it did. He focused his three fingers on Cloud’s prostate just hard enough to cosy up to that line that bordered pleasure and pain until Cloud was openly sobbing. He breathed in Cloud’s frustration, taking a moment to enjoy having full control over and corrupting such an inexperienced little creature. It was such a joy to write oninto that pretty, blank sheet. He knew he had a cruel side, but just like anyone else, he wasn’t one-dimensional. He’d greatly enjoy giving Cloud pleasure, too. 

So he did. With three proper strokes Cloud erupted with a broken cry, shooting forceful white streams of seed over his own stomach and chest. He continued stroking Cloud through the entire orgasm, drawing it out, pressing into Cloud’s bundle of nerves with every contraction of his body, amplifying the sensations. Though the animation of Cloud’s body was subtle at best, it was still a beautiful sight in every way. 

When he finally eased his fingers out and let go of Cloud’s softening cock, Cloud’s face softened and relaxed, but the tears never stopped streaming. Perhaps he’d overdone it for a first time, he thought, sighing softly. He laid himself down, pressing up to Cloud’s side and gathering his precious puppet into his arms. He nestled one hand into the messy golden spikes and let the other one drift in circles on Cloud’s back.

“You did so well, pet. You were perfect.” Sephiroth murmured softly into golden spikes. The snivels increased before they stilled, and he just let them. It was hardly the first time he’d seen someone overwhelmed. He’d learned it was best to just ride it out. Though he had to admit, he hadn’t been quite so keen on comforting all of his little puppets. Cloud certainly roused something special in him.

Some time after the snivels stopped, he heard Cloud asking meekly, “I did well? You aren’t disappointed? Or disgusted?”

Sephiroth had to stifle a surprised laugh. “No pet. Not at all.” He leaned back to wipe sticky strands of blond hair from Cloud’s face. How could anyone so open and gorgeous ever disappoint anyone? He found it a strange thing to worry about. 

“But tomorrow you have to address me properly, understood?” Sephiroth murmured against Cloud’s cheek before kissing it. 

He was definitely caught off guard when Cloud quickly turned his head to capture his lips in a searing kiss. It somehow reminded him of the intimacy of their bodies pressed against each other, sticky from sweat and come, and he found that he really, really enjoyed it. So, he let himself get swept up by the blonde’s actions and let his mouth get ravished.

“I want my arms around you,” Cloud mumbled urgently into the kiss. Almost startled, Sephiroth opened his eyes, only to find Cloud’s already open and meeting his gaze head-on. Hesitantly, he pulled away from the kiss and stared at Cloud as if he hadn’t understood the words.

“Wrap my arms around you, please, Sephiroth,” Cloud said, without a hint of fuss.

Air left Sephiroth’s lungs in a surprised little puff, before he broke into soft laughter. Then he started to arrange Cloud more properly on the bed. He carefully placed Cloud on his side, a pillow under his head, lifted his arms and started to shake out the blanket.

“What are you doing?” Cloud asked, with some alarm.

“Why, I’m getting us ready to sleep, my sweet, greedy little puppet.”

“Aren’t you going to clean me up?!” Cloud said, now clearly troubled but blushing at being addressed as part of a unit with Sephiroth. The word ‘us’ fulfilled so many of his childhood dreams, and that only threw him off in an entirely different way. He knew how stupid that was, but he couldn’t help it.

“I am not.”

“But I’m dirty!”

“Are you?”

Sephiroth wrapped Cloud’s arms tightly around himself with gleefully glowing eyes and then scooted himself down so that he could face Cloud’s chest. Then he started to lick away the smeared out and half-dried come, smirking when he heard Cloud’s shocked huff. No one could ever tell him that he didn’t know how to compromise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You like? Please let me know by lots of comments and kudos! xD


	7. When's Seph's Laundry Day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the thing is, it's my birthday today, so I get to update today too!!! Just one day after Cloud. Nothing interesting ever happens on my birthday. Just another near miss, like so many other things in my life. OH WELL xD
> 
> Sephiroth uses Cloud's feelings of being dirty against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like 99% betaed by my personal editing and grammar support champion [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).
> 
> Cate and I have also decided to give the chapter names for funsies. Give us some feedback. If it ruins the reading we'll take them down. They are NOT reflective of the mood in the fic. Only the the mood of us and possibly the rest of the world.

It was hardly a surprise Cloud hadn’t gotten much sleep that night. He’d had no chance to fall asleep with Sephiroth’s incessant licking of his chest and stomach. He supposed it shouldn’t find it surprising that he’d ended up getting painfully aroused by it in the end, even though he found Sephiroth’s actions absolutely revolting.

It had been a relief when Sephiroth had fallen asleep, and he’d had a lot of time to reflect on his predicament during the slow hours of the night. Sephiroth’s steady, quiet breathing against his stomach felt tender, once he got past the disgust of why he’d fallen asleep there. He did enjoy holding the General, and he’d definitely enjoyed aspects of the previous night. 

His orgasm… it had been beyond anything he’d ever felt before. Though it had been frightening to have his airways blocked off, he’d enjoyed taking the General in his mouth too. He badly wanted to see Sephiroth’s pleasured face as he came, but this train of thought quickly led him to everything he didn’t like. 

He didn’t like being paralysed. He downright hated the pressure of following directions without question, at least in this context. He hated not being seen as a person. Sephiroth’s desire for him was blatantly clear too, and that left him with mixed feelings. Though it was new and thrilling to have his body desired and appreciated, that alone didn’t make him feel safe. He desperately wanted to be liked for who he was in his entirety, and he wanted that from Sephiroth.

He knew that his wish was absurd, but he wanted it nonetheless. Once that was clear to him, he spent the rest of the night debating what he’d settle for. He’d carefully examined Sephiroth’s advice of ‘playing along’ or ‘locking his humanity away’. It wasn’t entirely unappealing, especially not considering last night’s experiences, but he wondered if he could live with himself if he gave in to Sephiroth so easily.

He’d just started to settle into himself at Shinra, in the infantry. He’d been able to reinvent himself, at least partially, when he’d left Nibelheim. He almost liked parts of who he was, especially when he was with Zack. Could he really stomach giving those parts up so easily, just when he’d found them? He really, really didn’t want to.

He realised he must have dozed off at last, because when he opened his eyes next, white sunlight was flooding the bedroom. He was warm and comfortable, and he felt cosier than he ever had in his adult life. He yawned and tried to stretch his body, but failed. It quickly reminded him of where he was. With that, he realised Sephiroth was still nestled in his immobile arms. When he’d yawned, the Silver General stirred, kissed his stomach and hugged him closer. 

It felt so good. Too good, and with a painful pang in his chest he remembered that it wasn’t real. He was here only because Shinra had some debauched ‘training scheme’ which had been forced upon him for the most shady, vague reasons. He wished things were different, that he’d come to be there from a different premise. He wished for it so much it hurt, and a quiet little whine made it out of his mouth.

“Puppet,” Sephiroth murmured affectionately and started kissing a trail up Cloud’s chest and running his hands over Cloud’s back. He cupped the mounds of Cloud’s backside and pressed their hips together, sighing softly at the feel of their morning glories meeting up.

Cloud could hardly believe his eyes when the newly awake Silver General entered his field of vision. The sight made whatever else was going on between those sheets a side-note at best. Sephiroth had faint little indents on his cheek from a wrinkled sheet he must have laid on, small grains of sleep in the corners of his eyes, and his silver hair was ever so slightly mussed. It was entirely disarming, and Cloud found himself wanting the General so much more for it. He believed it, that Sephiroth’s mother could have wiped out an entire race, if mother and child had anything in common at all.

“Will you be good for me today, puppet?” Sephiroth murmured softly and tried to smooth out the wrinkle between Cloud’s eyebrows with his thumbs.

Cloud’s eyes grew wide and shiny, and the first tears of the day were spilled before he’d said a single word. He felt utterly torn. He wanted Sephiroth’s approval, not for his obedience, but just for being himself. He knew that was not what was asked of him, and so he couldn’t answer. Anything he said would just make the pain cut deeper into him.

“Shh, so early in the morning, puppet.” Sephiroth gently took Cloud’s face in his hands and kissed it, but it only caused more tears to spill. He kissed them away, savouring Cloud’s lush emotions that seemed so deep and raw. He breathed them in and kissed them back into Cloud’s pretty mouth, flavouring the kiss with Cloud’s own bittersweet longing. 

The morning routine was the same as the day before. Cloud’s hair got combed. He was made to watch in the bathroom mirror as another needle went into his neck, renewing his paralysis. He was dressed in a sheer, white dress with many soft layers. It made Cloud think almost of a wedding dress, but this one was in different fabric. Plainer. Somehow it looked more elegant. Expensive, but understated. It accentuated his waist and hid the muscles of his arms. Even he saw the likeness of a doll in his own reflection.

He kept quiet. His backside felt sore, not in a terrible way, just unfamiliar, and he was muddled and drowsy from his lack of sleep. This morning he was carried into the kitchen and sat by the table. He was left alone for a while, assuming that Sephiroth was taking care of his own morning routine. His assumption was proved right when Sephiroth returned clothed and refreshed to put on coffee.

“What do you like for breakfast, pet?”

“Does it matter what I like?” Cloud asked in a clearly sour tone. He knew he’d be left alone during the day since Sephiroth was wearing his signature uniform.

The mood shifted immediately. Sephiroth walked up to Cloud, let his hands slide into golden spikes and then yanked on them hard to force their eyes to meet.

“I told you yesterday to address me properly. To be asked for what you like is a privilege, and I expect you to answer me with gratefulness and respect. Would you like to try again?” Sephiroth’s voice had turned as cold and impersonal as the first time Cloud had stepped into his office, and it chilled him to the bones. Still, he glared defiantly up at Sephiroth.

“Fine. We’ll do it your way, puppet.” A devious smile flashed across Sephiroth’s face before he walked out of the kitchen, leaving Cloud to stew in his own apprehension.

When Sephiroth returned, he was scooped up in those arms, and Cloud felt a twang of regret when his head rested against that solid chest. He didn’t want to be put down. He childishly wished he could just stay in Sephiroth’s arms forever.

But put down he was, on the daybed in the living room just like before, but he noticed it was covered with a different fabric. Sephiroth’s touch was ever so careful as he arranged Cloud’s limbs on it. This time he was set to recline against the backrest on the short end of the daybed, and his legs up, lightly bent and apart along the length of it. Cloud tried not to let his fear take over. 

Sephiroth disappeared and returned with a large glass of water.

“Be clever about this, puppet.” Sephiroth warned, before he took some water into his mouth and started force-feeding it to Cloud, just like the day before. Just like with any liquids he’d been given.

Cloud tried to keep the physical interactions as plain as possible, but Sephiroth’s lips were soft and his throat was parched. When he heard himself hum softly, his throat thickened with shame and suddenly he was in a coughing and sobbing fit, spraying water all over Sephiroth’s face and chest, not to mention his own. To his surprise Sephiroth didn’t chide him. He just produced a handkerchief from some pocket and wiped Cloud and himself off.

“Just a little more,” Sephiroth murmured, stroking Cloud’s cheek with the back of his hand until Cloud had settled. Then he resumed to make Cloud drink water from his mouth until the glass was emptied.

“Decide how to apologise upon my return, puppet,” he said, sounding stern, soft and a little bit sad, all at once. It made Cloud want to reach out for Sephiroth to make him stay.

Cloud had the unsettling feeling that Sephiroth could see right through him, because instead of leaving, Sephiroth crouched down in front of the daybed. To Cloud’s horror, Sephiroth’s smile took on a wicked air. He grabbed the hem of Cloud’s dress and started rolling it up his legs and thighs, until his genitals were exposed. 

As if that wasn’t enough, Sephiroth took great care to frame them with the white, fluffy fabric. It made Cloud’s heart sink and stomach turn, but he found no words with which to question Sephiroth’s actions. He doubted he’d get a favorable reply anyway. He just stared at Sephiroth with glowering disbelief as the General stood up, flashed a knowing smile, and then turned to walk away.

…

Cloud stomached his emotions like a fishing net too wide to catch any fish. They just moved through him, tore through him throughout the day, left to wait alone. He went through phases of sadness, disappointment, anger and hopelessness, over and over again. It was even worse when his thoughts strayed to the evening before, because he had a plain view of his own reactions to the memories. It was appalling to see how plainly his own arousal swept him away. He even dozed off, just to wake up to the nightmare that his reality had turned into.

The nature of his ‘punishment’ didn’t really dawn on him until he heard the front door open. He heard someone walk around in the apartment for quite a while before Sephiroth appeared before him in his black silk velvet robe. He bent down, flashing a knowing smile, to give Cloud a soft, plush kiss on the lips and stroke his hands once through those golden spikes, before he walked off, leaving Cloud with his heart racing in alarm.

His need for the toilet had been pressing for a while, and he’d been so relieved when he’d heard the door open. He’d been further relieved when he’d seen Sephiroth, but when he was still left alone after being greeted, he finally understood what the point of that extra sheet under him was.

Bitter sobs forced themselves up through his throat and out of his mouth, and he let his head hang heavily as his need worsened. He found himself to be so on edge, listening for any sounds that would indicate that Sephiroth would come to relieve him. Occasionally he heard Sephiroth walking around, at one point he even walked past him without sparing him a glance, but still no relief was given.

He tried to keep his sobs quiet, not wanting to give Sephiroth the satisfaction of his humiliation, but the pressure in his bladder grew more painful with each passing minute. He wondered if it was possible for his bladder to burst if he fought his need hard enough, and a part of him hoped so. Perhaps it’d kill him, which would at least be one way out of his situation.

He’d heard the sounds of dinner being made, and the heavenly smells of butter and fried potatoes. He heard the chime of cutlery against porcelain. By the time he heard lights being switched on he had been reduced to a shivering, aching mess. He couldn’t cry anymore. The sobs would surely have made him burst, but small, lamenting whines made their way out now and then. When Sephiroth still didn’t come to relieve him then, he knew that had been his intention all along.

His heart broke with bitter disappointment as he let himself go. It was disgusting to see exactly how and when he lost control of his body. The warm yellow fluid streamed from him in hampered bursts, how they wet the beautiful, white, clean fabric which seemed to soak the liquid up very well. He felt the burning warmth that started in his groin but spread in scorching humiliation and self-hatred throughout his entire body. 

He both saw and felt his piss pour over him, down onto the daybed, and then he heard the stream that fell onto the floor and petered at last into dripping. A palpable, foul twang polluted the air, and he wanted nothing more than to sink into the daybed, through the floor, through the earth, dreaming of staying nothing short of six feet under.

His breaths turned panicked, and then he was crying again. Still, no one came to help him. He’d never felt alone quite like that before. He couldn’t even hide his own face in his hands.

Only when he’d calmed down, given up and rested his head backwards with his eyes closed, did he hear the footsteps that announced company.

He felt Sephiroth’s smooth hands on his face, his thumbs gently cooling his burning face. They felt like a blessing, and Cloud could feel his tension melting immediately.

“Are you ready?” Sephiroth’s soft, low, quiet voice contained just a hint of smugness, and it sent shivers through Cloud’s entire body.

“I am,” Cloud whispered and swallowed, before he added, “sir,” with utmost thoughtfulness. Another wave of shivers swept through him, for some reason he didn’t understand.

“I apologise, and I’ll be better for you, sir.” 

Sephiroth bent down in front of the daybed to revel in Cloud’s resignation. Cloud’s eyes were red and swollen, making the pleading, pale blue eyes seem even larger. Cloud’s face was ashen, but had a tinge of humiliation that seemed to have permanently seared his cheeks. The fluffy fabric of the dress was wet and flattened, sticking to Cloud’s hips. He reached out for it to rub it into Cloud’s skin, wanting to rub in the punishment. Cloud groaned, tensed up as much as he could, frowned and cast his eyes down with humiliation.

“Did you miss me?” Sephiroth purred. He could practically see Cloud strangling his own indignation.

“Yes… sir,” Cloud said flatly, but the halting rhythm of his voice spoke volumes.

“Are you angry with me?” Sephiroth teased and lifted Cloud’s face by his chin with his hand, still moist from touching Cloud’s dress. Then he let his lips graze over Cloud’s soft, pink cheek before he kissed it.

“Yes, sir,” Cloud managed, but sighed against his will when Sephiroth’s hands traced to his neck and the back of his skull and started kneading into all the tense muscles there.

“Where do you think your anger will get you?” Sephiroth whispered into Cloud’s ear and then traced it, nipping it softly with his lips.

“At the moment? Nowhere, sir,” Cloud sighed, finding himself in that place of resignation again.

Sephiroth quickly shed his robe with a self-satisfied smirk and climbed into Cloud’s lap, straddling him. It gained him all of Cloud’s suddenly alert attention. He took Cloud’s hands and helped them drift over himself. He moved them from his own neck down his stomach, over the patch of curly, silver hair, then down to Cloud’s own deflated organ, and onto the dress. He had to stifle his laughter at Cloud’s face, a perfect mixture of surprise, delight and disgust. He dragged Cloud’s hands up over himself again, over his cock-- which stirred at the touch-- over his stomach, over his hips.

“I don’t care what state you’re in, pet, do you understand?” To prove his point, he wrapped his rapidly hardening erection in the soaked dress with Cloud’s hands under his own and rolled his hips into it.

Cloud’s eyes flicked rapidly between Sephiroth’s face and what was going on in his own hands, unsure of if he wanted for it to stop or not. Gods, why now?! Why was Sephiroth doing this now?

“I get it, I get it, please… sir,” Cloud gasped, “enough.”

Sephiroth hummed in slight amusement, dropping Cloud’s hands and elegantly climbing off of the blonde, who sighed with relief. He gave Cloud a moment to calm down, petting his hand until Cloud could meet his gaze.

“Still angry, pet?”

Cloud shook his head with a pleading look. Sephiroth decided he’d use the same dress again, whenever Cloud seemed to be in a rebellious mood, and then he scooped up Cloud into his arms and carried him to the bathroom.

Cloud felt himself steadily manoeuvred, just like he had been the night before. He was subjected to the same procedure of having his colon cleaned out with water, but he barely registered any discomfort this time, since Sephiroth’s hands were steady and comforting on him at all times. He just blocked out the rest as best as he could.

He felt himself lifted into the bathtub, and he heard the sweetest sigh escape from his own mouth when the water turned on. He had no idea he could make a sound like that. When Sephiroth started scrubbing him down he thought he was crying again, but he wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter, because everything was heavenly. It was heavenly to get clean, to not be alone, to not be abandoned and dirty anymore. It was a high unlike anything he’d ever felt before. After his initial scrub down, the stopper was put in the tub and it started filling.

“Pet, I’ll let you soak for a while. Would you like me inside the tub with you, or--”

“Yes. Yes, sir.” Cloud interrupted impatiently and without any doubts. Sephiroth chuckled softly and sat down in the tub, arranging Cloud to rest in his lap.

Cloud kept his eyes closed, more to hide from himself than anything else. It scared him, the way he suddenly giggled uncontrollably when Sephiroth started to shampoo his hair, or how he sighed with relief and unrestrained joy, and he felt even more out of control when his mood suddenly shifted to sobs that ripped through him, though from relief or sorrow he honestly could not tell. The important thing was that Sephiroth did not leave his side again, and he wished he could grab hold of the General, embrace him, cling to him. He wanted reassurance that the day wouldn’t be repeated. It had been the most humiliating experience of his life and he was just so tired.

Even Cloud could feel the water getting cool before Sephiroth decided the bath was over. He was held, rinsed and sat on a stool while patted dry, ever so carefully. That too, felt heavenly, and he leaned into every touch that he could when his hair and face was dried.

“Would you like some ice cream before bed, pet?” Sephiroth asked, caressing Cloud’s cheek with the back of a finger.

Cloud’s eyes flew open with surprise. He was starving.

“Yes, please, sir.”

Cloud was dressed in a fluffy, white bathrobe and only left alone for long enough that Sephiroth could put one on too. Then he was carried into the kitchen, sat down on the same chair that he had been in at breakfast-time. 

It took Sephiroth a few minutes to arrange it, but when he was done, a pretty crystal bowl was set down on the table in front of him. The ice cream was prettily presented in a perfect sphere, marbled with what he assumed was caramel flavouring. It was topped off with fresh raspberries. 

Sephiroth sat down on a chair in front of him and lifted the first spoonful to Cloud’s mouth. Cloud had to close his eyes, still far from being used to being fed, but the flavour that hit him was simply exquisite. It efficiently erased his embarrassment. Somehow the ice cream tasted more real than any other he’d had before. And fresh berries, he couldn’t even remember when he’d last had any. Where had Sephiroth even gotten them? Nothing grew in Midgar.

“Is it to your liking, pet?” Sephiroth murmured, sounding almost as high as Cloud felt.

“Yes, sir,” Cloud said and dared to open his eyes again, feeling shy and uncomfortable with addressing Sephiroth so formally in such an informal setting. It reminded him of the distance between them, even if what they’d been doing had been far more intimate than he even knew was possible. Perhaps that was the whole point, he thought, his heart sinking.

“Don’t you want some too, sir?” Cloud asked carefully, unsure if he was breaking some rule by asking.

Sephiroth studied Cloud intensely, his lips curling with a hint of amusement, before replying, “No, this is for you.”

Cloud wondered if he had read the room right. Was the ice cream an apology? Or perhaps it was just more manipulation. He had no way of knowing, and the thought was sobering. He felt some of the fog in his head lifting. He thought he could almost taste something nostalgic in the air between them. He found that immensely odd.

After the ice cream, his teeth were brushed, and that too was so careful it came across as a highly sensual experience. He’d never reflected how nice the straws of a toothbrush felt against his gums before. It was absurd, but undeniable. 

After that, he was laid into the bed and Sephiroth laid himself down next to him, stroking him in inoffensive places until Cloud’s breathing turned deep and regular. Without a word, Cloud was rolled to the side, and he felt a slick finger press against his entrance. Cloud felt like he should protest, groan, something, but ultimately, he was too tired. He did his best not to tense up. He just listened inwardly to his own body’s reactions. The finger only provided minimal stimulation, and he assumed he’d gone soft, because the finger was removed and he felt something else, harder press against him. Slowly it was slid into him.

“Well done, pet,” Sephiroth murmured into Cloud’s back. “Tell me how you’d like to sleep.”

“It’s going to stay inside, sir?” Cloud asked, trying to suppress his discomfort of the idea.

“Yes. You’ll get used to it. It won’t do you any harm.”

Cloud felt soothing hands in his damp hair. He let himself be calmed while he tried to decide how he wanted to sleep. He’d liked the way they’d slept the day before. It was nice to have his arms around Sephiroth, instead of the other way around. It felt like something of a luxury, seeing as it wasn’t something he could do during his time awake.

“I want my arms around you, sir.” Cloud said, still flinching inwardly at ‘sir’.

“Alright, pet.” 

Cloud found it almost childish the way Sephiroth buried his face into his chest. It made him wonder what Sephiroth’s previous arrangements with his ‘puppets’ had been. It wasn’t a pleasant thing to dwell on, so he pretended his arms had come to embrace Sephiroth with his own muscles, and did his best to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish for lots of comments and kudos for my birthday and every other day! xD


	8. Cloud's Feeling Awfully Spicy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zack enters the arena. Zack and Cloud have a conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been pre-betaed by -standing in the corner- legend, [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).

Cloud woke up warm and cosy. This morning he found Sephiroth’s head close enough to reach using his face. He bent down and placed his nose in Sephiroth’s hair and breathed in the scent; it smelled of shampoo, but there was something warmer underneath it. Something fresh and earthy, like wet moss. The scent of Sephiroth himself. He pressed his lips to the crown of Sephiroth’s head.

It wasn’t that he was in a particularly good mood, or even particularly happy with Sephiroth in any profound way. It was about what he wanted, and what he could do. He wanted to express himself. He wanted Sephiroth, but not in the way that their current arrangement allowed for. This whole arrangement was like placing something he wanted just outside of his reach, forever taunting him.

Sephiroth didn’t stir, so Cloud nuzzled his face into that silver hair, trying to resist the urge to bite into Sephiroth’s skull in retaliation for what he’d been put through. At last he opened his mouth as wide as it could go and grazed his teeth along the curve of Sephiroth’s head, feeling the strands of hair being scraped along.

“Good morning, Demon of Wutai,” Cloud murmured as soon as he felt Sephiroth stir. He didn’t intend to provoke, more like lay down a personal claim on their relationship. ‘Sir’ just didn’t cut it.

A crushing embrace knocked the wind from Cloud’s lungs. Sephiroth’s teeth sank into his flesh, stinging first, then bruising and crushing until the pain too, prevented Cloud from breathing. It was a strange sensation against his relaxed body, and somehow, he couldn’t hate it. Perhaps it had to do with the sudden lack of oxygen to his brain.

A hand trailed up his chest and pushed into his mouth, forcing it open, instantly making him gag, and causing shooting pains up his jaw.

“Bite if you will, pet. See if your teeth will shatter or not,” Sephiroth mumbled over the sound of Cloud struggling not to heave.

Cloud blinked away tears of strain and shook his head, which brought about a renewal of gagging discomfort. Sephiroth smirked and slowly started to withdraw his hand, dragging his fingernails at the soft surfaces of Cloud’s mouth as he went. Cloud started at him, but there was something decidedly rebellious in those eyes. Something he instantly wanted to fuck out of them. Well, that could be arranged. 

Meanwhile, he reached around to Cloud’s backside, grabbed the base of the plug that had been left in overnight and gave it a few firm tugs. The way it made Cloud’s face warp in surprise, realization and indignity was a perfect morning treat. He continued to lazily pull at the plug, propping himself up on his elbow.

“I was thinking of inviting Zack over tonight, what do you think of that, pet?”

“What?” Cloud’s face flooded with fear. Another sharp tug at the plug and a cocked eyebrow made Cloud reluctantly add a “sir.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re thoroughly prepared.” Though Sephiroth’s voice seemed conversational, Cloud thought he’d never seen Sephiroth look quite so self-satisfied before, and that was ominous. However, he couldn’t think of anything else to do but to keep testing the waters.

“I like bread rolls, cold cuts, fresh vegetables, juice, butter, orange marmalade and a soft-boiled egg for breakfast. And I take my tea with milk, sir.” He might as well try to make the most of it.

Sephiroth’s face fell with a muted snort before he got out of bed, heaving Cloud up over his shoulder, ass in the air. Perfect for tugging at that plug, all the way to the bathroom. His grin grew wider with every one of Cloud’s strangled moans.

…

To Cloud’s surprise he’d gotten most of what he’d wanted for breakfast, but after that he was left alone in the living room again. He felt his hate for that daybed increasing exponentially by the day. He’d been dressed in that damned silk robe, along with the wide belt that wrapped around him too tightly to be comfortable. So, he’d spent most of the day in shallow breaths, trying to figure out why Zack had been invited over. 

He did get a chance to thoroughly appreciate and contemplate the paintings hanging on the walls. Most seemed to be from Wutai, depicting the periods of civil war, and one looked like a coronation of sorts. Rich people gathered wearing rich people’s clothes. Not unlike what he was wearing now, in fact. Well, the women, that is. Disturbing.

The afternoon passed with an early dinner, after that he was put through the enema routine, a quick bath and then he’d been efficiently stretched, lubed and plugged. Apprehension about meeting Zack in his current state kept him quiet. Almost every minute was spent in trying to prepare what to say to Zack.

He was redressed in more layered robes and a much heavier and wider belt. As troubling as he found it, Sephiroth’s meticulous way of dressing him, his deft fingers manipulating the fabrics, his attention to detail and the very many appreciating looks and glances made Cloud’s heart race. Feeling the plug inside him shift when Sephiroth manipulated his limp body didn’t help to calm him down either.

Every time Sephiroth’s hands accidentally, or deliberately, he wasn’t sure, grazed his skin he had to make an effort to keep his breath steady. He found it easier to get swept up in getting dressed than undressed. Then he’d been placed sitting on the made bed, resting against the headboard.

His guts tied themselves into knots when he’d heard doors open and shut outside the bedroom, Zack’s familiar laughter interjecting the lower, softer voice of Sephiroth. Did Zack know why he was here? It seemed a torturous eternity before the door to the bedroom opened and Zack stepped through it.

“I’ll leave you two alone for a moment,” Sephiroth said with a smirk and stepped out.

Zack’s eyes were immediately glued to Cloud sitting to the bed, and his face grew redder than Cloud could remember having seen before.

“Uhh, hi, Spike.” Zack rubbed at the base of his neck, looking as he was trying to hide his embarrassment of his own interest before he stepped over to sit next to Cloud at the edge of the bed.

“Zack,” Cloud’s voice came in a shrill, dry sob, “I can’t move.” 

“I know, I know. Gaia!” Zack sighed, reluctantly lifting his eyes to his friend, not wanting to see the pain and confusion he knew he’d find there.

“My legs are asleep,” Cloud blurted, quickly dropping his guard in front of his dearest friend.

“Oh, you want me to move them?”

Cloud nodded, blinking furiously at the threat of tears. Zack’s hands were distracting him quickly from his tears. They seemed much more hesitant than they normally were. He’d always known Zack as such a touchy person. Zack always slung an arm over his shoulders, mussed his hair, punched his arm... When Zack straightened Cloud’s legs, Cloud’s shifting balance reminded him of the plug in his ass and lack of underwear. He had to bite back a groan of discomfort, and he felt his face heat up with devastating embarrassment. He could tell Zack was careful not to let the layers of robes slip open, for which he was eternally thankful. The whole thing still made them both incredibly awkward. Cloud felt himself staring at Zack’s hands, marvelling at the intense feelings that they were bringing.

“Do you know why I’m here?” Zack asked while squeezing Cloud’s feet.

“No, but I can kinda guess. Oh gods Zack, I’m so sorry. Maybe if I hadn’t--”

“What! No! Erhm, Sephiroth asked me if I wanted to come, and I said yes. I’m not here under orders. Me and him, we…” Zack sighed and swallowed in a desperate attempt to wet his dry throat. “You… I’ve been… Err…”

“Spit it out, Fair.” Cloud frowned with confusion. Zack’s uncharacteristic hesitation made him feel sick to his stomach. It was troubling in so many ways.

“I’ve been crushing on you for a while now, so this…”

Cloud erupted in an unhinged, scathing laugh. “You must be joking!”

Zack shook his head and moved Closer, taking Cloud’s hand in his.

“No, absolutely not. Why would I joke about that?”

Cloud abruptly stopped laughing and searched Zack’s face for traces of sarcasm. When he found none, his anxiety crashed into him so hard it made him gasp.

“Hey, hey, Cloud?” That was his limit. Zack couldn’t stop himself for scrambling Cloud into his arms anymore.

“You want this? With me like this?” Cloud asked and allowed himself to fall apart in the familiar embrace, thinking of his arms hanging lifeless at his sides, and the stupid fucking getup he was wearing.

“I mean, it isn’t exactly what I’d imagined… And I don’t have to be! Ask me to go and I’ll go.”

“But he’s gonna be here too, right?”

“Yeah. Uhm, we, Seph and me, we’re kind of a thing.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, we’re not exclusive or anything but… it’s been going on for a while. Since I, uhm… I shared your position.”

“Oh my fucking gods, Zack. Is that why I’m here?! Is it?!”

“I don’t know! I don’t think so, but I don’t know. He can be impulsive.”

“Oh my fucking gods I wanna punch you so much right now how the fuck did you not tell me?” 

Zack squeezed Cloud closer to his chest, as if that could stop his own bleeding anxiety.

“We keep it secret, I’m so sorry. I’m not sure it would have made a difference anyway. I’d feel the same about you even if you would have known.”

“I fucking hate you sometimes,” Cloud said, but his words had no real bite. Still, it made Zack push him away, holding him at arm’s length by the shoulders. When Cloud saw the hurt in Zack’s eyes, he instantly regretted what he’d said, but he couldn’t find it in himself to apologise. It was hard to not direct his anger at Zack, mostly because he was the first possible, safe outlet for it since he’d come here.

“Okay. I can take that, but you still haven’t told me. Do you want me to stay for this?”

Cloud’s anger melted in an instant with Zack’s question.

“I’ve never done this before,” Cloud’s words came out as a reluctant confession.

“It’ll be alright.” Zack took Cloud’s hand and traced his thumb over it.

“I’m scared, Zack.”

“What for, Spikey?”

“Fuck! I don’t know! The way I look, smell, what I do, what my body does, what it will feel like, doing something wrong, being ridiculous, saying the wrong thing, you fucking take a pick.” Cloud rolled his eyes in frustration at his friend’s stupid confidence. A trait they didn’t share.

“Well… for better or for worse, Spike, you can’t really do much.” Zack gave a small, almost apologetic, smile that seemed to gloss something else over. 

“I doubt anyone would object to your looks…” Zack’s voice trailed off and Cloud could see it for the first time, the lust bleeding into Zack’s eyes as they raked over his dolled-up self.

“Zack?” Cloud croaked uncomprehendingly, thinking he must have looked ridiculous and pathetic.

“Even if you’d ask me to leave, I’d feel lucky to have seen you today. Seph’s tastes may be old fashioned, but… seriously, Cloud, I could eat you up.”

At that point the door swung open, and Sephiroth appeared in his black silk robe.

“So, is he staying, pet?”

Cloud’s eyes flicked between Sephiroth and Zack, measuring up Sephiroth’s calculated calmness and Zack’s new way of looking at him.

When Cloud nodded his reply, it wasn’t Sephirtoh’s eyes that seemed to burn a hole all the way to his core, but Zack’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WANT MORE? Shower me in praise.
> 
> Also, let me know if the new titles are detracting from the reading experience. I'm too far gone to grasp how utter silly sarcasm blends with reading a fic like this.


	9. Onions have layers, Cloud has layers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a dub-con threesome of sorts with Seph, Zack and Cloud. Basically the dream team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all make a deep bow to [Cate Sith's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith) excellent betaing and chapter-naming work.

It wasn’t what he’d imagined— nowhere even close— but Zack’s ravenous eyes on him, even if he felt so humiliated with the situation he was in, were not entirely unappealing. Zack had always made him feel seen. He’d just never imagined that Zack would want to see so much of him. Their brief conversation had done some to calm his nerves, and the intrigue of Zack’s touch, well, it certainly had indicated a spark between them. And Sephiroth… 

“Get undressed, Puppy,” Sephiroth’s voice seemed artificially sweetened, but sweet nonetheless.

Cloud startled at the unquestioning enthusiasm with which Zack started to shed his clothing. Sephiroth walked away and returned with a black leather collar that he clasped around Zack’s neck. It had four rings attached, one at the front, back, and one on each side. Though it looked a little grotesque, it made an appealing contrast to Zack’s warm skin tone. 

Cloud found the casual way Zack leaned in to kiss Sephiroth after he’d been collared even more startling. It wasn’t overly sexual; it wasn’t a show… It almost read as docile or dutiful; an act of well-practiced deference, but Zack looked subtly overjoyed while doing it. Then Sephiroth sat down on the bed and placed his cool hands on Cloud’s feet, rubbing and petting them lightly.

“Good Puppy. Would you like to undress your little plaything?”

“Yes, please,” Zack mumbled with his sky-blue eyes glinting in the softly lit bedroom.

Cloud saw a reassuring smile pass over the thick layer made up of lust, eagerness, even pride on Zack’s face as he crawled on top of him. Sephiroth began giving directions in which order to untie the belts, sashes, scarves and ribbons that confined him, and it was a lengthy process. At first, he could barely feel anything through all the layers, but as they were peeled away from him, Zack’s touches became more pronounced.

Zack’s started out looking apologetic, but when he was pulling apart the first robe he froze up with a distinct gasp. Brief surprise was on Zack’s face, but it quickly warped to something knowing and greedy. It made Zack’s gaze so intense and weighty Cloud reflexively wanted to shy away from it. A loud smack sounded in the room, making Zack blush, jerk and whine.

“Focus, Puppy,” Sephiroth said with detached amusement.

Cloud’s face was full of concern, but Zack’s broke out into a wide grin as he lowered himself down to whisper, “Don’t worry, I like it this way,” in Cloud’s ear.

Cloud couldn’t readily see in detail what was going on behind Zack, but clearly, he was being worked up, because Cloud’s disrobing became slower. Zack was frequently pausing, jerking, quietly moaning and closing his eyes to revel in some new sensation. To see Zack’s arousal build so intimately was stunning. Cloud found himself feverishly imagining what Sephiroth was doing to Zack out of sight, and though he didn’t intend to, his mind cast himself in Sephiroth’s role.

To watch Zack trying to balance the act of undressing him with Sephiroth’s distraction was irresistible. Zack clearly wanted to be respectful towards him, while Zack’s desire for him was become more bared by the second. By the time Zack was down to the last layer of belts and the last robe Zack was jerked by the collar to sit up. 

Zack reached up with his neck as high as possible to lessen the strain of the collar of his neck, but he didn’t look particularly uncomfortable. In fact, judging from his raging erection, the flush on his cheeks and his softly fluttering eyelashes, he seemed to enjoy it. Cloud found his eyes glued to the beautiful lines of Zack’s stretched out body, and for the first time he could hear subtle, rhythmic wet noises that kept in time with Zack’s discrete rolling of his hips.

“Do you like your little plaything, Puppy?” Sephiroth murmured and ran one of his hands over Zack’s front, caressing teasingly along Zack’s length. The pretty little moans spilling from Zack’s lips made Cloud’s eyes widen with wonder. Clearly Sephiroth was orchestrating a display for him, and he found himself enjoying it much more than he felt that he should have.

Zack’s eyes went from dazed and unfocused to sharp and fixed as they landed on Cloud. He fired a heated smile and spoke without a hint of doubts or shame. “Yes, I love him.”

Cloud’s cheeks turned a deep shade of red, rolling his lower lip between his teeth. He tried to find something to say, but nothing came to mind. Zack had said he had a crush when they spoke earlier, nothing about love. He felt entirely lost at what to do with that piece of information, so he just filed it away.

“Tell me what you’d like to do with your plaything.” Sephiroth murmured before he playfully hooked his chin over Zack’s shoulder and pulled Zack closer to himself, while curiously peering down at Cloud.

“I would like to taste him. Kiss him. Lick him… Suck him. Make him feel really good.”

“You can do all that, Puppy, but you may only come with my permission. Do you understand?” Sephiroth purred and squeezed the base of Zack’s cock hard enough to make him gasp.

“Yes,” Zack whimpered, but only seemed to melt further into Sephiroth’s arms. He turned his head towards Sephiroth, momentarily tearing his eyes from Cloud, and received a tender little kiss.

Cloud could see Zack trying to keep his focus on him as he spoke, but Sephiroth’s touches almost seemed to have a hypnotic effect. Zack looked like he was being dragged into some lower level of sentience where only pleasure existed, because he looked so carefree, even as he was being played with in front of someone else, and Sephiroth looked more pleased than Cloud had ever seen him before.

“Hm? Do you find him pretty?” Sephiroth asked and kissed a little trail up Zack’s neck.

“Very.” Zack moaned softly and rolled his hips placidly into Sephiroth’s hand, still keeping his hazy eyes resting on Cloud.

“Are you enjoying yourself, undressing him?” Sephiroth bit into the soft flesh behind Zack’s ear, and Cloud could see how Zack’s leaking election bucked from it. It made his chest sting painfully, yet he couldn’t bear to look away.

“Yes, very much so. Thank you,” Zack replied airily and blinked slowly.

Just like always, Cloud found Zack’s honesty and directness hopelessly disarming, and everything that Zack had said went straight to his head. It was plain to see that Zack wasn’t playing games. He wasn’t saying what he thought anyone else wanted to hear. It was more as if Sephiroth had somehow peeled away Zack’s inhibitions, leaving Cloud with the impression of seeing Zack in a somehow purer form. If ‘pure’ could somehow apply to the depravity of what was going on.

Still, Cloud felt like he’d been trusted with some precious gift, seeing Zack unravel with pleasure, and the intimacy of it was most definitely arousing. It also helped that he suddenly found himself about to get naked with the two people he’d found most attractive on the whole of Gaia. Perhaps Zack had a point. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad to give himself over to them. With that thought, he found himself longing for Zack’s hands on him again. The notion of Zack’s hands peeling him out of his last robe made him positively ache for them, and he found that shocking.

“Do you want to fuck him, Puppy?” Sephiroth asked and let his lips burn the question into the skin of Zack’s reddened neck.

Zack tore himself some space to focus on Cloud again. He cocked his head and with a slightly less foggy, contemplative smile said, “If he wants me to.”

Cloud felt every hair on his body rising, starting at the top of his head. He definitely wanted Zack, but he felt like Sephiroth was trying to gift him to Zack as if he was an item, and that didn’t sit right with him at all. At the same time, his options seemed rather limited. It all just left him torn, soaking in his own arousal.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Sephiroth asked Zack with a sly grin.

“Always,” Zack said with perfect composure.

“Alright Puppy, finish with the undressing. You may shove the clothes to the floor. Best not to get them dirty.”

Cloud could see Sephiroth stand up behind Zack while shedding his own coat. Then Zack was shoved over, landing on all fours over Cloud. Zack lifted a lightly shivering hand to Cloud’s cheek, and let it trail down to the last of the sashes that closed the final robe. Cloud’s breaths became shallow and quick at the feel of Zack’s fingers moving over his face, disappearing above the thick collars, and reappearing through the thin layer of silk of his last robe.

“Zack, this is fucked up,” Cloud whispered with a conflicted frown, all while acutely aware that he couldn’t arch up into Zack’s touch like he instinctively wanted to, which was devastating.

A loud smack caused Zack to flinch and whine before he had a chance to reply, but immediately after, his face melted to a small, amenable smile that made Cloud more confused than ever.

“No complaints from the puppet,” Sephiroth’s voice sounded from somewhere behind Zack. Cloud still couldn’t see him.

“Is it? I wanna be here, Spike. I’m happy to be here, don’t you get that?” Zack murmured with sudden, impossibly bright sparks in his deep blue eyes.

Cloud shook his head, preoccupied with his imminent exposure. He was well aware that his worries about Zack seeing him naked were unfounded by then, but he still wasn’t able to push them aside. Zack’s smile turned compassionate. He kissed his thumb and ran it over Cloud’s cheek before he finally pulled the final bow open and pushed the silk robe that had covered Cloud open.

For better or worse, Cloud had no chance of gauging Zack’s reaction to his nakedness, because Zack lost all his focus with a helpless low groan, his body swaying unsteadily. The next time Zack’s eyes looked down on him they were glowing with desperate need, completely different from just a second ago.

Zack’s swaying body didn’t stop as he clumsily tried to push away the layers of clothes from under Cloud. He frequently paused, moaning and gasping, growing ever more desperate until he forgot all about the clothes that were framing Cloud like opened petals in different pastel hues. His head came to rest on Cloud’s chest, his laboured breaths causing goosebumps to form under him. 

By then, Sephiroth’s hips hitting Zack’s backside made sounds that filled Cloud’s head entirely with pornographic images that made him blush horribly, thinking of his friend in that way. But his friend was right there, dragging his nose from his chest to his neck with a deep, shivering intake of air.

“You’re so beautiful, Spike,” Zack murmured softly against Cloud’s neck, and then groaned from a particularly hard shove of Sephiroth’s hips.

“Kind ‘n’ witty,” he slurred on, his body rocking and his face hidden in the crook of Cloud’s neck. “Brave and strong,” he managed, pulling himself up, resting his weight on his forearms beside Cloud’s head, so that their eyes could meet.

“Let me kiss you, Cloud,” Zack asked with palpable strain to his voice, holding himself as steady as possible in the tense moment awaiting an answer. Cloud found Zack’s eyes sizzling with lust and passion, but there was still some awareness in there too. Something sane, patient and kind. Something recognisable. 

Before he even knew what he was doing, he bent his head forward, nodding, offering to meet Zack halfway. Zack’s warm lips were on his in an instant, and he could feel the tremors of Sephiroth’s fucking Zack through them. In the next heartbeat, Zack’s tongue had entered his mouth, tasting him with scalding eagerness. Zack was moaning wantonly, as if another dam restraining his lust had broken. He could feel Sephiroth’s rhythm becoming faster, punishing, even.

“A Puppy does not ask for permission to kiss his toy,” Sephiroth said in a low voice, not devoid of his own lust or amusement. Then he raised his hand to land heavy, open-handed blows on Zack’s backside.

Zack took the blows well, his first yelp swallowed by the taken aback little blond. After that he hurried to bury his face in Cloud’s hair and wrapped his arms around Cloud’s neck, almost as if to protect him from something. Sephiroth chuckled at the adorable gesture. It was almost as adorable as Cloud’s angered glaring at him, now that he was finally in Cloud’s line of sight. Cloud looked as if he were going to protest, but he was silenced before he started by an overbearing, threatening look from Sephiroth.

Sephiroth landed blows in sets of five, pausing between to let Zack breathe, placing soothing caresses over his back, backside and thighs. He repeated the process until Zack’s breathing remained deep and steady through the blows. It didn’t take long.

Sephiroth gave Cloud an amused look, placed his hands on Zack’s hips and asked, “Are you ready, Puppy?”

Zack raised his now tear-streaked face and stayed it above Cloud’s again. Cloud searched for traces of anger or hurt in his best friend’s face but found none at all. Instead, he found serene contentedness, even gratefulness and some of the most grounded determination he’d ever seen. All under a film of lascivious anticipation.

“Yes,” Zack said in a hoarse voice, and gave Cloud a fleeting but confident smile.

“Then brace yourself and come.” Sephiroth sounded so impossibly seductive that Cloud nearly moaned at the words. Zack definitely did, blinking slowly while taking a deep breath.

Apparently, Zack knew what was coming, because Cloud could feel Zack tighten up his frame. Sephiroth started to pound into Zack with a ferocity that Cloud was sure no paralyzed person could take, enhanced or not. Every thrust had Zack falling apart a little bit more. At first his eyes had been closed, but when he couldn’t bite back the sounds forcibly being pushed out of him anymore, they fell open and landed on Cloud who was watching, transfixed.

Cloud felt Zack’s sweat dripping down on him, and with a helpless cry Zack’s frame finally broke, bringing his face a fraction of an inch from Cloud’s.

“Zack,” Cloud whispered in shock and awe. 

Zack’s lips found Cloud’s, and his tongue pried Cloud’s mouth open. Cloud could feel Zack shuddering around him, Zack’s desperate cries vibrating down his throat and warm streams of sticky seed painting his belly. It was overwhelming and undeniably hot to partake in Zack’s pleasure. Cloud wished— so much it pained him— that he could wrap his arms around Zack, stoke him, pull him closer and heighten his pleasure even more. Instead, he did his best to follow Zack’s lead in the kiss, but mostly he just let his mouth get ravished. Judging from the lingering aftershocks, the raw moans, and even a small giggle before Zack withdrew from the kiss entirely, Zack was quite pleased.

He had no chance to bask in any afterglow because Zack was yanked away from him, into Sephiroth’s arms where he gave another adorable giggle before melting into a tender kiss. In the blink of an eye, Cloud felt painfully left out and abandoned. Sephiroth’s possessive hands on Zack drew out all the anger he’d nearly forgotten and now he barely kept himself from growling in frustration. He saw Sephiroth glancing over at him, and immediately Zack was shoved down over Cloud’s body again. 

“Puppy, you failed to get the clothes off of the bed. Clean up your mess before we remove them.” Sephiroth said while keeping a soothing hand on the small of Zack’s back. Zack immediately started to lick away the mess he’d left on Cloud’s stomach.

“What’s wrong?” he purred, hazy and sated when Cloud whined with gritted teeth.

“This puppet doesn’t like ‘dirt’,” Sephiroth chuckled and kissed a trail down Zack’s cleft, disappearing from Cloud’s sight again. Cloud groaned all the louder for the horrible implications and squeezed his eyes firmly shut.

“Sorry, Spikey,” Zack whispered and kissed Cloud’s stomach apologetically. 

Cloud definitely heard the humorous tinge in his friend’s voice. Great. Now he was being ridiculed as well, but at least he wasn’t ignored. Zack hummed contentedly now and then, his hands stroking Cloud’s chest and sides where it was dry. Cloud found Zack’s hands careful, warm and comforting. His anger settled down, and when it did, he found that he enjoyed Zack’s tongue on him. It was warm, slippery, and just the right amount of ticklish.

It seemed sudden when Zack scooped him up into his arms. Sephiroth collected and walked away with all the precious clothes bunched up in his arms. Cloud still kept his eyes shut, now embarrassed for being naked in his best friend’s arms.

“Oh Spike, is it really that bad?” Zack whispered and nuzzled his face into Cloud’s hair.

“Of course it fucking is, Zack,” Cloud spat his friend’s name out. Zack was not a damn puppy, he had a fucking name. He could feel Zack flinching, which immediately made him feel guilty. It had been apparent that Zack didn’t mind his stupid nickname. Perhaps that was exactly why it bothered him.

“Ssh, don’t be angry. Please don’t be sad. Please, please just try to feel good. Let me make you feel good. Be angry later.” Zack mumbled, placing Cloud carefully back on the bed and sat down next to him. Zack picked up one of Cloud’s hands, spread it in his hands and kissed his palm and then put it to his own face. It earned him Cloud’s conflicted, light blue eyes and Zack read them as well as any words.

“I meant it, what I said before. I’m sorry—”

“Apologise one more time, Puppy, and you’ll be thrown out.” Sephiroth casually leaned against the doorway, watching the puppet and the puppy with utmost attention.

“Now, puppet, I asked you once who you’d prefer to take you first, but I never got an answer from you. Would you like to choose, or shall I decide for you?” Sephiroth strolled over to sit on the other side of the bed from Zack, and took Cloud’s other hand and put it on his own cheek with a grin, clearly in a mockery of Zack’s gesture. He didn’t let it stay there though, but dragged Cloud’s hand down his body, to his flaccid length.

Cloud couldn’t miss the glare Zack shot at Sephiroth, and it made him feel better. Less alone. His eyes flicked from Sephiroth to Zack, and thought he wanted Zack so badly, but he simply couldn’t bear the thought of them being together under the heavy-handed presence of Sephiroth.

Then he remembered something Zack had just said. ‘Be angry later’. He could do that. He could be angry with Sephiroth later. He’d do whatever it took to get a chance to be angry with Sephiroth later. 

With that promise made to himself he said, “I choose you, Demon—”

Cloud didn’t have a chance to finish his preferred title for Sephiroth before Sephiroth’s hand was already prying his mouth open, effectively gagging him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some Tuesday smut to celebrate the start of another random and weird new chapter of my fucked up life. Thanks 2020, thanks. Could have been better, let me tell you.
> 
> Pls distract me from all the fuckedupness with lots of comments and kudos. I really appreciate it so so much. Let's keep this distraction going for all of us ok? 
> 
> Yeah I see yous, all of yous who registered accounts in the first half of 2020. Right there with ya. xD


	10. 🌶🌶🌶とてもスパイシー🌶🌶🌶

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Cloud gets it in a dub-con threesome. It turned out rather angsty, but yeah, things go like that sometimes. I'd say this is the angstiest point of the fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith) has betaed and named the chapter once more. I bow to her forever for all her oxford commas.
> 
> Oh, and the chapter title translates to something like "exceedingly spicy", in case you're wondering.

Cloud had to use all his focus not to gag on Sephiroth’s hand that was violently forcing his mouth open. A little more and he was sure he’d start splitting in the corners. Tears from the strain blurred his vision, and he couldn’t see if Sephiroth was looking pleased to ‘discipline’ him or displeased for him using the wrong title. Either way was bad, but he was too stubborn to regret it. 

Zack was holding his hand and soothingly stroking it. The image of Zack’s concern for him was uninvited but intruding on his mind. It was nice, he supposed, that Zack didn’t expect this to be easy for him, even if Zack himself seemed to have more perverted persuasions for what to do in a bedroom.

Sephiroth was now teasing his throat with the tips of his fingers, demanding his whole attention. He drew back, only to turn his hand and assault new places in his mouth. The movements were lazy and unhurried.

“Behave for me, puppet. Or I’ll have to punish you in front of your darling little Puppy. Is that what you want?” Sephiroth eased his fingers all the way to the back of Cloud’s throat, causing Cloud to close his throat and gag, moaning with pain. He kept his hand there until Cloud could focus again. When Sephiroth found the dull resignation he was looking for in Cloud’s eyes, he dragged his fingers against Cloud’s tongue, patiently pulling his hand out.

Naturally, Cloud thought he’d feel relieved, but instead he just felt weirdly empty and dejected. He could still taste the pleasant earthiness of Sephiroth’s fingers. He’d forgotten what they tasted like until just then, and -oh gods- was he missing them?

“Oh, Puppet,” Sephiroth sighed with distant humour and ran his thumb back and forth over Cloud’s lips, waiting for Cloud’s confusion to turn back into need, desire, willingness, or love. One of them always happened. It seemed to be written in his body, to entice that out of others. And there it was, a faint sliver of guilt and need in those pale blue eyes. He confirmed it by resting his thumb on Cloud’s lips, and of course, Cloud’s mouth fell open willingly now, his tongue beckoning it back inside. He found Cloud’s look of confusion and self-hatred quite endearing, even if it seemed like a waste of energy.

“Any more nonsense coming from that mouth of yours and I’ll have to put a gag on you.” Sephiroth slipped his thumb inside and pinched a grip around Cloud’s cheek, letting his fingernails dig into the soft flesh until Cloud gasped, shrieked and scrunched up his face in shock and pain. He then let go, bending down to kiss all of that confusion away.

Cloud filled his lungs greedily, as if Sephiroth’s mouth had intoxicated him from one heartbeat to the next, leaving him drunk and wanting more. He kissed Sephiroth as if he’d forgotten how good he tasted, how otherworldly and impossibly arousing the Silver General’s body was. It melted away Cloud’s anger, made him forget his pain, and made him content to lie lifeless in front of the two others. He chased after Sephiroth’s lips as much as he could when his mouth was left empty again.

One look shared between Sephiroth and Zack had Zack coming to sit behind him, Cloud’s head being gently lifted to rest in Zack’s lap.

“This okay, Spikey?” Zack murmured, his clear concern lingering. Cloud gave a small, dazed nod, and immediately Zack’s hands were in his hair and on his face. Cloud could feel Zack’s body warmth radiating into him, as well as the slightest nervous tremble in Zack’s hands as they combed through his hair. Zack looked almost apologetic, as if he was carrying some unnamed burden.

Cloud’s body felt like lead, lifeless and dark, like a part of the furniture, perhaps. He felt their close attention pinning him down more than ever. The realization that he was completely at the mercy of two First Class SOLDIERS suddenly crashed into him, with all the surrealness that came with it. Zack’s adoration took on a dreamlike quality which intensified with every gesture he saw. He felt the bed dip when Sephiroth moved to part his thighs and take his place between them.

When Sephiroth’s hands started wandering up his legs, Cloud gasped. Every touch left an incandescent trail of awakened nerves in a way that he hadn’t experienced before. Every handprint that Sephiroth left on him seemed to linger as a white-hot, glowing mark shining too brightly in his mind. It felt like the touches were changing him, changing something in his body, and that was frightening. With a wordless protest spilling from his lips, he looked up to Zack for comfort and reassurance.

“We got you, Cloudy, we got you,” Zack murmured and gave a steady pull on golden spikes.

Sephiroth’s hands glided up Cloud’s stomach, and Zack’s glided down his chest until their hands met each other’s on his stomach. The atmosphere in the room shifted, to something less calm, something charged and volatile. When Cloud met Zack’s eyes next, they weren’t just comforting anymore. They were magnetic and expectant, charged the same as the air that he pulled into his lungs.

Sephiroth dragged one of his hands to Cloud’s backside and gripped the plug that was buried there. The other took a loose grip on Cloud’s half-hard cock. He started twisting the plug, rocking it, preparing to get it out.

There was no doubt that Zack saw right through Cloud, because every insecure whine was transformed to a soft sigh by his comforting hands. Zack bled every tension from his neck, shoulders, arms and scalp. And so when the plug finally left him, again he felt that curious emptiness, only so much worse than when Sephiroth had left his mouth empty.

“Zack,” Cloud pleaded, though he wasn’t sure what he was asking for, or what Zack could possibly do for him.

“Ssh, you’re doing fine. You’ll feel so good in a moment, I promise.” Zack took Cloud’s arms and draped them above Cloud’s head, around his own waist. He let his hands glide firmly over Cloud’s chest, pressing down gently, hoping to anchor his friend.

Cloud felt his body stretched out, even more vulnerable, but it allowed for the air to pass easier in and out of his lungs, and Zack’s compression of his chest encouraged slow and steady breaths. The warm rush from Zack’s kindness was undeniable. He’d worried he’d made the wrong decision in letting Zack stay, but now his gratefulness was ramping up.

When Sephiroth pushed the tip of his finger inside, Cloud felt those nerves lighting up too. Even that little seemed overwhelming. He could feel Sephiroth testing his readiness, reading his every reaction. Whatever he found, it must have pleased him, because he was hooking Cloud’s legs around his waist and lining himself up.

Cloud’s breaths caught in his throat as sudden panic burned in his lungs. He could distantly hear Zack talking to him, but the words were unintelligible. Sephiroth was pressing into him, and it felt like the ownership of his body was being overwritten. 

He felt that new, hollow space that the plug had left being filled, and it truly felt fulfilling in a terrifying way. In a way, that was simply out of his control. It broke something inside him, and he felt as if the gates of hell themselves had opened in the nave of his chest. From them, overpowering anger flooded him entirely. His blood turned to molten lava, and it pushed back against that burning fullness of Sephiroth’s unwanted entry.

At first, he thought that it was his anger shaking him, but as he examined his own body again, he found it was Zack who was gently shaking him and calling to him. When the ringing of his boiling blood dulled down, he found himself growling and Sephiroth laughing softly in an understated triumph.

“Cloud, are you hurt? Does it hurt? Are you okay?” 

Cloud stared dumbly at Zack for a few moments, trying to remember why Zack was fussing over him. He looked up at Sephiroth between his legs, felt their bodies joined in a swaying, rolling motion that reached all the way inside him. He was stretched out, Sephiroth dragging against his walls, slippery and painlessly distant. 

“I’m… fine,” Cloud’s words rung a bit hollow, but what would be the point of worrying Zack even more? It was done.

Cloud let his eyes fall closed, looking inwardly again. Yes, the intrusion was painless, but it certainly wasn’t without friction. It was as if Sephiroth was inscribing the meaning of pleasure into him with every deliberate entry. Every time Sephiroth stabbed into him the feeling was carved deeper into his flesh, taking possession of it, persuading it to chase after more. But it also felt as if he himself was being pushed out of his own body, leaving him with a sort of double vision. He felt so much, but at the same time, nothing at all.

Perhaps it was alright if he’d lose his body to his florid nerves, because he’d found his anger now. He felt like he’d found his life’s companion, and with that, there was a deeper calm in that than anybody else could ever offer him. It made him feel bold.

He opened his eyes and caught Sephiroth’s gaze in a dead stare. “Go on then, sir. Fuck me harder.”

It wiped that triumphant smile right off of Sephiroth’s face, and then Sephiroth’s thrusts became shattering. It was good. It matched up with his own inner turmoil that raged within him. He didn’t bother to quiet any of his gasps, moans or cries, and when he grew sick of Sephiroth’s intense staring, he drank in Zack’s overbearing, lust-filled disbelief instead.

He could feel Zack’s erection somewhere in his hair, and on an impulse, he turned his head against it, to reach it, to lick it. He’d already fallen, he might as well fall all the way down. Besides, it was appealing to do something that wasn’t asked or expected of him, and all things considered, he knew Zack hadn’t.

“Cloud!” Zack gasped and jerked Cloud’s head reflectively away from him.

“Put me back.” Cloud turned his head to Sephiroth and repeated, “Put me back, sir.”

Sephiroth scoffed. He could see Cloud’s innocence dying right before his eyes, and it was just exquisite. Evidently, Zack saw it too, but seemed to find it much more worrying, though that didn’t seem to stop his arousal. Poor little sordid Puppy, he grinned. Humans sure worried a lot. 

He pulled out, flipped Cloud around, and shoved himself back into Cloud’s warm flesh hard enough to make the blond yelp. He took the opportunity to drive Cloud’s perfectly open mouth right down over Zack’s awaiting hardness, completely ignoring Zack shaking his head.

There was a splendid moment when Cloud’s body contorted violently in pain and protest, and Zack’s hands flew to Cloud to push him away but clearly, he couldn’t make himself do it. Instead, Zack’s head rolled back with a groan in his savouring of the illicit pleasure. Sephiroth could almost hear their little fragile hearts breaking, and it was such an irresistible, delicious sound. Like the shattering of the finest crystal glass. To his surprise, Zack did nothing to relieve the blond, so he took it upon himself to yank Cloud’s head off by the hair.

Cloud’s breaths were heaving and he fought to get them under control again. His tears mixed with saliva, all dripping down on Zack’s throbbing erection that looked absolutely ready to burst.

“I’m-,” Zack started, but couldn’t even look at Cloud.

“Don’t.” Cloud spat out excess saliva before he continued. “Put me back. I want to be put back, please sir.” Cloud’s voice was hoarse and cracking.

“Certainly, my dear little puppet,” Sephiroth murmured with appreciation.

Sephiroth took a firm grip of Cloud’s hair and lowered him down over Zack again, slower this time, but deeper now. He set a steady rhythm by dragging Cloud’s head up and down Zack’s length. He could clearly feel the tension brought down around him every time Zack’s erection rubbed past Cloud’s soft palate, but Cloud did a good job keeping his gagging in check. Zack seemed to shift between being stricken by dumbness, horror and lust, which made for a nice little performance for a while.

“Puppy, take care of your pet.” Sephiroth urged, letting go of Cloud to focus on chasing his own pleasure again. He shoved himself in hard enough to make Cloud moan around Zack, perfectly befitting for a little love-puppet.

Zack hurried his hands to support Cloud’s chest and head, careful to not put any strain on Cloud’s neck. He didn’t break the rhythm, but he slowed it down, handling Cloud with as much care as he could muster while half out of his mind from pleasure.

“Pup, that won’t do,” Sephiroth grinned, and simply drove Cloud’s head down again.

Cloud found himself in an agonizing game of push and pull. His jaw was aching and his throat felt sore, bordering on raw. Every shove hurt, a warm and wet pain washing over him with every one of Zack’s moans and groans. The strain of bearing it wasn’t all bad, it drew him back into his own body, but he kept that red-hot fury in him rushing through his veins.

“I’m gonna… can I?” Zack looked helplessly at Sephiroth, dutifully awaiting permission, ready to pull himself away if it wouldn’t be granted.

“Come, Puppy. On his face. Make him as dirty as you can,” Sephiroth murmured and let his hands sink into Cloud’s hips.

Cloud moaned in protest. For a moment he thought he’d be crushed; Zack was trying to raise him up while Sephiroth shoved his head down until his nose was in Zack’s dark patch of pubes. He was sure he’d be able to feel Zack’s cock in his throat from the outside if he could touch it, it was so deep, and he couldn’t breathe.

“Close your eyes,” Zack hissed.

The struggle of their wills seemed to be what pushed Zack over the edge. Cloud was raised up and they both held him steady as Zack gripped himself and painted Cloud’s face and hair with thick white release. With a shaking hand he dragged his cock over Cloud’s eyes and lips, making sure that Cloud’s face was perfectly glistening according to his own tastes. He finished by grabbing some of Cloud’s hair and squeezing the last of out him into those golden locks.

Cloud kept his eyes closed and his mouth was a straight line. Puffs of air were now expelled through his nose with Sephiroth’s steady pounding. He had no doubt that Zack was appreciating the spectacle he’d made, and he wasn’t sure if he’d even want to see the look on Zack’s face.

A sharp pain at his hips tore through his mind, and suddenly Sephiroth’s pace and force quickened to something brutal. Every time Sephiroth slammed into him the impact moved through him like water, white noise ringing out, filling his mind. His mouth fell helplessly open with hoarse cries that sounded nothing like pain. He could feel pressure building in his lower abdomen but before it found a release, he supposed Sephiroth found his. He could feel Sephiroth jerking inside, his hands digging into him deeper in a way that made him think of his own bones as soft and pliable. Something impossibly hot filled him, marked him, tainted him, sealing Sephiroth’s claim of his flesh.

In the scrambled sensations of the moment his eyes flew open. For one heartbeat he could see Zack staring at him, lost in utmost adoration, and that too sent a shockwave through him. It was almost painful how much he wished he’d had this first time with Zack alone. Then something sticky and thick clouded his vision. The next moment he could feel Zack getting off the bed and hear him walking out.

Sephiroth pulled out hastily and shoved Cloud to lie on his side on the bed. His neck and arms were adjusted rather carelessly, and then he could feel the bed dip down behind him from Sephiroth’s weight.

“What’s wrong, don’t like how your puppy eyes your pet?” Cloud croaked against his better judgement.

He wasn’t graced with a verbal reply, but a punishing bite to the back of his shoulder that made him scream. Right then he could hear Zack returning to the room with quick steps, and the next second a warm washcloth was wiping away the mess on his face.

“I’m taking a bath. No apologising, Puppy.” Cloud could hear a kissing noise and the soft steps of Sephiroth leaving the room.

“Zack? Is it over?” Cloud asked with a shaky voice, carefully opening his eyes and blinking between the wipes of the washcloth.

“I guess so, unless...?” Zack brushed meaningfully against Cloud’s still straining erection.

“No, I don’t care about that. Can you please just hold me?” Cloud winced at his own pathetic-sounding voice.

“Sure, Spike, whatever you need.” 

Cloud winced again at the guilt and sadness too present in Zack’s voice. The room had turned so calm now. Cloud was mindfully scrambled into Zack’s arms and Zack made their limbs entangle. Cloud felt himself deflating slowly, all his spite and anger draining to make room for sorrow. With a stuttering breath he started crying quietly, mourning the bitter taste in his mouth that he was sure would never leave. He mourned that his life’s companion wasn’t at all what he’d hoped for. It wasn’t even human. He could feel his anger watching him unapprovingly, fused to his bones, taking up that recently empty space of his significant other.

“Please, what can I do?” Zack whispered against Cloud’s hair.

Cloud felt the earnest desperation in Zack’s plea, in the warm hands that tried to soothe him in every way they knew. He knew that it was that same desperation that made Zack reach for his cock and his loose, dribbling hole. He could feel how Zack was trying to press his love into him, convince him of it, even though there was no need for it, not really. He knew. Perhaps Zack was a little bit more broken than he’d previously known, and clearly his ideas of love were a little bit broken too, but he had no doubts about Zack’s sincerity.

So, he let Zack shower him in that slightly defective love. It seemed to stick cover him like a varnish. It threatened to dry in a thick, hard coat that would shut all of his own feelings away behind an invisible, impenetrable shell. Perhaps that wasn’t a bad thing.

He breathed out Zack’s name, and that was all he needed to do to receive Zack’s soft lips on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eerh, happy weekend, I guess? ;_;
> 
> Kudos and comments always appreciated! <3 Even if you're like.... angry with me for being so depressing. xD
> 
> There are some cute clack and zangeal one-shots among my other fics if you need cheering up.


	11. These Two Magical Mako Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They boys have a threesome which is only 'dub-con' instead of entirely 'non-con'. it's actually not that dark, except for Cloud still being paralyzed, ofc. xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The magical [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith) has pre-betaed this chapter for you. Enjoy those oxford commas, and this A+ name that has pretty little to do with the rest of it. <3 Feel free to thank her in the comment section for her amazing support and editing skills.

Cloud was reluctant to open his eyes when he first woke up. Before he did that it would be easier to enjoy the warmth and comfort that he was currently enveloped in. Something was tickling his stomach, and someone definitely had their arms wrapped around his waist, pressing up against him all along his back.

Everything felt serene and soft, like sunshine after a storm. He’d worried about what the morning would be like as he’d fallen asleep. What would the day after a day like yesterday be like? Now that the morning had arrived, he found it had come painlessly. He was too drowsy to be angry, and quite frankly, anger seemed an unappealing way to start a day when the bed -especially the warm bodies around him- felt so good. The room still smelled a little too much of sex for his prudish taste, but he didn’t find it as repulsive as he thought. It somehow smelled like a warm glow.

Actually, he felt better than he thought he would. He felt refreshed. The bite mark on his shoulder blade wasn’t throbbing. His hips weren’t sore where Sephiroth had grabbed them. His jaw and throat didn’t ache when he swallowed. He put it down to having been healed in his sleep. It was a bleak comfort, but he was grateful for it anyway; though he quickly found himself second-guessing just how harshly he’d been handled the day before now that there were no traces left of it.

It might have been silly, but he cracked one eye open to sneak a peek at the world. He found a mess of black spikes as his stomach with a slender, pale hand nestled in it. He had no idea how, but both of them noticed him being awake right away.

“Spikey,” Zack mumbled and planted soft kisses on his stomach. Behind him, Sephiroth was raking his hands through his hair, gently awakening the nerves of his scalp. It felt heavenly, so he dared a hesitant little morning trill that he wished he could accompany with stretching himself out.

“Allow me, pet,” Sephiroth murmured against the nape of Cloud’s neck, grabbed Cloud’s wrists from behind and rolled Cloud onto his chest to make space to stretch Cloud’s arms out widely to the side. This time, Cloud’s purring sound of satisfaction was a lot less hesitant.

“Mmm Spikey, if you’re this cute in the mornings I’ve really been missing out,” Zack teased and ran his hands playfully through Sephiroth’s hair, down over Cloud’s chest and pulled down on his legs to help stretch him out.

Cloud sighed blissfully and broke into a smile at Zack’s carefree countenance. It was highly infectious. He hoped Sephiroth found it the same way.

“What would you like, pet? Breakfast in bed? A bath? A shower? Something else?” Sephiroth dragged his lips along Cloud’s neck and nipped at it playfully.

“Can I skip out on my shot today? Sir?” Cloud mumbled after a moment’s contemplation, more rhetorically than out of hope for a positive answer.

“No, puppet.” Sephiroth dragged his teeth along Cloud’s neck, but for some reason it didn’t seem like a threat.

“Can I address you informally?” Cloud pressed on. Zack was kissing a line down his chest, tickling his skin with his messy black spikes.

“No, puppet.” Sephiroth’s hands gently turned Cloud’s face towards his.

Cloud found Sephiroth’s soft morning appearance incredibly disarming again. In an instant, powerful dreams of a parallel world crashed into him. A world where they were true lovers, and this morning Zack was included in his dreams. Perhaps the thought was influenced by the casual intimacy of Zack combing his fingers through his pubes. It felt funny, but nice. Like something a lover would do. The soft little kisses Sephiroth pressed on his mouth did too.

“Can Zack stay here today, sir?” Cloud asked, after another few moments had passed.

“If he would like to, I can certainly request him for the day.”

“I would really like that.” Zack mumbled and continued his exploration of Cloud’s body with his mouth, now kissing down his thigh.

“Gods, Zack,” Cloud whispered when Zack followed up the kisses with a light brush of his fingertips.

Underneath him, Cloud could feel Sephiroth lift his hips off of the mattress, which gave another wonderful stretch to his back, and it was hard not to feel like he was floating.

“Can we stay here for a while… sir?” Cloud managed after a short inner deliberation, adding the title just to be sure not to spoil the good atmosphere.

It wasn’t that he’d forgotten about the cruelty of last night, but the temptation of smoothing it over with whatever was happening now was too great. He could still feel the taste of sadness in his mouth, as well as the tinge of guilt in Zack’s touches. If Sephiroth was feeling generous, he was sure it was for different reasons, but he found it hard to care about what those reasons were at the moment.

“In a mood to be ravished so early in the day, puppet?” Sephiroth murmured softly and let his hands play over Cloud’s chest and arms.

Cloud hummed thoughtfully, soaking up Zack’s rhythmic squeezing of his legs. It felt like he was being woken up just to turn into a willing, pliable putty. 

“Perhaps… I want to forget… yesterday… sir.” Cloud had to focus to not slur his words, so they came out slowly and slightly disjointed.

“Oh puppet, I doubt that’s possible, but you can always pretend.”

Cloud let out a sigh that sounded suspiciously like relief as Zack’s lips dragged along his cock. The sensation blended perfectly with the rest of the morning. It was simply an extension of the comforting warmth he’d felt all around him since he’d woken. Sephiroth’s hands were digging gently into the muscles of his chest, arms and face, draining tension away that he didn’t even know that he had. Every place they touched woke up to a new understanding of pleasure, and in that sense, he was most definitely reminded of last night. It didn’t matter. It felt too good to matter.

“Open,” Sephiroth whispered against Cloud’s ear, causing a wave of goosebumps to rise all the way from the crown of Cloud’s head to his feet.

Cloud barely knew what Sephiroth meant with this softly whispered command, but he found himself wanting to please him. In his mind he imagined the space between every one of his joints expanding. He felt as if his chest cracked open much like the shell of an egg being cracked open against the edge of a bowl. He felt his legs open, and he welcomed it. His mouth fell open to invite the sweet air that surrounded them into his lungs. His mind opened and exposed all the blank spaces that waited to be filled with new experiences. Briefly, he thought that he should be afraid, but he couldn’t find even a trace of fear. He could let himself open now, because he didn’t have anything left to lose.

“Good puppet,” Sephiroth mumbled and slid his fingers inside that pretty, open mouth, stoking Cloud’s teeth, tickling his tongue and gums.

Between Cloud’s legs, Zack was tentatively kissing and licking him, carefully sliding a slickened finger inside. From the way that Sephiroth was moving his hips and breathing, he assumed Zack was stroking Sephiroth, too. It felt heavenly, like nothing could be harsh in the world. No rough edges, no sharp corners, and he let himself float away on that high.

He lost track of all the hands in and on his body. Only in the distance could he feel something warmer and thicker slide into him, making him oh-so pleasantly stretched-out and full. Warm waves of pleasure washed his every thought away. It felt like the white morning sunlight seeped into his very being; he was so bared, so susceptible to everything.

At first, he was one with the waves, but soon the world turned into a throbbing rhythm that he somehow was a part of. Somewhere, in the depths of where his stomach used to be, he could feel a mass collecting, like debris falling into a collapsed star. He was gravity, pulling everything around inside him and he was becoming so very full.

Soft voices echoed around him, speaking to him, encouraging him to take more, to become fuller, to expand. And so he did, stepping beyond his boundaries, desperately trembling with the strain of holding it all until all of the world was nothing but shivering white exertion.

And then he broke apart, breaking the world along with him. His world broke into a million white shimmering drops, and rode on the ripples of the tide he himself had created. 

For a while, everything was quiet. For a moment he felt as if his whole life had been a dream, and the last week nothing but a nightmare.

Like an autumn leaf, spent, he slowly felt his consciousness falling back into his own body.

A pet on his cheek, someone calling his name, urging him to breathe.

His next breath felt like pulling iced water into his lungs, and he coughed from the unexpected dryness in his throat. The realization of what had just happened was instant, and somewhere faintly, he could feel shame and irritation claw at the inside of his skin. He ignored it completely.

He opened his eyes and found Zack’s face close to his own. Zack’s eyes were positively beaming, a dazed, sated smile dancing on reddened lips.

“I never thought I’d see you so beautifully lost, Spikey. Thank you.” Zack leaned down and kissed Cloud tenderly.

“And you…” Zack turned to Sephiroth. “I wouldn’t want to be here without you,” Zack half-whispered, making it sound almost like a prayer, before he was pulled into a deep, reverential kiss with the Silver General.

Zack’s words shook Cloud the final distance back to reality. What did they mean? Here with him? Or here in a broader sense? He wanted to ask, but when they were alone. In a way, he found it vaguely hopeful. If Zack regarded Sephiroth so highly, perhaps there was something good in him after all?

Cloud turned his head as much as he could so that he could watch the other two interact. They looked so delicately engrossed with each other. Much sweeter with each other than he’d thought. They both caught him looking, of course, and they looked back at him so intensely that he felt like they were the centre of gravity in the room. Someone took his hand and pulled it up to kiss his fingertips. To his surprise, it was Sephiroth. It was perhaps a slightly possessive gesture, but then Zack took it from Sephiroth’s hand and repeated the action.

“Awfully quiet, aren’t you, pet. Are you satisfied with your awakening?”

Cloud’s eyes darted to Zack, who only raised his eyebrows in silent encouragement Cloud wished he didn’t need.

“Yes… sir. Can you turn me over?” Cloud asked cautiously, not knowing his place in this queer little triad.

“Of course, puppet,” Sephiroth murmured with a small smile on his lips.

Four hands carefully turned him around so that he was lying on top of Sephiroth but now on his stomach instead. His arms were folded on Sephiroth’s chest and his chin propped up on them. It felt like such a childish pose, but Cloud suspected it matched the childish fascination that he now felt blooming on his face. It all seemed even stranger because Sephiroth’s hands were now stroking his hair and upper back, almost in the way one would stroke an actual pet.

Sephiroth’s hair was unusually mussed, and his features looked distinctly softened. Every time Sephiroth looked at Zack, Cloud could notice the depths of those strange pale green eyes flash with adoration. And it seemed to be returned a thousand-fold from Zack. Though Zack had a tendency to adore many, and that could make the nuance his adoration hard to read.

“What’cha thinking, Spike?” Zack nuzzled his nose against Cloud’s cheek.

Cloud only managed to produce a hesitant “Ah”, and before he’d thought it through, he’d turned his face so that his lips could meet Zack’s. Zack was being so careful now, only allowing a ghost of a touch. Cloud had to bite back a whine from the lack of contact. Zack’s face broke out into a smile and he leaned into Cloud’s lips much more generously. It was almost shocking how right it felt. Still, Cloud had a hard time believing that this was all happening.

It felt so new. Everything seemed brand new to Cloud, and some of his previous feeling of the shattered world returned. Perhaps it really had ended, and somehow been put back together? It seemed different.

“Is this really okay, Zack? Is this really what you want?” Cloud mumbled, and lowered his eyes, trying to hide his confusion and insecurities.

“It is for me. I want you in every way, Cloud. We’ll talk about it later, as much as you want, okay?” Zack pressed another cheerful, chaste little kiss on Cloud’s lips.

Cloud dragged his eyes back to Sephiroth. He could feel his pupils dilate so much it almost hurt.

“Ask for what you want, pet. I’m in a generous mood,” Sephiroth said and let one of his hands stray to stroke Zack, causing Zack to visibly shiver in pleasure.

“Can I…? I’d like to… Can I kiss you too… sir?” Cloud couldn’t tear his eyes from Sephiroth’s lips. They weren’t red and swollen like Zack’s, but he wanted them to be. Perhaps the gravitational pull came from Sephiroth’s lips alone? Or was it his voice? Cloud felt a tug towards Sephiroth in the pit of his stomach, as if there was a cord tied around the base of his spine that Sephiroth’s mere existence was yanking.

Sephiroth chuckled softly, pulled Cloud a little higher up on his chest and closed the distance between their lips. The kiss tasted as sweet as the hands felt on his face. He felt like Sephiroth focused him, held him, owned him. 

When Zack cuddled close, he couldn’t help but to wonder if yesterday had been so difficult for him because he’d made it that way himself, or if these two magical mako boys that were now so generously showering him with affection really had been as cruel as he remembered. 

Though he wanted to, he just couldn’t bring himself to dwell on it any longer. Zack’s arms were too familiar, too safe. He found himself resigning to Zack’s warmth and care, no matter what its nature really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to show your appreciation in kudos and comments. I am also interested opinions other than praise bc I overthink everything. Might as well think about interesting fictional stuff. Tbh any distraction from the looming doom of irl is much appreciated!


	12. Don’t let your cat sit on your lap while you pee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I can't even remember what I wrote. O_O
> 
> They have like the day after that nice fuzzy but not-quite-right morning-sex.
> 
> Cate's last comment was like "Ooh, is it power-bottom time now?". So from morning sex to maybe power bottom time. That's how I summarise this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cate has pre-betaed and named this chapter for y'all!!!!! Yay for [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith)!!!!

Once the afterglow of their pleasurable morning had faded some, Cloud asked for a bath. He found getting washed by two bodies and four hands turned out to be even more enjoyable than Sephiroth alone. Afterwards they all had a soak in the tub. There was little talk, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. 

Cloud didn’t know what to say, so he decided to observe, trying to pick up more on what was going on. To his surprise he saw less of Sephiroth’s and Zack’s dynamics than he’d hoped for since they were so attentive to him. Not overbearing, not terribly sexual or expectant. They were just there with languid strokes and soft little kisses, supporting his limp body. 

When it was time for Cloud’s morning dose of the sedative, he’d caught a fleeting glimpse of Zack’s distress over that particularity of their current situation, and Zack had walked out of the bathroom. When the syringe was emptied into his neck, he felt that numbness of his skin returning, making the borders of his body become less distinct.

Cloud was put on the toilet and Sephiroth did what he always did; draped himself seemingly undisturbed in Cloud’s lap.

“Are you having a good morning, pet?” Sephiroth asked, his lips tickling the skin of Cloud’s thighs.

Cloud sighed, but bit back any bile that rose at the question. “I suppose as good as it could get, sir,” he said while trying to relax enough to urinate. They sat in silence for a while. Sephiroth was absentmindedly stroking his ankles and feet.

“Sir, you’re making it hard for me to go.” Cloud’s voice came out a little higher in pitch than he’d intended. Sephiroth’s behaviour was truly distracting, and he didn’t really want to waste time sitting there when Zack was outside. And presumably breakfast, too.

“Oh?” Sephiroth purred and got himself off of Cloud’s lap only to start massaging Cloud’s feet in earnest. “How about now?”

Cloud let his head roll back with something between a sigh and a hum. It felt strange, and wonderful. As if Sephiroth was pumping warm sunlight into his feet, and it was travelling up his legs. When the feeling reached his hips, he felt water draining from his body in a steady pour. One last hearty squeeze to his feet, and then Sephiroth leaned over Cloud’s lap again. Cloud found green eyes glowing with so much interest it sent shivers down his spine.

“Good puppet,” Sephiroth murmured lovingly, intently tilting Cloud’s face down by holding his chin to kiss him, softly, slowly, teasingly, coaxing forth little sighs of pleasure from the helpless blond. He let his hands drag down Cloud’s chest, over the cute little crease where hips met legs and down to Cloud’s knees. Only when Cloud was perfectly moaning and panting did he carefully spread Cloud’s knees.

He let his thumbs knead the top of Cloud’s thighs as he moved his lips down Cloud’s body. He could hear how Cloud’s breath hitched once he realised Sephiroth’s intentions.

“No, no no no, please sir,” Cloud breathed nervously.

But Sephiroth was mercilessly unstoppable. With a sharp tug he pulled Cloud forward on the toilet seat, gently taking Cloud’s half-hard length into the palm of his hands and the tip in his mouth, carefully circling it with his tongue. Cloud whined and winced as if something had stung him, but the sound he produced quickly turned into low groans of reluctant pleasure.

“You’re out of your mind,” Cloud whispered, exasperated but quiet, unwilling to draw Zack’s attention.

Sephiroth looked up with a smirk on his lips, licking them as if he’d just tasted something exquisite. Then he charged Cloud’s lips with his own, this time, lacking all tenderness. The assault on Cloud’s mouth went on until Cloud’s eyes were tearing up and his mouth hung listlessly open.

“Even if I was, puppet, it’s not your place to comment on it. Do you understand?”

“Yes… sir,” Cloud breathed, grasping for air, watching Sephiroth with fear and lust battling in the depths of his pale blue eyes.

“Very well, let’s not keep Zack waiting.” Sephiroth draped himself in his black velvet robe, scooped Cloud up in his arms and walked into the kitchen where Zack was making breakfast in dark green silk pyjama bottoms that clung and hung in all the right places. He must have been instructed on what to make, because every single item that Cloud had listed the day before was set on the table.

“Am I going to be sitting naked at the table… sir?” Cloud asked with clear embarrassment.

“Yes, puppet. Sit and be pretty for us.” Sephiroth kissed his cheek before he sat Cloud down at the kitchen table. Cloud didn’t miss the mischievous and obvious glance Zack shot him. He tried to scoff at it, but it came out as a strange snort instead. Sephiroth managed to bite back his laugh, but Zack was snickering at him, which truly was annoying, as well as disturbing.

When Zack had finished up the cooking, he took his seat next to Cloud. He and Sephiroth took turns feeding him. At first Cloud was extremely flustered, but with time he relaxed. The flavours were too good, and they weren’t teasing him overtly, at least. If they held back their mockery, they certainly didn’t hold back any casually sensual touches. They fed him with their hands, wiping away crumbs from his lips, petting his cheeks when they fed him drinks from their own mouths and rested their hands on his thighs.

By the end of the breakfast Cloud’s brain was a jumbled mess, overflowing and giddy from the constant stimulation. He’d almost forgotten his nakedness and paralysation. Zack’s easy confidence helped a lot. They were hardly as chatty with each other as they were when alone, but Zack’s friendly support wrapped around Cloud like a comforting blanket.

After the late breakfast Cloud was asked how he wanted to pass the day. Anything but the daybed by himself, was the only thing that he was absolutely certain of.

They ended up on the sofa, in front of the TV. He was laid with his head in Sephiroth’s lap, and his legs in Zack’s. The stroked him gently, casually, lazily, exactly like the pet that Sephiroth called him as. Sometimes they snuggled up to each other too, or discussed whatever program was on.

The strangest thing was the bizarre mundanity of it all. Perhaps that’s why he found himself drifting off to sleep. It was the first time he felt easy enough to tap out, truly lowering his guard.

It was a wonderful thing to doze in the arms of The Silver General and his alleged Puppy. At some point Zack must have dozed off too, because Cloud woke up with Zack spooning him from behind and breathing calmly down the back of his neck. It made him feel safe. Zack was his best friend, after all.

The simple bliss of it was almost too much to handle. Gratitude bubbled up in Cloud’s chest with surprising force. He was so focused on trying to decide how to act on his feelings that he wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone what was on the TV that day. Not even if his life depended on it.

A few hours later, Sephiroth excused himself to get lunch started, leaving Cloud and Zack alone on the sofa. The TV in the background lent a banal air to the pair.

“Why are you being so nice to me today?” Cloud murmured sleepily.

“Whaddaya mean, Spike? Aren’t I usually?” Zack kissed the nape of Cloud’s neck, brushing the little downy hairs there. They really did look like the butt of a chocobo, in the cutest way possible.

Cloud thought about last night he’d had Zack’s cock down his throat so deep he was choking. Specifically, the part where Zack hadn’t pushed him off. The memory stabbed him painfully in the chest, and he quickly put it aside, writing it off to Zack’s passion, rather than… something else, potentially more disturbing. 

“Yeah, you, not him! Why’s he being so nice?”

“I know Sephiroth can seem ruthless and cold at times, but usually he only does what he thinks is needed of him.”

“Oh really?” Something cold and unimpressed snuck into Cloud’s voice.

“Yes, really.” 

“So, he does it because he thinks it’s his job?”

“No, Spike. It really _is_ his job.” Zack's voice was heavy and serious. 

Cloud didn’t like it at all. It felt like Zack was taking Sephiroth’s side, but he didn’t see the point in arguing about it, so he didn’t say anything more.

“I’m sorry, Spike. I can’t really say that I understand Shinra’s methods of dealing with their employees. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more.”

Cloud huffed. Zack really could be a gullible idiot sometimes. He’d never seen the downside before, but here it was: clumsy words of comfort that had the opposite effect of their intention. They only made him even more frustrated. One didn’t have to ‘understand’ Shinra’s methods to deem them completely out of bounds for decency.

“C’mon Spike, can’t you keep an open mind… like this morning?” Zack turned to his back and pulled Cloud on top of him, suddenly eyeing him with too much enthusiasm.

“Shut up,” Cloud pouted and refused to look Zack in the eyes.

Zack tried to appease him with little kisses on his cheek, and though they felt every so lovely on his skin, Cloud saw right through Zack’s diversion tactic.

“You were so pretty. I’ve never seen anyone so lovely when lost in pleasure before. I can’t wait to see you like that again.”

“Oh? So, when I get out of here, you’ll be the one to dose me and do whatever?”

Zack pushed Cloud away by his shoulders so that he could properly look in Cloud’s eyes.

“No. I’d never do that.”

“But you want to. You’re thinking about it now.”

“No!” Zack squirmed a little under Cloud, which Cloud found ridiculous. He also noticed that smoulder in Zack’s eyes never went out. Zack was such a bad liar.

“Are we still gonna be friends? Even if I’d choose not to sleep with you again after this?” Cloud asked with a sharp tone that was reserved for telling off children and Zack alone.

“Of course we are!” Zack face set in a deep frown.

Cloud tried his best but couldn’t tell if Zack meant it or not. He stared too long, because Zack ended up shaking his shoulders as if he was trying to shake the truth of his statement into him.

“Of course we are! How can you even ask that?” Zack sounded more convincing the second time. Practice makes perfect, after all.

“I can feel your hard-on, Zack.” Cloud’s mouth settled into a thin, hard line.

“Cloud, wanting to be your friend and wanting to sleep with you aren’t mutually exclusive, you know.”

Cloud kept up his scrutinising. It was as if Zack had an inner thermostat that he could adjust the world temperature with. The room seemed to get colder with Zack’s dejectedness, and Cloud felt a shiver pass through him. He hated not knowing what to believe, and Zack made him feel like that now.

“I… thought you felt the same. Am I wrong?” Zack’s deep blue eyes were wide and glistening.

Cloud found it painful to admit, but hurting Zack was painful too, so he answered truthfully, “No.”

“Then kiss me, Spike.” Zack mumbled, making sad puppy eyes.

Cloud huffed again but didn’t turn away when Zack reached for his lips. He didn’t want to fight with Zack. Didn’t want to risk losing him. Most of all, he absolutely didn’t want to listen to his anger that whispered from the marrow of his bones that he might have lost Zack already.

…

The rest of the day passed calmly, and Zack left after dinner. Cloud was again left with his General-turned-caretaker for the evening routine. He was tucked into bed rather early and felt a twang in this chest at the possibility of being left alone before falling asleep.

“Are you coming to bed too, sir?” Cloud mumbled, embarrassed to be so childishly needy.

“I’m going to finish up some work, pet.” Sephiroth replied sweetly and tucked the blanket around Cloud’s naked body.

“Don’t. Please don’t leave me alone, sir.” Cloud wished he could move his arms, reach out to Sephiroth, touch his arm or hand or hold on to him by his hair.

“Oh? Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m begging you. Please, sir.” It was humiliating but being left with his thoughts alone seemed so much worse, so Cloud forced himself to beg. 

The morning had felt so wonderful, and when Zack left the apartment had felt so quiet, it was like his skin had disappeared. Suddenly he felt too raw. He felt as if the world would grind his meat from him if he was left alone, without someone to take care of him.

“Will you entertain me if I stay, pet?”

Cloud replied too fast, too easily. “Yes, sir.” He didn’t even care in what way entertainment was asked from him.

“Alright, pet.” Sephiroth shed his black velvet robe with quick, practiced motions and let it drop on the floor before he crawled into bed, yanking the tucked blanket from Cloud with some dramatic flair.

“Tell me what to do, pet, but make it interesting, or I’ll leave.” He murmured, and snuck his arm around Cloud’s chest, bringing their bodies close together.

“Kiss me, sir,” Cloud croaked with a strained blend of misery and thankfulness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos always brighten up my otherwise pretty questionable days in the eternally shit year of 2020. <3


	13. Is He Just Signing Fan-Mail?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud feels needy and heartbroken after his talk with Zack. He asks for comfort from the only one who's near enough to provide it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been named by the magnificent baby elder gay [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).

Cloud woke up before Sephiroth yet again, with that unearthly beauty nestled around his limp body. It was certainly a very peculiar and unexpected form of torture to be so close to something he coveted so much but having forever out of his reach. Not because of the lack of physical closeness, but because of his artificially induced inability to reach for it, and of course that military obedience Sephiroth tried so hard to draw forth from him.

It made him feel more lonely than ‘taken care of’ which Sephiroth had given as the point of this special training programme. Though he’d been allowed to ‘decide’ how yesterday evening was spent, he couldn’t shed the feeling that something was wrong with the world ever since Zack had left. He felt like a layer of his own skin was gone. He couldn’t tell if it was from missing Zack, or if he was missing the idea of who he thought Zack was before these last few days.

“Puppet?” Sephiroth murmured dreamily and hugged himself closer to Cloud’s body. The surprise of the movement startled Cloud and a soft whimper escaped him. It wasn’t until then he realised he’d been crying.

“Ssh, puppets don’t have feelings like that,” Sephiroth spoke softly, but with a whisper of amusement mingling in his voice. He eased himself up to face the blond who was now shivering with pathetic little sobs. Fascinated as always with the loudness and clarity of Cloud’s feelings, he drank in the sight, and could only bring himself to half-heartedly wipe away those tears. They were much too beautiful to do away with quickly. To see them was a gift that he treasured dearly.

“What’s wrong, pet? How can you be crying so early in the day?” He kissed Cloud’s tear-streaked cheeks and tucked the blanket closer around them, trying to create at least the illusion of safety.

Cloud lifted his eyes to Sephiroth as if he didn’t know how to answer that question. And he truly didn’t. All he knew was that some invisible weight having to do with Zack was threatening to suffocate him.

“Please don’t leave me alone today, sir. Please,” Cloud snivelled and gave up on being brave for the day. 

“Would you behave?” Sephiroth petted and kissed Cloud’s delicate throat, tracing lines down his chest with his mouth.

“Please, anything… Could you please hold me, sir?” Cloud squeaked and winced at being so weak and pathetic in front of the gorgeous creature who -for all intents and purposes- owned him. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hide himself from the world that seemed so much grimmer since he’d come to stay with his Silver General.

“Oh, pet,” Sephiroth purred and climbed on top of Cloud to drape himself heavily over his unnaturally still body, kissing along Cloud’s jaw.

“Why are you crying? Do you miss Zack? I could ask him to come back, you know. Would you like to watch him play fetch?”

Cloud shook his head weakly and a few louder sobs followed.

“Ssh, pet.” Sephiroth wiped the tears from Cloud’s face with the pads of his thumbs. “You’ll be alright. I’ll take care of you,” Sephiroth’s voice had lost its taunting quality, leaving only something caring and oddly reassuring. It was the only thing within Cloud’s reach to hold on to, so he did.

“Tighter. Hold me tighter, please,” Cloud begged, burying his face in the cascade of silver hair. He breathed a sigh of relief when Sephiroth obliged him. The strong arms around him squeezed the air out of his lungs in a way that felt soothing, and Sephiroth’s weight was perfectly comforting, almost intoxicating.

Cloud focused on the sharply defined contrast of Sephiroth’s firm muscles to the softness of his skin. He let his General’s warmth seep into him, wanting it to fill that hole in his heart that was now oozing foul liquids into his blood because of Zack.

It took some time, but Sephiroth patiently smoothed the sharpness from his pain, transforming it into something else— a resigned kind of pleasure that he was already too tired to fight. 

He gave in to the temptation of handing over all semblance of control to Sephiroth for the morning routine, keeping his eyes firmly shut to the syringe that would render him immobile for yet another day. Instead of forcing him to watch as usual, Sephiroth kissed his eyelids ever so softly. He was then dressed in a black slipover dress that hugged his curves and fell in plentiful, heavy folds from his hips. The fabric felt like cool water running over his skin, and Sephiroth hummed appreciatively when he ran his hands over Cloud’s now covered body.

“You’re perfect, puppet. Just perfect,” Sephiroth murmured and brought his lips to Cloud’s blushing cheeks. Instead of turning away sourly as he usually did during the morning routine, Cloud turned his head to meet the gesture, eyes faintly glowing in a cautious, silent ask for more.

“Oh puppet,” Sephiroth hummed contentedly before he folded Cloud into his arms and took those perfect lips between his own.

…

After breakfast Cloud wasn’t left on the daybed as before. Instead he was gently carried into a study, a room new to Cloud. He was deposited on the large desk and leaned back against the wall behind it. Sephiroth posed him carefully, legs straight forward, hands tucked to the sides of his thighs. He received a light-hearted ruffle of his hair, almost befitting of a pet. Cloud’s eyes narrowed, then widened in resignation, leaning into the touch as much as he could, hating himself for not wanting to lose it. Sephiroth sat down in the office chair to his left, in front of a large pile of paper and took an expensive-looking pen in his hand.

“I expect you to be quiet, pet.” Sephiroth murmured while absentmindedly stroking over Cloud’s bare feet, which were sticking out over the edge of the desk.

The room was dark and cosy, although a little imposing. The walls were lined from floor to ceiling with books, and plentiful soft sources of light softly lit the room. It seemed darker than Cloud would have expected in a study, but he guessed that didn’t matter with Sephiroth’s enhancements. He wondered what that was like, and what all the books were about. 

The books seemed to absorb every sound in the room, the smell of old paper familiar and nostalgic. It brought him back to the little antique bookshop they’d had in Nibelheim, probably the same size as the study. He’d liked to go in there as a child to hide from the other kids, though he wasn’t that much of a reader. He just liked the atmosphere.

He had no idea how much time had passed before Sephiroth’s hand came to rest on his thigh, almost casually. It felt possessive in a way, and he could feel his heartbeat picking up speed. If Sephiroth had noticed, he didn’t show any sign of it. How could such a small gesture feel so good? He welcomed the distraction, although to an extent that almost startled himself. But any distraction was better than the festering hole in his heart.

It didn’t take long before Cloud was bored out of his mind, the only thing of interest being the hand on his thigh, along with sensations of the hard desk against his bum and the slight, chilly draft in the room that was starting to get uncomfortable. He tried to endure it, but there came a point where he couldn’t bear it any longer.

“Sir? Sir… I’m… uncomfortable.” Cloud asked carefully, in the least intrusive way he could muster.

Sephiroth finished another signature, moved it to what Cloud presumed was the ‘done’-pile, put his pen down and looked up at Cloud with his head cocked, a slight look of amusement curving his lips.

“Oh?” Sephiroth rolled his chair so that he could comfortably grab Cloud’s feet and squeezed to get some blood in them. His hands were warm and soft against Cloud’s bare skin, and it wasn’t until then that he noticed how very stifled his blood flow had been from sitting on the hard surface. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back with a soft sigh at the touch.

He only opened them again when he heard the wheels of Sephiroth’s chair roll on the floor. His heart fell abruptly at the lost comfort of Sephiroth’s hands. Sephiroth was already back to reading from the tall stack. Cloud’s brow frowned deeply, trying to decide if he dared to press the issue. But the cold wood biting into his backside made the decision fairly easy.

“Sir? The desk is hard to sit on…” Cloud said, trying to keep all hints of smugness out of his voice. He wanted those hands back on him. On his feet, on his legs, on his face, everywhere.

Sephiroth looked up from his work with a calculating look. After a moment’s contemplation, he eased his hand under Cloud’s skirt and with a smooth movement his hand was slotted under Cloud’s backside. The gesture had Cloud gasping and covered in goosebumps, and he felt a blush like warm water creeping down his neck and chest. It seemed to flow into his lower belly, where a dull but noticeable throb had started.

“Sir, your hand? Isn’t it uncomfortable?” Cloud mumbled, feeling the instinct to squirm rushing out to muscles but getting no response. His remark had Sephiroth in a rare outburst of laughter. He didn’t dignify the question with a reply, but rather a demonstration. With ease he lifted Cloud an inch from the table, balancing him perfectly as if he was made out of air. Cloud blinked in marvel, but Sephiroth returned to his work as if it was nothing.

Time stretched until it tried Cloud’s patience further, and so did Sephiroth. The hand under him moved him around carefully yet absentmindedly, like a sportsman would handle a ball. Sephiroth’s thumb would occasionally slide against his sensitive parts, for a while Cloud thought perhaps it wasn’t deliberate, but when he felt a slender finger brushing back and forth against his entrance he reconsidered. His own breaths turned rugged and grated around in his own head, drowning out the rest of the world. 

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, letting his mind wander to what he and Sephiroth would do if they were lovers. Pause his work and take him on the desk while his hands were nestled in those long silver tresses. Kiss him, go down on him, treasure him, drown him in attention. He knew the fantasy would only cause him harm, but his mind refused to go anywhere else.

Having nothing else to focus on, he could feel Sephiroth’s touches acutely. Sephiroth’s thumb stroking over his tender skin became his whole world. His breaths were ringing so loudly in his head he didn’t even notice the soft hums escaping him. Only when Sephiroth suddenly parted his thighs and ran the cold metal of his pen up the inside of his thigh did he hear his own soft moan. It sounded inviting, almost pleading, and he snapped his jaw shut in surprise. His eyes jerked open to meet Sephiroth’s, which were intense and serious, as usual.

Without a word Sephiroth withdrew his hand and walked out of the room, leaving Cloud to steep in his confusion. He came back with long strides. Cloud pulled air into his lungs to say something, but before he had a chance to, Sephiroth’s arm was around him, dragging him to sit up at the short end of the desk.

“Puppet, I told you to be quiet.” Sephiroth bent forward and murmured into Cloud’s ear. Sephiroth’s breath and voice washed over him, causing another wave of goosebumps to cover his entire body.

“I’m sorry,” Cloud whispered and pressed his face into Sephiroth’s neck, fighting himself to taste the skin there, worrying to the point of being painful. He didn’t want to be left alone. Anything but that. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be better,” he mumbled, surprising himself with the desperation in his own voice.

“You will,” Sephiroth agreed in a suggestive tone that tied Cloud’s stomach to knots.

Sephiroth’s hands raked up Cloud’s body, holding something that Cloud couldn’t see. Cloud could feel that something catch the fabric of the slip, but he didn’t care. He just kept his face turned to Sephiroth in a wordless plea. Anything. Today he would take anything but loneliness willingly. It scared him to know perhaps that had been Sephiroth’s intention all along. It still didn’t change his mind.

His face was caught in Sephiroth’s hands, Sephiroth bent down to take his mouth and he welcomed it with immediate surrender. The kiss was an agonizing tease, never quite enough to sate Cloud’s need for closeness and validation, for forgiveness. It tasted more like a display of power than comfort. It made him moan softly into Sephiroth's mouth, hoping for more than just the fleeting taste of Sephiroth’s tongue. It made him acutely aware of his own shameful neediness.

When Sephiroth pulled away he whimpered softly, but the sounds were quickly muffled as Sephiroth slipped something over and into his mouth. The taste of rubber was terrible compared to the heavenly taste of Sephiroth’s tongue, and Cloud moaned and shook his head weakly in protest. He could feel clasps being fastened behind his head, and he watched the delight growing on Sephiroth’s face.

“You have an awful tendency to forget your place, don’t you, puppet? Or is it delightful?” Sephiroth ran his fingers along the leather strap, slipping them under the edge to check the tightness. He lifted his hand to show off the pump that connected to the gag and squeezed it, starting to fill the balloon-like mouthpiece that would soon incapacitate Cloud’s mouth. Cloud’s muffled protests increased but Sephiroth hushed him with soft caresses and little, meaningless words. With every squeeze of the pump the sounds Cloud could make were lessened, and tears started streaming down his face.

“Oh puppet, if you cry, how will you breathe?” Sephiroth chuckled and ran his hands through golden spikes. He parted Cloud’s legs in order to step close enough to press Cloud’s body against his own. He stayed there, tirelessly soothing Cloud until his whimpers stopped. When they’d finally subsided, he bent down and levelled his face with Cloud’s again.

“I won’t leave you today, puppet, just like you asked. Remember, it’s not my job to harm you. I just want you quiet. Do you understand?” Sephiroth stroked Cloud’s cheek, sending a shiver of pleasure running down his spine at the feeling of the inflated mouthpiece through Cloud’s thin, stretched out flesh.

Cloud nodded, weak and wide-eyed; his eyelids red with irritation from the tears he’d just spilled. They made his blue eyes seem even bluer, Sephiroth noted in deep appreciation of his sweet, breakable little puppet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause of updates. Life's been busy. ;_;


	14. See? Enjoyment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seph keeps Cloud around on his workdesk for some lovely little mini-breaks. Gagged. He keeps Cloud around GAGGED on his desk for some lovely little breaks that might have grown a bit out of proportion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith), the strawberry knight, protector of the Oxford Commas, have dubbed this chapter with a title. Alas, she has not yet betaed it. It might happen.

“I’ll lay you down on the desk now, it’ll be kinder on your back,” Sephiroth explained with a soft hum. It sounded dangerously close to kindness. Cloud nodded meekly, reminding himself that it wasn’t ‘kind’ to keep him paralysed like this. The papers were shuffled around to allow for more space around him. His skimpy little slip was unceremoniously pulled off and his brow kissed before he was scooped up, laid down on the desk at an angle, a cushion placed under his head.

One of his legs was bent and angled out, the other allowed to dangle off the short end. It left him on display to where Sephiroth settled back to resume his work. He shook his head in protest and a pleading keen sounded from behind the gag.

Sephiroth stood up again, and leaned over Cloud’s face, caressing it, tapping his finger on top of the gag. “I enjoy my work as I please, puppet. Did you expect anything else?”

Sephiroth let his hands glide over Cloud’s body, rousing it, claiming it with simple caresses of his palms. He carefully brushed over Cloud’s pink nipples, down over his stomach and hips, to the stretched-out skin of his now-exposed private parts. The little shivers and the immediate flushing of Cloud’s skin were such a delightful response. It awakened every instinct he had to tease and wreck that innocence. Cloud had already changed so much since that first day, but he was still every bit as enjoyable. Still a challenge.

He walked around the desk, dragging his hand along Cloud’s body until he reached the foot that dangled over the edge. He grabbed it and placed it over the strain in his pants. He’d never understood the ‘complaints’ of restricting clothing. He always found the sensation of them most pleasurable. Of course, Cloud’s foot was even more so.

The look caused in Cloud’s eyes was a mix of surprise, disgust and arousal. If he would have known how delightful it would be to train this little puppet, he would have paid Cloud’s weight in gold for it. Of course, that wasn’t how things worked. Still… He sighed softly and pressed Cloud’s foot harder into himself.

“See? Enjoyment,” he murmured before placing Cloud’s leg back over the edge of the desk. When he’d made his point, he sat down and resumed with his papers, one hand kept reserved for his pet. 

Cloud’s own heartbeat hammered against the inside of his skull. It felt like Sephiroth was corrupting his blood. From his foot it spread, quickened. He couldn’t imagine it being red anymore inside his veins. It was too warm and too… filthy. He wasn’t even sure that it was his anymore.

Whatever sounds that Cloud could still produce quickly lost any hint of discomfort. It wasn’t long before Sephiroth’s hand had reached his upper, inner thighs, carefully brushing the skin where legs met hips, ghosting along his hardness, his balls, skimming over his entrance, coaxing a stream of muffled whimpers behind the gag. The sounds of turning papers and the rhythmical scratching of the pen against them never stopped.

Cloud’s breathing became strained in his arousal. When Sephiroth finally slipped a slickened finger inside him, he felt the desk underneath him sway unsteadily. His body felt wonderfully heavy, and every hint of coldness vanishing. In an unexpected way, he found pleasure in not having to make an effort to be quiet.

Though his hums were muted and wordless, he felt the intent in them to be clearer than ever: wanting. He wished the gag was some part of Sephiroth, any part, filling him, allowing him to taste all the way down his tongue and to the back of his throat. He wished Sephiroth would fill him until he burst. With a sob he remembered that Sephiroth had told him he’d feel exactly that way. It was devastating to finally realise that he had been right.

The longer the lazy touches went on, the more Cloud could distinguish his own wish to be used, desecrated, even destroyed. It would be better than this endless battle with shame, and the looming sadness that Zack had caused him. And he wished it all to be at Sephiroth’s beautiful hands.

The realisation brought an odd sense of relief with it, but it was hardly without pain. It wasn’t comfortable to learn this about himself; that he wasn’t so upstanding and ‘normal’ in the way he’d always assumed. That he felt so little of himself that he could find relief and pleasure in this kind of twisted treatment. That his will had been so easy to break. Thick tears started to stream down his face and breathing became more difficult.

“Puppet, ever so emotional…” Sephiroth murmured. “Do you really have so little self-preservation? What kind of soldier are you?” 

Cloud heard the pen being put down and papers shifted. A moment of silence followed, and then he was pulled down into Sephiroth’s lap, leaned back so that the desk bit into his back. Strong hands snuck under his backside, grinding him against Sephiroth’s body.

“What are you thinking of, puppet? What’s making you cry?”

Cloud shook his head in resignation and let it drop back, exposing his throat in an attempt for diversion. It wasn’t as if he could reply anyway. Just another part of the farce.

At first, he thought that Sephiroth would kiss him. He could feel Sephiroth’s cool hair tickling him, and then teeth sinking into his skin at the side of his neck, slowly increasing their pressure. Sephiroth ground and crushed the tendons of his neck, tearing a hum, then a moan, and then what surely would have been a scream but was now a garbled mess out of him.

Then he could feel Sephiroth’s tongue licking the bite, making the pain sink into his blood, infecting it further with darkness. It wasn’t his first choice of attention, but at least they were closer. To be the sole focus of Sephiroth’s attention was an improvement too. The bite left him panting. Snot and tears streamed down his face, and they weren’t wiped away. Just left there to flaunt his weakness.

Sephiroth moved him so that he could mirror the bite on the other side of his neck, this time Sephiroth’s hand found his throbbing erection, caressing it slowly, letting the intensity grow with the bite. Each stroke caused overbearing, spiking arousal that made his body cramp up to its limit. Pain and pleasure intermingled, quickly becoming inseparable, making him cry out helplessly behind the gag.

”Oh, puppet,” Sephiroth sighed contentedly, leaning back to see Cloud’s face properly again. He shifted a little to undo the fly of his trousers and push them open. Cloud could feel arousal spear through him at the sight. At Sephiroth’s overbearing attention. At being approved, even though he must have been such a pathetic sight, all tears and snot. At the perfect body so close to him, forbidden, clad in his standard custom uniform. His General.

Sephiroth took Cloud’s hand and trailed it down his own body, landing on his own arousal. Cloud moaned a filthy, broken plea.

“I think you want this,” Sephiroth stated. It wasn’t a question.

Cloud couldn’t deny it. His head swam with lust, his hand around Sephiroth’s wonderfully leaking length, high with the knowledge that he was the cause of it. A vicious, knowing smile spread on Sephiroth’s face as he gave a few rough tugs to Cloud’s cock, drawing more delicious, broken sounds.

“Show me how loud you can be, puppet.” Sephiroth whispered in Cloud’s ear and nipped softly at the bruised skin on Cloud’s neck.

Without any warning, Cloud was leaned forward against Sephiroth’s chest and slightly lifted, allowing for two fingers to be roughly shoved into his entrance. Cloud moaned loudly in surprise, tears once again flooding his vision, though from pain or relief he wasn’t sure. Little fireworks were going off on the backs of his eyelids and all over his skin, travelling all the way up his spine and across his scalp. 

He wanted it then, whatever Sephiroth would give him. He wished he could say Sephiroth’s name, he tried to bite down on the balloon-like mouthpiece confining his tongue, but it only made his jaw ache in protest.

The fingers didn’t stay in him for long, leaving him whimpering and uncomfortably empty. Before he’d had time to process anything, he felt Sephiroth’s tip against his entrance, and then he was roughly shoved down on top of it, ensuing another stifled scream as he was gloriously filled, albeit too quickly and too roughly.

To his surprise, Sephiroth didn’t move him anymore after that, and that immediately caused conflicting feelings. His chest was left crushed against Sephiroth’s and that dark, soft seductive voice spoke to him while his arms were lifted and draped around Sephiroth’s neck.

“You’re so deliciously warm and tight around me, puppet. Keep me happy and perhaps I’ll reward you.”

Sephiroth must have anticipated that Cloud had no idea what he meant, so to demonstrate, a finger found its way to trace Cloud’s painfully stretched-out entrance, making it clench up in protest. “Just like that, puppet.”

To Cloud’s dismay, Sephiroth went back to his papers. He moaned in protest, but it only got him a scoff and a threatening nip to his already-sore neck. Not knowing what else to do, Cloud reached inwardly for his muscles, trying to find them in the midst of his uproaring body. It took him some time, but when he did, he received encouragement in the form of a generous stroke across his back, or a slow roll of Sephiroth’s hips, sometimes even verbal encouragement, that always went straight to his black, rushing blood that filled or emptied muscles that he had absolutely no control over.

It was difficult to keep track of time, and though his body couldn’t do much, his mind got tired from the effort of trying. Now and then Sephiroth would give a nip to his neck to draw attention to his ‘chore.’ The whole situation was torturous on so many different levels.

Still, Sephiroth’s body pressed against him was nothing short of exquisite. If he focused solely on the sensations of his body, he found everything else efficiently drowned out. To feel every subtle movement Sephiroth made transferred to him was amazing. He had time to savour their connection. It made him feel safe and that kept him in pleasure more than anything else that was going on.

Cloud assumed hours had passed by the time his jaw really started to bother him. He made sure to pick up his efforts of clenching down around Sephiroth as a way to appease him for the attention he would have to call for. He nuzzled his face into Sephiroth’s neck with soft, pleading hums. At first, Sephiroth ignored him, but as Zack had said, perhaps he wasn’t a monster after all. Sephiroth pushed the chair away from the desk to allow for some breathing room between them.

“Getting sore, puppet?” Sephiroth said with his feline, green eyes dilating horizontally, fixating on Cloud.

Cloud nodded carefully, apprehensive of what would happen next.

“I’ll take it out if you come for me.” Cloud’s brows knitted at the non-question.

Sephiroth moved the papers out of the way, stood up and laid Cloud in front of him on the desk. Without embellishment, he pulled out and replaced his warm flesh with his fingers instead. They felt cold and hard in comparison.

Unhurriedly, Sephiroth began to rub that place inside him that made heat radiate in beams from his lower stomach while attentively keeping his high-handed gaze heavy upon him. He could almost feel it pinning him down on the desk. He had no idea when or from where Sephiroth had found lube, but now the slow pumping of his fingers created sloshy sounds that jarred his ears, reminding him of his degrading disposition and the obscenity of what was being done to him.

He could feel his throbbing cock leaking a cool puddle onto his stomach. Sometimes Sephiroth’s eyes would turn distressingly ravenous, wandering down to it, but he wouldn’t touch it. His arousal quickly turned to torment and he tried to seek charity from his Silver General by making the softest, most humble hums the gag allowed him, but all he was given was another finger and more intense prodding of his insides.

At first, the sensation was mostly uncomfortable. Then it made him think that he would have to relieve himself. He thrust his head nervously from side to side, moaning in distress.

“Sssh, puppet. Just relax. It’ll be fine. It’ll pass.” Sephiroth mumbled softly as he lifted one of Cloud’s legs onto his shoulder to kiss it and nuzzle into it. Cloud stilled and noticeably softened around him, just as easily as if he’d cast a magic spell. He was so easy to manipulate. Almost as responsive as pulling the strings of a real puppet.

“That’s it, puppet. Just relax. Feel me reaching inside you. Isn’t it lovely?” He dug his fingers further into Cloud’s warm insides and dragged his fingers along the stretched-out folds of the front wall, curling them into Cloud’s prostate with clear intent. He had to bite back a chuckle as Cloud threw his head back with a loud moan. So easy.

“Invite me in, puppet. Let me invade you. Be good and take all that I give you.”

With gentle firmness Sephiroth spread his three fingers inside Cloud, stretching to give him a glimpse of that hidden, deliciously pink flesh, making the blond whine oh so prettily. He could feel Cloud’s gland filling with release under his fingers, and he gently slipped his free hand under Cloud’s lower back, carefully lifting, tilting Cloud’s hips and giving more space for some much-needed deeper breaths.

Cloud desperately filled his burning lungs to provide his slowly tensing up body with air. Everything was gone except Sephiroth’s touch and his voice washing over him, pouring black waves of pleasure into him. Once he stopped fighting them, he found he could ride them easily. Sephiroth guided him perfectly. 

It felt so good that it was almost painful, the way his muscles closed around that glorious intrusion until it hardly felt like an intrusion anymore; more like a part of him. Though he felt so full, he was hardly sated, and he moaned, hoping that Sephiroth would understand, would give him what he needed.

“Good puppet. Do you want more? Do you want me to fill you until you split open for me?”

Cloud moaned his agreement, turning even louder when he felt another finger force his entrance. 

“You’re being so good, pet. Will you come for me?” Sephiroth sank lower to suck the milky skin of Cloud’s inner thigh while he pushed into Cloud’s sweet node of pleasure, following the ramping up tension of his body. 

Cloud’s eyelashes were fluttering over glazed blue eyes that had long since lost their focus, and Cloud’s sputter of moans seemed to be in genuine abandon. The rapid fall and rise of Cloud’s chest could be easily taken for hyperventilation, but Sephiroth could clearly feel how the muscles in his body were using all that air. 

He found the sweetest thing of Cloud’s pleasure to be the way his stomach shivered. It let him imagine his hand so far and so fully inside Cloud that it could be seen through the skin. It led him to take Cloud’s hand in his and place it on Cloud’s belly, pushing down.

“Feel me, pet.” He let his fingers hammer mercilessly into Cloud’s prostate, imagining sloshing around all of Cloud’s pleasure, pumping it into the tip of every tiny artery. Cloud’s breathing became hitched and sporadic, but he didn’t relent. He felt Cloud’s soft, wet warmth squeezing around his hand in protest, as if trying to slow him down.

“Come for me, pet. Come now.”

Black spots and white flashes were dancing in Cloud’s field of vision before Sephiroth’s command entered him through the skin, rode his black, boiling blood, and forced his body to shatter with a million shudders. He held on too tight to that intruding part of himself which thrust so hard into him it pushed something else out to make room for it. 

He fought the rubber in his mouth to scream, to let some of the tension out. At first, he couldn’t, but then something shook his head. The mouthpiece was deflated and yanked out, replaced by something infinitely warmer, sweeter. Something he wanted with every cell in his body. His jaw ached, but it didn’t detract at all from his perfect bliss.

“Well done, pet. You did so well.” Sephiroth mumbled between peppering the panting Cloud’s face with kisses and combing through his hair, his fingers still buried deep inside that infinite warmth, stroking his beautiful pet through the aftershocks.

Cloud was still shivering and jolting when he managed to focus his eyes and dryly manage to say, “Do you.”

“Puppet?” Sephiroth’s eyebrows arched elegantly in mild surprise.

“Put my hand on you. Let me feel you too, please sir.” Though it was technically a plea, Cloud’s voice was more commanding than Sephiroth expected. Apparently, the gag had done nothing to humble his pet, but he didn’t mind. It only gave him an excuse to play more roughly.

“Hmph, so greedy, my darling little puppet,” Sephiroth murmured, but didn’t object to Cloud’s request. 

He started to slip his hand out of Cloud, but Cloud immediately protested. “Please sir, don’t. I… I like how it feels.”

“Is that so?” Sephiroth hummed with amusement. He took Cloud’s hand in his free one, kissed the palm and placed it firmly around his erection. He leaned over the desk to rub himself in the white puddles shot across Cloud’s chest. He experimentally slid his fingers in and out of Cloud’s wide stretched hole, tearing a brilliant sounding but crackling moan from the blond.

“Where do you want me to come, puppet?” Sephiroth slid his hand up and down himself with Cloud’s hand in his, enjoying Cloud’s face filling with seemingly insatiable lust.

“Anywhere,” Cloud whispered, his eyes following Sephiroth’s hand up and down that glorious length.

“Should I come over your chest and face?”

“If you’d like, sir.” Cloud’s words trailed off into a whine as the fingers inside him almost gave him more than he could handle, sending sparks of pain and pleasure up his spine.

“Or would you like it in your mouth, pet?” Sephiroth stepped closer, placing himself just before Cloud’s face.

Instead of answering, Cloud just turned his head and let his mouth fall open in perfect docility.

“Oh pet,” Sephiroth purred, taking the invitation and letting his tip rest against Cloud’s lips. The next moment he was enjoying the feeling of Cloud’s tongue, tentatively licking it. The satisfaction of Cloud finally reaching for him in such blatant display of submission was nothing short of sublime, and he revelled in it, making Cloud strain his neck and stretch his tongue out for contact.

In a snap decision he freed his hands to roll Cloud to the side on the table, take his head between his hands and shove himself deep down that throat, making the blond gag and retch beautifully around him. He let the tip of his cock kiss the back of Cloud’s throat over and over again, picturing Cloud’s insides coated in the iridescent white liquid. He’d barely noticed how incredibly turned on he’d become by the vision of his little pet, and now it overcame him with a vengeance. It didn’t take long before he was ready.

He pulled out and let Cloud cough for a short moment, enjoying the sight of those pink glistening lips and the fresh tears from the strain now streaming down rosy cheeks.

“Do you still want it, pet?” He purred in a husky voice, stroking himself patiently against Cloud’s face, enjoying the fact he was on the precipice of release, knowing that it was his any second he wanted it.

Cloud blinked away the last of his tears furiously, making a visible effort to collect himself. He simply lay his head down on the side and let his mouth fall open, his eyes fearlessly meeting his general’s.

“Good. Good pet. Open wide, don’t swallow. Keep it in your mouth.”

Sephiroth felt a chill travel down his spine when Cloud opened his mouth wider. He guided his hardness inside, along with two of his fingers that he used to push his sensitive head carefully against the different surfaces of Cloud’s mouth; his teeth, the insides of his pretty cheeks, his tongue, along his soft palate. All the while, those pale blue eyes rested on him.

He let the tip rest against Cloud’s bottom lip and finally stroked himself to completion, shooting himself into Cloud’s mouth with a pleased sigh. Cloud merely blinked when the pearly white liquid sprayed the inside of his mouth. He came plentifully, filling what he could at the awkward angle, and then he harshly rolled Cloud to his back so he could shoot the last of himself on Cloud’s chest, letting his liquid join Cloud’s own.

He bent down over Cloud and placed his lips on Cloud’s to ravish that lovely, sullied mouth which looked so tempting in the midst of all that quickly fading innocence. He fucked Cloud’s mouth with his tongue until Cloud lost his focus and started coughing, the liquid clearly sliding down his throat despite his efforts.

“Good boy. You can swallow now,” Sephiroth mumbled, his voice sounding hoarse while he let his fingertips play and smear around the thick white stains all over Cloud, enjoying the slipperiness on Cloud’s body. 

Cloud was back to a hazy state of shallow breaths and glazed over, slow blinking. It was too adorable to resist taking the blonde in his hand to stroke him once more.

“Does it feel good, being all slippery?” Before Cloud had a chance to answer, he’d scooped up their mixed release and slid his fingers into Cloud’s mouth, lining the membranes again. With a moan, Cloud eagerly started licking his fingers.

“Would you like to know what it tastes like for me?” Sephiroth asked softly.

Cloud’s eyes slowly opened, glowing with curiosity. He nodded his head just enough to indicate he was listening.

“Marzipan,” Sephiroth chuckled. “Isn’t it strange that it works on myself too?”

He slipped his hand out and moved around the table to place himself between Cloud’s legs. He dragged his hand through their release, drawing it all the way to that little pink warmth and pushing inside, carefully this time, aiming only to reward his little puppet.

“Let me hear you, pet. Let me know how much you feel.”

Cloud quickly lost all concept of what was going on, Sephiroth’s hand on him and in him was too much. He was still sensitive from before, but he was being handled ever so carefully. With no fuss he was brought to a screaming release that felt so different now that nothing was bottled up. 

He wasn’t even aware that he’d spilled Sephiroth’s name over his lips with his first breath coming down from his high. Falling down might have been a more accurate way to describe it. And Sephiroth was right there to catch him.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to my lovely beta reader, who requested the gag. If you liked it, thank her too! She makes my writing so much better, and she makes ME better too. I'm so lucky to have such a solid partner in the crime of writing fantastical fictional smut. xD <3 xD
> 
> And pls distract me from the insane reality of irl in the comment section. I enjoy reading my comments so, over and over.


	15. And That, Apparently, Was His Life Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud asks for negotiating the terms of his stay with Seph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been 99% betaed by the amazing Cate Sith, who is also lovingly naming the chapters.

The evening was as uneventful as it ever got. Cloud still loathed the evening routine as he was given his enema, but he just let his mind shut down as much as possible. He’d learned not to speak or say anything, absolutely asking no questions to try to avoid Sephiroth’s overbearing and unwelcome attention when he was put on the toilet.

This time it passed without ‘incident’ and then he was back in Sephiroth’s lap in the generous bathtub. It was a mercy that he always got cleaned up after the toilet routine. Those beautiful hands rubbing fragrant soap all over his body felt almost unbearably good.

For the first time, he didn’t mind when Sephiroth slipped a soapy finger inside him. It only made him vividly remember their time on the desk, and he couldn’t swallow the blissful sigh that poured over his lips. Or perhaps he didn’t want to. It wasn’t as appealing, now knowing that Sephiroth could take even his voice from him. Perhaps it had made him value it more.

“Mmmh, puppet, such a lovely sound you’re making,” Sephiroth said with his low and smooth voice sounding perfectly pleased. He playfully kissed the spots on Cloud’s neck he’d bruised earlier with bites. He had expected Cloud to whine, but instead the blond’s sigh just turned into a low groan.

“Puppet?” Sephiroth purred and dropped the soap to reach between Cloud’s legs to confirm that he wasn’t reading the situation wrong. He had to laugh when he found his puppet almost fully hardened already, and because it amused him, he gave it a few appreciative strokes.

“Isn’t it sore, puppet?” he mumbled and sucked the thin skin a little bit harder, drawing another hoarse groan from the frail little body, feeling Cloud’s cock eagerly buck into his hand. A not entirely unexpected turn of events. He’d found most people had a masochistic streak if it was cultivated. With Cloud, though, there had been moments where he’d doubted it had been there. Now that he’d found it, he was absolutely delighted. It gave him that much more room for play and punishment.

“It’s sore sir…” Cloud said quietly, his voice trailing off as if he had more to say.

“But?” Another kiss, another sweet gasp.

“You made it like that, sir.”

“That’s right, puppet. I gave you your bruises.” Sephiroth hummed adoringly into Cloud’s ear, feeling Cloud shiver delightfully against him from his words.

“Sir?”

“Hmm?”

“Could you turn me around? I want to face you, please.”

“Certainly, puppet.” Sephiroth carefully turned Cloud around, expecting to find him pleasure dazed and pliable, but instead he was met with those pretty blue eyes wide open, serious and very present. Though they drifted to the topknot on his head, and he could practically see Cloud fighting himself not to let his jaw drop. It was so hard not to laugh around the blond.

“I have a request to make, sir.” Cloud said, his voice steady and serious, though still soft and, well, open.

“Is that so, puppet?” Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed, and the little wrinkles at the end of his eyes curved upwards, making it look more like a smile than suspicion.

“I want to talk. And I want to be allowed to drop the title, sir.”

“And what do you expect my answer to be?” Sephiroth said with a smirk growing on his angelic face.

“You’ll say no, but I’ll… It’ll be for the best of my training.” Cloud said, doing his very best to sound convinced of his own suggestion.

“And why is that?” Sephiroth rubbed a thumb over Cloud’s bruised neck, making the blond quiver. The way Cloud closed his eyes made him assume it was less from arousal now, and more from actual pain. He was sure the bruises would be dark purple by tomorrow. He’d really bit him quite hard.

“I learn better of the things I know, and to know I have to be free to ask, sir.” Though Cloud’s voice was still so serious, he carefully bent his head down to encourage the hand by his neck to stroke him instead of hurting him.

Sephiroth hummed in contemplation and splayed his hand over Cloud’s neck, reaching both bruised sides and press into them hard enough for Cloud to gasp. He could see Cloud’s point. In a way those first days when Cloud had spoken more freely, he’d enjoyed it. The cadet made for some entertaining conversation. But of course, he couldn’t admit that. 

The thought of it had such excitement blooming in his chest, and though the blond still had his eyes closed he couldn’t risk giving it away. So he slowly pushed Cloud by the neck away from himself until Cloud was lying on his back in the water.

“Sir?” Cloud squeaked, sounding afraid for the first time in days, blinking his eyes. Before he had a chance to see anything he was pushed by his throat under water. He had to struggle not to immediately panic. Had he asked too much? Hadn’t Sephiroth encouraged him to ask for what he wanted? Panic seeped into him with every passing second, each one stretching impossibly long. He'd burned through his oxygen in no time. The staggering pain of his throat wasn’t helpful either.

He felt the water shift around him, and just when he thought he couldn’t keep his mouth closed any longer the hand on his neck moved down to his chest. He heard the strange under-water sound of a splash and then to his utter surprise, he felt Sephiroth’s lips on his. In the next heartbeat he knew nothing but relief. He let his breath leave him along with the panic that subsided as quickly it had come.

It made him feel solemnly at peace when Sephiroth took his air and returned it to him. It seemed like the sweetest gift. The lips disappeared but the pressure on his chest didn’t, he wasn’t worried any longer. Sephiroth was making a point, and it came across clear as day.

If his request would be granted it wouldn’t be because he asked for it. It would be because Sephiroth wanted it. Just like every breath he took was only taken because Sephiroth gave it to him. And that, apparently, was his life now.

When he was lifted out of the water and into Sephiroth’s arms again he felt nothing but gratefulness, and he would have thrown himself at his general if he could’ve. The water pouring off his body and the sound of dripping somehow made him feel heady. It was so loud compared to the quietness under water.

“Please sir, please…” Cloud found his own voice shivering with a fierce need, that twisted his guts around like a knife.

“Hmm, pet?” Sephiroth purred as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

“Please, I want to be closer again,” Cloud whispered to hide the worst of the neediness in his voice, though he was sure it was abundantly clear anyway.

This time Sephiroth couldn’t keep his laughter back and wrapped his arms tightly around the shivering blond. “Like this, pet?” he asked in mockery.

“Closer,” Cloud whispered again while Sephiroth squeezed the air out of his lungs.

Sephiroth let his hands glide down along Cloud’s back to his backside and let his fingers glide down along Cloud’s crack until they grazed that pretty little hole. “Closer here?”

Cloud moaned in agreement and carefully rested his head against Sephiroth’s unusually exposed neck, now that his hair was out of the way. Cloud found it surprising and shockingly attractive. It made Sephiroth look like someone from out of an antique paining. His neck was so long and slender, and warm to the touch. 

“I want to hear you say it, pet,” Sephiroth’s tease was both in his voice and in his hands now.

“Fuck me,” Cloud whispered, his voice a sudden, restrained burst of fire. “You were right, sir. I want it. Please.”

“Hmmm, and where would you like me to fuck you my pretty little pet?”

“Anywhere!” 

Cloud moaned again when Sephiroth pushed his finger inside. The soapy water didn’t make it too slippery, but he was still soft from earlier, and perhaps from the enema too. Even he could feel how easily he opened.

“Should I take you here in the tub until the soap burns your insides?”

Cloud whined hesitantly, but he truly didn’t care enough to say no.

“Or put you down on the cold tiles, face down, and fuck you until your front is just as bruised on your neck?”

“If you’d like,” Cloud managed, hoping to be rewarded if he didn’t deny Sephiroth any of his whims. And the range for what he’d take as a ‘reward’ truly seemed impossibly generous at the moment.

“Should I bend you over your beloved daybed?” Sephiroth mused, not really expecting a reply, and shoved another finger inside Cloud’s warm tightness.

“Or do you want to be buried in the bedsheets like a little princess?”

“Please!” Cloud said before Sephiroth had even finished, his breaths growing heavier. The hot water made him dizzy now that his blood was singing, but he knew Sephiroth wouldn’t let him pass out in the water.

“Alright, pet,” Sephiroth mumbled with a rare loftiness in his voice, still reserved, but there. He quickly rinsed them off with the shower head outside of the tub, not caring to wait until it had drained. It was a significant, the first time someone asked to be taken. Well, technically Cloud had asked before, but in fury. It didn’t count.

He didn’t bother to dry them off, and carefully walked into the bedroom to place Cloud on top of the bed. Then he walked out of the room again to come back carrying a large mirror. He placed it beside the bed where Cloud was lying and then climbed in beside Cloud.

“What’s this?” Cloud asked, forgetting the ’sir’, his brows worrying themselves into a frown as Sephiroth turned him to his side to face their reflection.

“I want you to see yourself pet. If you don’t look away for the whole time, we’ll discuss your request after, understood?” 

Cloud still looked troubled but gave a small nod while trying to erase that frown from his face, staring at himself.

Sephiroth snaked his arm around Cloud’s waist and looked at them both in the mirror. It was a truly pleasing sight. His pale skin with cold undertones against Cloud’s which a slightly warmer and pinkish hue, and those tiny little freckles. He placed another kiss on Cloud’s neck.

“I could heal this for you if you’d like?”

Cloud saw his own face morph into one of surprise. Gods, he knew he was easy to read and he hated being reminded of it. No doubt, it had been one of the reasons he’d been bullied as a child. And one of the reasons he didn’t like to get close to others. It was the only way to make sure it wouldn’t happen again.

“Leave it if you want to, sir.” Cloud mumbled and focused all his willpower to not look away from the mirror.

“I thought you wanted me to fuck you like a princess. Wouldn’t the bruises be a bit of a stretch for such a scenario, puppet?” He absentmindedly stroked over Cloud’s hips, down his legs.

Cloud was so focused on following the pale hand caressing him in the mirror it took a few extra seconds for him to notice the knowing, smug smoulder in Sephiroth’s eyes. In his mind he swore. Sephiroth must have realised it was hardly ‘being fucked as a princess’ that was his innermost wish. He wanted to be fucked as if he was loved as a person, not a fucking fuck-doll. Sephiroth looked like he knew exactly what was going on, and before he’d realised, he sighed his shame and sorrow. It was stupid, ridiculous. Way worse than wanting to be a princess. 

Perhaps he deserved those bruises, or the pain they gave. Perhaps they could serve as yet another distraction from his childish, stupid longing for this man whose hands were on his naked body for all the wrong reasons. Every single reason he was there was wrong. Another sigh.

“I don’t know, sir,” Cloud said truthfully, and stared back at Sephiroth in the mirror. His skin looked like honey in the soft warm light. He wondered if the lights were on a timed dimmer because he never remembered Sephiroth adjusting them.

“You gave me a rather enjoyable workday, all things considered, puppet. Now I’m giving this evening to you, so tell me what you want.”

“Except for the mirror, sir?”

“Yes, except for that.” Sephiroth’s smile widened, and he ran his nails lightly over Cloud’s waist, tickling him.

Cloud huffed in surprise, and the tension fell from his face, replaced by a cautious smile. He forgot himself and turned his head back, trying to face Sephiroth directly. “Will you… bruise me again tonight if you heal me now… sir?”

“Perhaps. I don’t decide in advance, puppet.” He propped himself up on his elbow to get into Cloud’s field of vision. Cloud’s eyes were cautious but warm and astonishingly trusting. Stunning. He wondered if today would be when they lost that final remnant of innocence. It would be soon. Cloud was changing, and rapidly at that.

“Then heal me, please.”

Sephiroth hummed, gently guided Cloud to look back toward the mirror and then slid lower to place his lips on the lithe, bruised neck, letting the cure flare just as his lips touched skin. It was a bit dramatic, but he sensed Cloud would appreciate the gesture. It was quite a romantic one after all. Seeing Cloud’s astonished and softening face in the mirror made him decide it had been worth it.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have a good week. <3


	16. Like Bob Ross but Utterly Filthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seph and Cloud strike a new deal. Seph is delighted, Cloud is... degraded, delighted and conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The goddess of beta-readers [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith) has put her blessing hand on every comma in this chapter.

Cloud did his best not to avert his eyes from the mirror as Sephiroth touched him. He wasn’t one to spend particularly long in front of the mirror. As a child he’d spent a lot of time in front of mirrors trying to figure out why the other kids didn’t like him, looking for some fault that ultimately he hadn’t found. But the process had left him with a distaste for his own image.

Now he was made to watch himself as Sephiroth’s hands expertly made him gasp, blink and moan. The more pleasure-filled his body became, the less he recognised the person staring back at him in the mirror. The blush over his skin, his engorged member obscenely bobbing and dripping, but worst of all, his face. His cheeks were blushed, and his eyes looked impossibly wet behind those fluttering eyelids. He found his mouth always slightly parted, like he couldn’t keep it closed.

He looked… different. Nothing like himself, and all too much like the women he’d seen in the adult magazines he’d hidden from his mom, and that was horrifying. He looked every bit as wanton as he felt, when his contaminated blood sang its praises with every kiss Sephiroth planted down his spine.

When Sephiroth’s fingers stretched him, his vision went thankfully blurry. By the time Sephiroth finally entered him he wasn’t sure it was really him in the mirror. Everything seemed too surreal.

The scene playing out in the mirror looked too much like the lover’s scene he hadn’t had the stomach to ask for. Sephiroth was taking him gently yet firmly, guiding, waiting for him to catch and ride through every wave of pleasure. His body was rocked and manoeuvred so naturally that he almost forgot about the paralyzed state he was in. 

It was tempting to forget why he was there, how he’d gotten there, and when Sephiroth began praising him for his beauty, warmth, softness, tightness, he truly did forget. The eyes of the blond in the mirror started leaking, but he didn’t look sad. The unearthly beauty behind him just held him closer and pushed into him deeper.

He could plainly see how the men in the mirror were practically glowing for each other. It looked so real, the way they gripped that dripping erection together and started stroking it. When he saw the blond’s neck being kissed in the mirror and felt the warm breath on his own neck, it was almost startling. Like a transgression of reality; a mismatch, wires that were crossing wrong.

Something in the depth of his bones was trying to make sense of it all, but when the godlike beauty behind him, inside him and all around him asked if he was ready, he thought only of the next moment. The moment of perfect bliss they were about to share.

“I love…” Sephiroth murmured into Cloud’s ear and poorly stifled a laugh when the blond was thrown over the edge by his words, “all my obedient little puppets,” he finished, and let his release light up his ownership over that frail little body that cramped so deliciously around him.

As far as the first part of Sephiroth’s sentence had thrown Cloud into a mindless rapture, the second one turned it all on its head, instantly turning it all to despair. His cries turned from elation to anguish from one breath to the other. When he tried to turn his face into the pillows to hide, he found a steely grip on his hair, yanking to keep him facing the mirror while he was still being entered with shattering thrusts and flooded with Sephiroth’s seed.

“You were doing so well, puppet. Don’t lose it now.” Sephiroth said, sounding far too collected and calculating for what he was doing, and that too, hit Cloud like a blow to his stomach. He recognized himself in the mirror now. A crestfallen, limp bag of meat; weak, pitiful, used. But Sephiroth didn’t seem to mind at all. Their eyes met in the mirror and Sephiroth looked nothing but pleased, perhaps even proud.

“See? Isn’t it better when you follow my lead?” Sephiroth mumbled into golden spikes when his hips had finally stilled. 

Cloud didn’t reply, he just stared at the god and the meat bag in the mirror in disbelief. It didn’t show that they were still connected.

“Pet? Are you getting lost in your own head again?” Sephiroth snuck his arms around his precious puppet and pulled himself closer, kissing the pale little neck and the bony parts of his shoulder. “Pet?”

Cloud pulled a heavy, stuttering breath of air. “Did I do well, sir? Will we be discussing my request?” he said stiffly, his voice thick with the disappointment he felt.

“Yes, puppet. In the morning. I’d like to fall asleep now.” Cloud could hear the sleepiness in Sephiroth’s voice. It was the same as in the mornings when they woke up and Sephiroth nuzzled his face into his stomach. It made him sound younger and… unguarded.

“Like this? You want to sleep like this?” Cloud asked, feeling the discomfort of Sephiroth softening while still inside him. It felt disgusting, the slippery feel of movement that transferred to him with every breath they drew. It was fascinating how something he’d enjoyed almost to the point of madness merely seconds ago now seemed so incredibly repulsive.

“Mmm... I thought you wanted to be closer,” Sephiroth murmured in a subdued tease, which efficiently closed the conversation.

Cloud didn’t sleep very well. He kept stirring from the strange sensations, first of Sephiroth slowly slipping out of him. No matter how gorgeous Sephiroth was, it still felt like dribbling a slug out himself. Then, when that was finally over, out came the sperm itself. It was warm and thick but once outside it turned cold and sticky, and it made his bed sheets wet. He couldn’t even roll away from the wet spot. When he finally did manage to sleep his dreams were uneasy, full of an anger so strong it painted the world red in flames.

…

In the morning, before Cloud had even opened his eyes, he felt himself being squeezed and his chest kissed, not entirely unlike the days before. Sephiroth tilted his face downwards, and when he had collected himself enough to open his eyes to the day, he saw Sephiroth’s eyes catch the morning light like the reflexive eyes of a predator. They were almost unnerving with all their beauty.

In an instant, the powerful yearning for a parallel world came over Cloud. A world where they were true lovers, and he could move. Just move, for fuck’s sake. He knew it was fucked up, the way he wanted to bend down to kiss the same person who kept him there against his will.

The dream turned even more vivid when Sephiroth reached up to kiss him, slowly, tenderly, deeply. Teasing him with what he couldn’t have, just like the night before. It was eerie, almost as if Sephiroth was reading his mind. 

Sephiroth hummed and ground their bodies lazily against each other, but instead of ending, the kiss slowly deepened. Sephiroth wrapped his arm around Cloud to reach his backside and prod at Cloud’s opening, causing him to moan softly into the kiss.

“Still so wet and soft, puppet. So lovely. Always so lovely for me.” Sephiroth purred between unhurried tastes of his lovely little plaything.

Cloud felt like he was being devoured and replenished at the same time. The intimacy of the way he was being touched, stolen from him in an instant by Sephiroth’s degrading words. He really hated being called a puppet. His hatred was reaching a point where he felt physically ill from hearing it. 

But when he saw Sephiroth’s unguarded morning self the anger slipped out of his reach. The conflicted feelings caused such a turmoil in his still waking head he made a sound that sounded like something between a sob and a sigh.

“I want to be able to talk to you, and drop the title. Please sir, you said yesterday…” Cloud blinked and stared into the strange bright green saucers with the pupil so slim it was hardly there. A shiver of nervousness and marvel ran down his spine and meet up with Sephiroth’s insistent fingers, which seemed to constantly seek out his darkest and dirtiest places.

“Mmm pet, if I give you your mouth back during daytime, will you let me have it to do what I want with it at night time?” Sephiroth took Cloud’s hand in his and sucked at the translucent skin of Cloud’s wrist until a red mark appeared.

Cloud wished he could pull his hand back, frustrated with the vagueness of the reply. “What do you mean, sir?”

“Let me show you,” Sephiroth said, sounding childishly excited and smoothly rose out of bed without any hint of the sleepiness or stiffness Cloud always felt in the morning.

Sephiroth returned with something black in his hands. He pulled back the blanket, climbed in behind Cloud and sat them both up. He positioned Cloud in front of himself, between his own legs and facing the mirror that was still there from the evening before. Cloud’s face twisted with disgust as he felt even more remnants of yesterday’s nightly activities dribble out of him. Sephiroth simply smiled and stroked the golden tresses out of his face.

“Do you know what a ring gag is, pet?” He purred and reached around Cloud to show him the item.

Cloud shook his head, although he thought ‘pet’ at least was better than ‘puppet’. At least pets are alive.

“It goes into your mouth to keep it open.” He lifted Cloud’s hand and let it touch the different pieces. The wide, smooth leather strap and the silicone-coated metal ring. If Cloud was to sleep with it, it would be hard enough to get used to even if it wouldn’t be as uncomfortable as uncoated metal.

“Gods,” Cloud breathed, and lifted his eyes to meet Sephiroth’s in that damned mirror. This truly was insane.

“You didn’t think I’d say yes for nothing, pet?”

No. No he hadn’t, but this?

“Would you like to try it?” Sephiroth’s eyes glittered with poorly restrained excitement. There was something determined and unyielding in them that made Cloud wonder if he even had any options, now that the idea was clearly planted in Sephiroth’s mind.

He ignored the ringing ‘no’ in his mind and nodded, his stomach turning with revulsion.

“Open, pet.” Sephiroth purred and planted little kisses of encouragement on Cloud’s neck and shoulders while raising the gag.

Cloud swallowed nervously, hesitating. “What would you do?” he whispered and swallowed again, trying to wet his mouth that had gone uncomfortably dry.

With well-practiced hands, Sephiroth applied gentle pressure on Cloud’s lower jaw until he could feel Cloud relax for him. Then he slipped the mouthpiece inside, adjusting Cloud’s lips, removing any folds until it was perfectly in place.

Tears filled Cloud’s eyes as he saw himself reduced to something so much less than human. At first the sight reminded him of a bit in a horse’s mouth, but even that wasn’t as exposing. He thought he looked like some medical experiment, but this was far removed from any scientific practice.

It wasn’t actually that uncomfortable. By reflex he tried to say something, but it only resulted in an awkward moan as he watched his own tongue waving around in the middle of his open orifice in the mirror. It made his tears spill over, marking another of his most humiliating experiences in his life.

Sephiroth dismissively wiped them away and laid him down on his back, pulling Cloud along to lie on top of him. “I’d do whatever I want, my beautiful, darling puppet.” He ran his hands pensively over the soft skin of Cloud’s stomach, carefully picturing all the delightful possibilities of having Cloud locked in such an agreement, purposely not voicing a single one of them.

Cloud’s tears were still streaming, and he carefully eased Cloud off himself, and climbed to lie on top instead, looking down on the pretty image of matte black against Cloud’s brilliant skin.

“Ssh, pet. Is it really that bad?” He wiped more tears away, carefully softening his face to soothe Cloud’s overflowing worry.

“I think you’re beautiful, pet. Your outstretched lips ready for me anytime. You must realise I appreciate it? I do show my appreciation, don’t I?” He kissed Cloud’s tears away and gently took Cloud’s face in his hands, waiting patiently until Cloud gave a little nod.

“And you do want to please me, don’t you?” He lowered his face to Cloud’s and folded Cloud’s outstretched lips ever so softly between his, savouring the intimacy Cloud had allowed by trying the gag on. He truly loved when his puppets put themselves in his hands. He loved to gain their trust and adoration, their obedience, but perhaps most of all, their loyalty. It was so much sweeter with someone like Cloud. Someone so willful.

“Pretty puppet.” he purred happily.

He let their morning in bed drag out until Cloud wasn’t crying any more, his breathing rhythmical, and his eyes were as calm as a mountain lake.

“I’ll take it off now. You don’t have to decide right away. Take the day to think about it.” He sat them up in front of the mirror and undid the clasp behind Cloud’s head and carefully eased the mouthpiece out. Afterwards, he let his fingertips search for every sore muscle in Cloud’s face, making sure that Cloud could feel the relief he would offer.

…

That day Cloud didn’t loathe to be left alone on the daybed. He felt as if his will was tearing him in two, and he really needed the time to consider his choice. He had a rather heated conversation with his anger about it too. His anger was not pleased with the fallout of his decision. 

He focused on the sweetness of the taste of Sephiroth’s name on his lips. The rich flavour of all the questions he’d held back. The opportunity to get to know his childhood hero, not only in body, but in mind too. When would he ever have that again?

And so, when Sephiroth returned, he couldn’t help but to greet him with a smile that gave away nothing about the humiliation he knew he would have to endure. All he could think of was the pleasure of asking him about the things he’d learned so far. About where he learned how to cook, about the paintings, the clothes he’d chosen for him, and perhaps even his job. And about his and Zack’s friendship, though he might not be ready for that yet.

Like so many times before, Sephiroth seemed to read him without any words, because his steps sped up and he picked Cloud right up from the daybed to collect him to his chest and pepper his face with kisses. For the first time in days, Cloud laughed. It sounded unfamiliar, but he didn’t care. Sephiroth looked overjoyed, and Cloud thought he’d never seen anything so beautiful before.

“Sephiroth,” he said with his face blushing, trying out their new boundaries. It felt like he was doing something forbidden, but Sephiroth just looked at him patiently, waiting for him to continue, so he did. “Sephiroth, what’s for dinner?”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some weekend pointless smut. <3


	17. Okay, but What WAS for Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's weekend smut time dear readers. Here, have some oral fixation.
> 
> Oh, and for those who want to know what was for dinner, it was fried fish and rice, Wutai style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely Cate Sith has more or less finished the beta reading. My writing always improves so much with Cate Sith's input. <3 If you like my writing, please know that you love [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith) by proxy.

Perhaps Cloud really  _ had _ been torn in two, he thought as he laid on the daybed, thinking back on his first night with the ring gag. Yesterday afternoon and evening had been the most light-hearted of his stay with Sephiroth by far.

He’d asked about a million little things. Only about the topics he’d deemed safe, but still. Things like the food Sephiroth had cooked for him, where he’d gotten the ingredients, as well as things Cloud had remembered reading in articles about Sephiroth when he’d been younger… Silly things, like his favourite colour (which he insisted he didn’t have), his favourite candy, which he also claimed to not have…

It was a little bit strange, how some of these questions that he’d thought were so ‘safe’ had run the conversation into an invisible wall. He wasn’t secure enough about his new freedom to ask why this was the case. But why in Gaia didn’t everyone have a favourite candy? Surely every place had to have their own specialty of sweets?

And then he thought of the night that had followed. How Sephiroth had cuddled close, closer than what he’d come to expect, and how he’d just caressed the inside of his mouth for gods knows how long. It had started fairly innocently, with just the one finger, touching lightly in a way that had left him with the distinct feeling that Sephiroth was giving him a chance to get… acclimated to their new… agreement.

Just when he felt like he was about to jump out of his own skin, which was unbearable enough on its own, made even more so when he was paralyzed like this, Sephiroth had slipped another finger in, reaching further inside. Little by little the limits of what he thought he could take before gagging were pushed, and he had been on edge during the whole of it. It had been entirely overwhelming.

It made him feel dirty, obscene and wrong. It made him feel like his own purpose was only providing a warm body for Sephiroth. Though it was invasive, Sephiroth had a patient, calm, almost serene air about him the whole time. Like someone who was petting… well, a pet. It made Cloud huff in conflict and frustration where he laid alone. He wished he could fidget. Gods, he missed fidgeting.

Still, it had been an extensive period of absolute intimacy between them, and that he couldn’t entirely hate. It thrilled him, and that was the thing he kept dwelling on. The thoughts had his stomach flipping between butterflies and stones of dread until Sephiroth came home. The rest of the evening flew by in a daze, his admiration for Sephiroth having renewed with the possibility of conversation.

… 

That evening, his body revolted with fear and worry when Sephiroth brought the ring gag over to him. Though he wasn’t ready to change their new agreement, he shook his head, tasting panic in the back of his tongue. All it took was for Sephiroth to raise an eyebrow to make him stop. He took a shaky breath to calm himself, and opened wide.

Sephiroth slipped on the gag with caressing hands, and then he did the only thing Cloud hadn’t taken into account. He kissed his cheek, tucked him in, turned around and laid himself to sleep.

Unprepared, Cloud felt the lack of attention like a blow to his stomach. It took a few excruciating moments to pinpoint why. He felt discarded, and with some surprise he realised he’d gotten used to Sephiroth’s overbearing attention during their evenings. Now it hurt not to have it.

Still, his dignity prevented him from doing anything about it. Perhaps it was because he’d felt so good during the day. Perhaps his dignity was like a limb that had regenerated with the sliver of agency that being allowed to speak more freely had given him. Now he laid there doubting it had been a good thing after all.

The sensation of having his mouth left propped open was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. As expected, it took unusually long for him to fall asleep.

His dreams were uneasy, too warm and sweaty, confining and haunted, distressing in a way that crept under his skin. He was sure he was being hunted, he had to run, but he was out of breath and the muscles in his legs were cramping, screaming for oxygen. He simply couldn’t move anymore.

He looked over his shoulder, searching for whatever looming presence was preying on him in the inky darkness, and he found himself in one of those rare instances where he was absolutely certain he was dreaming. He tried to will himself to wake up, to rid himself of the awful dream.

He could feel his eyelids slide over the rounds of his eyes as they opened, but all that met him was more dense darkness, and he was still short of breath. The feeling of being hunted gave way only to be replaced by being caught.

He was sure his head had been screwed in a vise, and something was in his mouth, making it hard for him to breathe. There was something pressing painfully between his legs, and his muscles were definitely aching. It took him another few moments to realise that they were tense to the point of quivering because he was so close to coming.

The shock prompted him to take a deep breath but instead of air, it drew the abundant fluids in his mouth into his windpipe and he started coughing. There had been so much more of those than he’d realised. The grip on his face shifted into a familiar grip in his spikes, and it was only then he understood what was being done to him. The other hand left his face too, to rub his back soothingly, but the leg pressed against his aching erection didn’t let up at all. Sephiroth was everywhere.

As soon as he’d stopped coughing, before he’d been able to produce any sort of protest, Sephiroth was shoving himself back into Cloud’s mouth. Not too forcefully, but with clear intent, conveyed loud and clear from Sephiroth’s artless groan. It sent a quake ripping through Cloud, making him fully awake, his senses instantly honed in to full alert.

He’d never heard Sephiroth make a sound like that before, and the steely grip on his head was also unfamiliarly intense. The other times Sephiroth had fucked him he’d always been so collected, so very in control of himself. This felt different.

Now that he was awake, he could plainly read the signs of how close Sephiroth was to release. The way his cock continuously leaked its unnaturally sweet nectar into his mouth. For a moment it laid there, still, hot and heavy, twitching almost uncontrollably in his mouth. Sephiroth was all ethereal moans, and ragged breaths and he filled the darkness with an overbearing intensity that seemed to confine Cloud, allowing him only to feel, not to think.

There was a tension between the grip on his head and the comparative gentleness with which Sephiroth took his pleasure from his mouth. It made him moan in confusion around Sephiroth. It made him willing and unwilling at the same time. The result was just feeling hopelessly lost, to the point where the pressure of it threatened to pop his eyes out and blind him permanently.

But Sephiroth was noticeably spurred on by the moan, and perhaps the way Cloud’s tongue moved against him now that he was awake. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he shoved himself into Cloud’s warm, slick and open mouth, abandoning all semblance of gentleness. He lived for every subtle ridge he pushed past until he felt Cloud’s throat to close deliciously in protest around him. It only made him feel delight, and tugged Cloud’s lovely head harder into his crotch, savouring the muffled protests, the moans, the convulsions of Cloud’s gagging. It was perfect. 

This puppet, Cloud, was perfect. When he emptied himself into that warm throat it was perfect. The sweet little body wheezing and heaving from the effort trying to swallow with his mouth propped open was perfect. When he lapped up his own perfect taste from the now doubly wet orifice, making the blond moan uncontrollably just by pushing his leg a little firmer between his legs, and that, too, was perfect. The way the little limp body came against him while sobbing in turmoil was perfect. He tried to remember if he’d ever been so content before, but quickly found himself unwilling to further examine why the blond could entice such bliss in him.

The way he fell asleep so safe and relaxed within the little blond’s arms was perfect, and he slept perfectly.

Cloud, however, did not. He felt the queer discomfort of emptiness again. Yet again, he felt as if he’d lost something of himself, and he had no one but himself to blame. He could feel himself floating on the waves of his own breaths, drifting further and further away from himself in the ocean of black until he was no more.

…

Cloud woke up in a mood that couldn’t be described as anything else but foul. As soon as he came to, he noticed that Sephiroth must have rid him of his gag already. Not that it helped. He didn’t know how, but Sephiroth seemed to have noticed.

“Puppet,” Sephiroth purred affectionately, nuzzling his face into Cloud’s stomach.

Cloud refrained from opening his eyes, knowing that the sight would soften his anger, or perhaps take it from him altogether. He’d already taken just about everything else, and in that moment his freedom to speak seemed useless. What was there to say?

“Puppet, are you angry with me?” Sephiroth said softly, but the performed remorse wasn’t lost on Cloud.

What did it even matter if he was?

The impossibly silky soft skin of Sephiroth’s hands snaked down his waist and hugged his hips to that perfectly muscular chest. He felt delicate, appeasing kisses on his stomach, accompanied by the tickle of Sephiroth’s long hair, which he knew was catching the morning light, producing a silver halo around that unearthly beauty. When the kisses didn’t induce a response, they moved lower and lower yet, until they were in the springy thatch of the blond hair, on their way to kissing a line down his limp member.

“Stop. Just stop.” Cloud said, trying hard to fill his voice with anger and determination.

“Why, puppet? I know you enjoy a warm mouth just as much as anyone.”

Cloud wanted to rip his hair out with the burst of frustration that exploded in his chest. He considered screaming but was too sleepy to manage. Instead, unfiltered words streamed from his lips.

“I’m disgusting. You’ve made me disgusting. Clean me up,  _ please sir _ .  _ Please _ soak me in bleach, or better yet, just let me drown.”

Cloud felt a puff of air cooling the trail of kisses on his stomach. He felt Sephiroth’s laughter before the sound of it accompanied the soft shaking around him. It sounded easy and unbothered, infectious and rare. It made Cloud open his eyes.

He regretted it at once, because Sephiroth’s eyes were magnets of warm, green radiance that drew him in until his lungs burned and he had to remind himself to breathe.

Fumbling for his anger now, he voiced another thought he’d had only seconds ago. “I hate you.” It came out hollow, his pitch rising slightly at the end making it sound like something more of a question than a statement.

“Do you now, pet?” Sephiroth purred and ran his fingers over the flaking, dried cum where Cloud’s leg met his hip.

“You’re so…” Cloud huffed and searched for the right words. “How can you be so… Why are you so…”

“Cruel? Evil? Cold-blooded? Heartless? Sadistic?” Sephiroth offered while meeting Cloud’s attempt at glaring unabashedly.

“Yeah, and…” Cloud frowned with waning indignation.

“Beautiful? Irresistible? Fascinating? Tempting? Seductive?” A transparent, disillusioned smile lingered on Sephiroth’s face. Cloud’s frown turned baffled at the dripping sarcasm with which Sephiroth described himself.

“Oh please, I am the grand whore of Shinra after all. Perhaps the most well-paid whore on Gaia, but a whore none the less. Don’t you think I’ve heard it all?”

“I- I…” Cloud was going to say he hadn’t meant it like that, but he had. He most definitely had. Though he’d never thought of Sephiroth in terms of a ‘whore’. It hadn’t crossed his mind, not even remotely. He’d only thought of Sephiroth as his general. As a war hero. As the most powerful man on Gaia. As someone he’d looked up to since he was a child. Even after all of this, he found himself still looking up to the man who wielded such enormous power over him, cruel or not.

“I’m sorry.” Cloud said, his eyes growing wide as saucers as the truth of Sephiroth’s words slowly sank in. Sephiroth laughed again, this time louder and longer. Cloud thought it sounded lovely. Too lovely.

“You’re apologising? To me? Tell me, puppet, even if I am on Shinra’s most specialised payroll, does it make things right? Does it make this right?” He let his hands drift to the rounded mounds of Cloud’s backside, slipping his fingers in that warm and moist crack and gently pulled apart to place a finger against Cloud’s opening. How he loved that part of the human body! So small, so ridiculous, so ugly, but seemingly of such immeasurable meaning to everyone.

“I don’t know,” Cloud groaned and felt his forehead twist in knots again. The sensation of Sephiroth’s chest against his most private parts was indescribable. That same bare chest barely concealed by the uniform Sephiroth favoured, prominently featured in every photograph of Sephiroth he’d ever seen. Besides, the conversation was confusing. It was too early in the morning for it, and he couldn’t make heads or tails of it. 

“No?” Cloud tried, grasping for the right answer, his swelling catching on another muscular curve.

Sephiroth hummed softly and continued to pet that special part of his pet. The part that inevitably made them all melt in his hands. 

“Well, I don’t need your apology, but thank you anyway,” he planted his words softly into Cloud’s skin. Cloud’s lightly freckled, soft and warm skin that always blushed so easily for him. Rose to honour him with goose bumps. Warmed for him. Moistened for him.

By now, Cloud knew the dull, familiar ache that rose to meet Sephiroth’s touch and worked to dull his own senses.

“What is it you want from me?” he managed to ask before his sense was entirely gone, because somewhere in the back of his mind he understood that the conversation was important.

“Your everlasting love and devotion, of course,” Sephiroth explained as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Then he closed his mouth over Cloud, more to see what kind of pleasure-dazed sound it would produce than to start something lengthier up. Cloud let up a soft little moan which sounded like warm honey trickling into his ears. He allowed himself to enjoy it fully before he leaned back enough to speak again.

“Pet, you’re not disgusting. You could never be disgusting.” For all that he’d taken from the blond on Shinra’s behalf, that was the very least he could give back. When Cloud only grunted dismissively at his words, he freed himself from the spell the golden curls between Cloud’s legs held over him, to face the disturbed cadet lying ever so still in his bed. He softly cradled the nape of Cloud’s neck in his hands and waited until Cloud hesitantly met his eyes.

“You could never do anything to be disgusting to me, pet,” he murmured and kissed Cloud’s blushing cheek. “Never.” He found Cloud as adorable in bewilderment as he was in his pleasure or suffering.

“Come, let’s get you cleaned up before breakfast. Can’t let you be angry with me all day, can I?”

Cloud huffed, managing to suppress his surprised giggle at Sephiroth’s silliness. Sephiroth had him feeling as if he was being tossed around like a ball in a pinball machine. He just couldn’t keep up. He had known Sephiroth would try to disarm him as soon as he’d woken up. Still, he had found nothing to put up in his defence. Nothing at all.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like, I am always happy to find out! If you don't like too. In fact, I'm grateful for anything that distracts me from the mess that is my 'real life 2020', so feel free to keep me engaged in this one instead.


	18. In Which the Spicy Boy Knows He’s RIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh you know. Seph fucks Cloud a little, they argue a little. Same old same old! ;) <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovely beta reader [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith) has tamed every unruly comma in this chapter. Thank you Cate Sith!

That afternoon when Sephiroth came home, Cloud was picked up off of the day bed and laid in Sephiroth’s lap in front of the TV. It was quite a rare instance, and it reminded him of when Zack had been there. It reminded him that he hadn’t thought about Zack for days. Perhaps it should have been a painful realisation, but Sephiroth’s absentminded stroking was a dampening blanket to his mind.

He’d hated the daybed less since their agreement on the gag. It had significantly disturbed his sleep, and he found himself napping on the daybed, comfortable only because Sephiroth posed him so expertly. Never any pins and needles, and if there was any stiffness, Sephiroth would melt it under his hands before they went to bed. He never had to ask for it.

The black silk robe under his cheek was soft, and the fingers rubbing his scalp while someone was absentmindedly talking on the TV made him feel so good he wondered if he was getting dumber. Even if that were true, it felt good to be dumb after that morning’s heavy conversation that he’d tried to make sense of before falling asleep.

Sephiroth shifted and his robe fell open, just enough to expose the porcelain skin of his thigh, and the gentle scent of flowers and earth wafted up, making Cloud blush. It made him feel intimately connected to Sephiroth, to know where that scent came from, and that sent pleasant shivers down his spine.

Moments passed too quickly, and he wasn’t sure he was really awake to savour them. He blinked, trying to keep his eyes open, not wanting to waste the easy comfort, but he realised he was losing the battle.

“Could I please sit in your lap?” he slurred sleepily, another pleasured shiver down his spine from not having to add the disturbing ‘sir’. Who would have known that the absence of such things could be so sensual?

Sephiroth hummed and easily lifted Cloud into his lap, letting Cloud face the TV as well, assuming that Cloud would want to watch.

“No, other way please.”

It took a little more jostling for Sephiroth to turn him around, and he met Cloud’s eyes with a mild look of amusement before he wiped some drool off of the corner of Cloud’s mouth. A fleeting horror passed Cloud’s expression but next, he broke out into a yawn.

Sephiroth just hummed, looking like he knew far too much about his thoughts and feelings, and then he draped Cloud against himself, just like Cloud had wanted, Cloud’s arms around his neck. Cloud thought he would have felt like a human blanket, if not for the hands that skimmed up and down his back and over his thighs and hips, acknowledging at least _something_ of him being alive and feeling.

Cloud placed his head in the crook of Sephiroth’s neck and breathed in deep, slow breaths. It was more flowery there, less earthy. It was hypnotic, and the softness of the silver strands that tickled his face felt cool before they warmed to him. His body felt so heavy, and so well supported in those arms. Like a shield against the rest of the world, if there even was one. It didn’t seem like it, he thought and closed his eyes.

When next he opened them, his head was uncomfortably clear. He was still sitting in Sephiroth’s lap, the TV was still on, but there was a little wet patch at his mouth which told him he’d fallen asleep. Before he could overthink it, he tried to kiss the drool away, instantly finding himself side-tracked by the taste of Sephiroth’s warm, moist skin against his tongue.

“Puppet,” Sephiroth purred and shifted. Cloud thought he would be chided, but instead Sephiroth’s arms wrapped tightly around him, pulling him closer.

Cloud didn’t expect it, or see it coming, but his chest exploded in pain. It was once again too close to what he wanted. It made him miss Zack, who at least called him by his real name. He had a name.

“It hurts,” he whispered right by Sephiroth’s ear, overcome by sadness.

“Of course it does, puppet. I’m breaking you,” he replied softly and planted a kiss on Cloud’s neck where Cloud’s robe had slipped.

“I’m… breaking you?” Cloud repeated, trying to make himself process the words by repeating them.

Sephiroth hummed his confirmation absentmindedly, giving Cloud the impression that he was actually more focused on the TV than to the devastating conversation.

“No,” Cloud said with a waver in his voice. He didn’t even know why he was trying to deny it, and it came out more like a question than a statement. A week and poorly formulated one. He shouldn’t be so shocked. He knew? He’d known? Right?

“Yes puppet.” Another kiss on Cloud’s shoulder, and then Sephiroth had to arrange himself to be more comfortable, for his body had quickly started to react to Cloud’s agony. He could smell it on the air, and in how the regular, deep breaths against his neck turned erratic. He could practically feel how Cloud’s body filled with emotions, turning to the volatile bundle of nerves he found himself enjoying so thoroughly.

“Would you like to warm me, puppet?” he purred and gave long, soothing strokes.

“Warm you?” Cloud said, feeling dumber with every second that passed. Nothing of that day had made much sense.

“Like when you were with me at work. At the desk.” He let his hand drift to the small of Cloud’s back and rocked Cloud gently into his erection. The quiet groan against his neck and the delicious friction made him leak against his stomach.

“Yes,” Cloud said, without much thought. It was just easier. He wanted to go back to that quiet place where he’d been before he’d fallen asleep. His mind had been so peaceful.

Sephiroth’s steady hands pushed the layers of fabric between them aside until skin met skin. Cloud felt light as air when Sephiroth’s fingers entered him, somehow magically slickened, and lazily started to work him open. He could feel the turmoil in him responding to Sephiroth’s touch. Sephiroth seemed to be able to refocus it, organize it into an aching need, just as skilfully as the conductor of an orchestra. He really couldn’t blame himself for whatever sounds escaped him. They were past that now.

When he was lifted on the palm of one hand and allowed to sink down around Sephiroth’s glorious cock he felt only gratefulness. He was grateful that his body could please Sephiroth, and that in turn was enough to distract him from every pressing thought on his mind.

He wasn’t vigorously fucked, only rocked enough by the hand on the small of his back to maintain Sephiroth’s engorged state, and that, of course, was enough to keep Cloud’s mind as blank as if it had been covered with a thick, crusty layer of white-out.

It was a great disappointment when Sephiroth eventually turned the TV off, lifted Cloud off far too unceremoniously, and brought them both into the kitchen to get started with the dinner. Cloud had trouble re-orienting his mood, but Sephiroth seemed quite bubbly. He chatted about the red peppers he was going to use for the fry-up, and how someone called Angeal had taught him how to grow them.

Cloud only listened with half an ear, disturbed by the fact that Sephiroth didn’t seem bothered by the mismatch of their moods. He was sure there was a reason, and he was sure it was important, but at the moment it eluded him.

…

By the time evening came, he was too tired to fight the idea of the ring gag, so he opened wide for his keeper. His lips were coated with a pleasant ointment, presumably not to crack. He found himself mildly alarmed at being tucked in and kissed goodnight, now when he knew in what range to expect Sephiroth to take advantage of their agreement.

That night he dreamed of the ocean. He’d never seen it before, but now he was swimming in the middle of it. It was dark and lonely, and unseen things seemed to be lurking everywhere. Unknown creatures brushed up against him with slimy, wet appendages that he couldn’t see. They caught him, sucked on to his skin and yanked him around in the water, making him gasp, which in turn made him aware that he was breathing water down his lungs, and that made him wake up in a panic.

“Sssh, you’re alright.”

Cloud felt a steadying hand on his chest. Though the world was still black, it was familiar to him now. The hand on him could never be mistaken for someone else’s, the way it seemed to almost melt into him, and it instantly calmed him. He found warmth gushing forth in his chest just under Sephiroth’s palm, and he didn’t recognize it. It became worse when Sephiroth scrambled himself closer.

“Ssh.”

Sephiroth’s voice was as warm and velvety as the thick darkness around him. He could feel the lush bedsheets shifting against his naked skin as Sephiroth moved them. They seemed like sandpaper when he felt the softness of Sephiroth pressing up against him, rolling him to his side.

He wanted to say ‘thank you’, but instead a horrifying, garbled mess of sounds were produced, his tongue flicking loosely in his mouth.

“You’re welcome, pet. You’re welcome to all of it,” Sephiroth’s whisper seemed to echo through he dark in a way that indicated a room much larger than the bedroom.

He could feel both of Sephiroth’s hands on him now, on his chest, rolling his muscles under them, rolling the pliable skin of his waist. And then came his lips over his heart, closed first, then opened, allowing him to partake of the warm and moist. Sephiroth’s tongue made a wet trail to his nipple and then that was lifted into that mouth. It spouted more potent, seductive nonsense thoughts to roil around in his head.

Was this how Sephiroth worked himself up at night? Was this all there was to it? His body in the dark? His voice silenced? Because Sephiroth’s mouth was fervent against him. What would have been gasps were turned to loud Ah’s, unfiltered by his failing will, and each one was rewarded with another stinging kiss on his chest.

“Learn to take what I give you pet.”

Cloud wasn’t surprised to feel Sephiroth’s hand come searching for his open mouth. His fingers greedily curled around his stretched open lips to stroke his tongue. He felt so raw and defenceless where he laid, but there was something about Sephiroth like this, in the dark, that levelled the field, if only by the slightest bit. It intrigued him, and it helped him to keep his worries at bay.

And so, his mind became as lax as his body, willingly following Sephiroth’s lead as he breathed that blackness into his lungs.

…

Time seemed to alter pace, because the days were quick and blurry, even though nothing much happened in them. It was almost as if there were two nights and two days to each day: the night he shared with Sephiroth, and the night he had on the daybed. As if dinner was his second breakfast.

And the nights with Sephiroth seemed to have their own particularly vivid character.

There was the night were Sephiroth spent hours littering his entire body with bite-marks. Every bite soft and lush at first, but then the intensity would increase until it stung, and until he was ready to scream. Over and over again. Sephiroth had fucked him the morning after, and again in the afternoon on the daybed upon seeing those marks. He’d seen them in the mirror too. He thought it looked like a leopard-print, but blotchier.

There was the night where Sephiroth just kissed his propped open mouth for hours and hours in the dark. He’d ended up coming against Sephiroth’s thighs three times, and all of them had been from accidental brushes. Every time Sephiroth had scooped up the liquid on his fingers and scraped it off inside his mouth, and then Sephiroth kissed him with even more urgency. It had been… bizarre.

Then there was the night where he’d found himself curled up on the mattress and Sephiroth simply fucking him from behind. His forearms and legs were on the mattress and his neck had been awkwardly twisted to the side, his face just rubbing into the mattress. He’d never felt so much like a living doll as then. It had taken a while for his body to catch up, but eventually his prostate had been awakened to its pleasurable function, and Cloud felt that damnable pressure build in his lower half. It just kept building and building until he screamed into the mattress, but Sephiroth never let him burst. Not Sephiroth either for that matter. It was as if Sephiroth had trapped them in an inescapable maze of torturous pleasure. He couldn’t remember how that night had ended.

It was morning again when Cloud couldn’t stop himself from bringing up that which had pressed on his mind the last few days, even if he was unsure of what he wanted the answer to be.

“Sephiroth?” Cloud said quietly, reverently, enjoying the freedom to form that name in his mouth.

“Hmm?”

“Why are you like that with me, at night?” He’d had to say it now while he was still sleepy, before his waking mind could talk him out of it again.

“Like what, puppet?” Sephiroth purred and cuddled himself into Cloud’s still body, as content as ever.

“You know, so… intense?” Cloud wasn’t even sure how to describe it. The darkness in which those scenes played out made it harder for him to trust his impressions of them.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Sephiroth said dismissively, but Cloud could pick up an edge. There was something there, he was sure of it.

“You’re different with me at night. Why?”

This time Sephiroth pushed himself away to look at Cloud with a steely coldness Cloud couldn’t remember seeing since the very first days he’d been there. A short, tense moment passed where they tried to read each other, but before Cloud could tell how he was doing Sephiroth spoke again.

“Why are you asking, puppet? Is it hurtful to know that I prefer you stripped of your will, voice and appearance? Would you rather that I took you in the daytime, so that we could exchange adoring glances while I make you come?”

Cloud huffed and yielded. “No!” Yes. Maybe. Probably. Not in those words though, he thought and swallowed down his rapidly thickening throat.

“Oh, I think you do. Well then.”

Everything that used to be soft, warm and open about Sephiroth in the mornings were gone. Instead Cloud was dragged to the center of the mattress, his legs carelessly spread open and his passage almost neglectfully slicked and stretched.

“Look as much as you want, puppet.” Sephiroth purred with coldness that seeped into Cloud’s bones as he was entered without any care for his comfort.

It was true that the way Sephiroth touched him, the intensity of it from the nights was there, but the heat he’d remembered wasn’t. This was something else entirely. Punishment for his prodding, probably.

He laid there as quietly as he could while Sephiroth drove home his point with utter cruelty. In a way it was almost a relief to know that he could feel _only bad_ about being taken against his will. It gave distinction to all the time he’d felt that confusing mix of both pain and pleasure. Then at least those times had been something disparate from _this_. Right?

“Come now, look,” Sephiroth hissed and grabbed Cloud’s chin to call for his attention while he drove himself callously into Cloud’s soft body.

Cloud stared into those slotted eyes, numbly searching for any trace of warmth or fondness, but found nothing. Instead he found Sephiroth’s inhuman appearance quite… common. Just commonly bitter and perhaps even a bit desperate. It made him cheerless, yes, but not because of his own sake.

“Oh my gods,” Cloud said in stuttering puffs, his body being pounded and shaken. “You’re lonely!”

Sephiroth’s movements came to an abrupt halt, his eyes fixed on Cloud and rapidly darkening.

“What did you just say?”

Cloud had never seen Sephiroth visibly make an effort to intimidate, but now the air was humming with it.

Cloud could hardly keep the glee out of his voice when he repeated himself. He couldn’t even register the movement that must have happened before a deafening blow landed on his cheek, leaving his head ringing. When it stopped, he could hear himself laughing. It sounded quite neurotic.

The second blow to his face brought blissful darkness, and Cloud happily let himself take refuge in it.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You like? Let me know! It's 2020. Good year to be generous with nice things/comments.


	19. There’s No One Around To Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud wakes up and suffers punishment for his transgression. Of course he does.
> 
> This turned out a pretty short chapter, but rest assured, the next one is done too.
> 
> This chapter mentions pee, but not really in a 'new' way for this fic. If you were ok with it before, you'll probably be ok with it now. It's just that kind of fic. Sorry, not sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been named and betaed by the LOVELY love slug lover [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith). If anyone is as appallingly bad at meme-speech as I am, Cate Sith will soon provide a link with an explanatory video. Apparently it has something to do with Animal Crossing.

When Cloud awoke, he was still lying sprawled awkwardly, vulnerable and naked on Sephiroth’s bed. His face wasn’t sore unless he moved his jaw, but even then, it wasn’t too bad. Better than he’d thought it would be.

Trying to orient himself to the time, Cloud made an effort to gauge the light in the room. Afternoon probably, so he’d been out for quite a while. That explained the burning pressure in his lower half.

Dread crept into his body and mind, he wished that he could hug himself, or at least close his legs as it dawned on him that he probably would be left alone for long enough to have to relieve his bodily needs in the bed. Oh gods, he really didn’t want to go through that again.

Time moved on, though at a snail’s pace, with nothing to distract him from the growing pressure in his bladder. He considered calling for Sephiroth, but he was pretty sure it’d produce nothing but gloating. This time, apparently, he’d  _ really _ done it.

Was it really such a big deal, to be lonely? Everybody felt lonely at some point or another. But he guessed Sephiroth was hardly the kind of person who’d allow something like that to be thrown in his face. He was arguably Gaia’s most powerful warlord. He must consider his loneliness a weakness. Cloud found it a bit far-fetched, but he knew all too well that people who considered themselves important often drew quite flimsy conclusions. The other children in Nibelheim had demonstrated that often enough for him.

Against his better knowledge, he found it quite endearing that Sephiroth had such a mundane ‘weakness.’ Perhaps that was part of why he liked to ‘work’ with people the way he did. He definitely seemed to enjoy certain aspects of it.

For a while he kept pondering these quite rational thoughts before the feeling of being abandoned with his disabled body took over. It made him numb, detached, and distantly freezing.

“Sephiroth, it’s o-”, he paused and swallowed with his thickening throat, “ _ your _ bed… Please, don’t…” Cloud said in a small, detached voice that he hardly recognized as his own, more to himself than out of hope that Sephiroth would actually come to his aid. “It’s gonna get...” Cloud trailed off, flinching with stinging shame, unable to finish the sentence.

He didn’t bother to fight his bladder as long as he had last time since he knew it would have no consequence. Clearly, Sephiroth had left him there with the intention of humiliating him. To remind him of his place, of his dependency.

It was quite effective, he distantly agreed when the foul, stinging liquid welled up over his chest and poured down the sides of his waist. It wet the bed and filled the air with the repulsive stench of his punishment and helplessness. The most he was able to do was turn his head when the force of the stream reached his neck, but he wasn’t even sure it had helped. He could almost taste it. He’d never hated his body as much as in that moment.

The bedsheets clung to him, first with oozing, warm stickiness that made him sob in disgust, and then it rapidly cooled to chill him. With every breath he had to fight the urge to scream, infuriated he couldn’t crawl out of his own skin. He couldn’t even crawl out of his own disgusting dirt.

The only concession he had was his rapidly draining energy. His mouth was dry, he was thirsty, hungry, cold and absolutely disgusted. He forced himself to breathe calmly and still his mind, hoping to drift into a dreamless sleep.

Just when he was about to slip away, he heard footsteps at the door.

“Sephiroth?” he mumbled tiredly, feeling how the dehydration of his body had gotten his lips so dry they all but split.

The low, calming, soothing voice he longed to hear so gravely the hope cut into him like a knife never came. Instead, a high-pitched gasp could be heard, and then footsteps scurrying away.

_ Oh, housekeeping then _ , Cloud thought and could no longer fight the tears that welled in his eyes and flooded his sinuses. He cried calmly at first, but every tear added to the pool of sadness that filled him until his entire being was saturated, then overflowing.

He could feel it, that darkness that he’d breathed into himself with every breath in Sephiroth’s presence. It was like tar now, sticking to his every bone and tendon, smothering and warping what was his own until everything was infected with inky, black nothingness. Apparently, it had gone so far enough to twist his will and better judgment, because with every hollow breath he just wanted Sephiroth to come for him.

...

The next thing he knew was the mattress dipping down beside him. He couldn’t make his eyes open fully, they were too swollen and dry. He half-blinked tiredly, wanting nothing more than to curl into himself, but he didn’t even really bother to try. He was freezing cold.

“Is that you?” Cloud croaked.

The soft, pensive hum that answered him was the sound of liquid sunlight being poured into his lungs, soothing, warming and comforting him. When he felt Sephiroth’s hand come to his face, the touch brought to mind those first spring days in Nibleheim. The winters there were so long that the first spring day was their most cherished of celebrations. It brought with it the end of the seemingly eternal dark and cold, and Sephiroth’s caress felt like just that.

“I’m sorry. I didn't meant to hurt you,” Cloud blurted in a cracking voice, and he truly meant it from the bottom of his heart.

Cloud thought he couldn’t cry anymore, yet thick, stinging, salty tears filled his eyes when Sephiroth’s thumb stroked his cheek, and he tried in vain to blink them away. He would rather fill his vision with his keeper, his owner… his everything.

When he managed to focus his blurry gaze on Sephiroth, his breath hitched. He truly didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so beautiful before, though it only served to remind him of his own disgraceful state: naked and sprawled, covered in dried, stinking, crusty nastiness. He had to turn his head away, as if him not seeing Sephiroth would spare Sephiroth from seeing him.

Everything felt so surreal, the flawless perfection of the chimera before him, and the utter filth of himself. Was he really there?

“Pet, whatever am I to do with you?” Sephiroth sighed, grazing his hand weightlessly over the expanse of Cloud’s skin.

The touch turned Cloud’s face into a kaleidoscope of feelings; surprise first, then bliss dialed up until it shifted to agony, to desperate, helpless, hopeless, longing for it never to end. The only things that were distinct in their absence was defiance and rejection.

“Love me back,” Cloud whispered mindlessly, like a prayer. In dreams he was allowed to wish for such silliness, right?

Cloud didn’t even notice how his back arched up off of the bed to allow himself to press into that hand on his chest. He was too high-strung, ready to snap if the comforting touch would leave him again. It frightened him to think of what he would do if he lost it. He was sure he would lose his mind if he did.

“Forgive me, gods, please forgive me,” Cloud breathed quietly, getting more delirious with every rapid beat of his heart.

“I’m not sure that I should,” Sephiroth said, sounding as if he’d had a long and trying day. He kept patient and watchful eyes on his pet, seeming to be waiting for something, if only for the energy to take the reins again.

“Just don’t leave me. Please don’t go.”

Cloud felt like he was in the throes of a fever-dream. His pressing need for Sephiroth’s absolution seemed to materialise in his pores in the form of a cold sweat that rekindled the foul stench of his body’s shortcomings. The way Sephiroth had come back to him without resentment. The heavenly touches on his unworthy self.

_ The way he could take Sephiroth’s hand and bring it to his mouth to kiss. _

Surely he was dreaming, but oh gods, how he’d missed this. To  _ actually _ be able to move dizzied him for a moment, and he pressed Sephiroth’s cool hand to his eyelids while he took a shivering breath to steady himself. Though he lay still, he felt like he was falling, or perhaps the world was spinning around him instead. Everything was out of order as long as Sephiroth was angry with him.

He slid one of his hands up Sephiroth’s wrist to push up the sleeve of the black velvet robe he knew so well by now. Then he gently tugged on Sephiroth’s hand to drag the thin skin of his wrist over his lips. Sephiroth went along with it, and the sensation of that godlike being on his lips felt like electricity crackling through his nerves.

He stopped caring whether it was real or not. Reality hadn’t done him any favors lately anyway, so he kept pulling and pulling on that long arm until he could feel Sephiroth’s body heat radiating next to him.

Experimentally, he reached for his legs to pull them together, and although the movement was a bit jerky at first, they moved. Another dizzy spell came over him, which had him squeezing his eyes firmly shut.

It felt like moving through heavy mud, but he managed to curl himself against Sephiroth, feeling the softness of the robe against his shins. He gripped the collar of his robe and pulled himself closer, pulled Sephiroth closer, until he could wrap his arms around Sephiroth’s neck. His fingers awkwardly got caught in the long silver strands and he whined remorsefully as he pressed his face into Sephiroth’s neck.

The relief was so overwhelming he felt like he was drowning in it, and no matter how quickly and deeply he took his breaths, it didn’t help. It felt like he was dying, and he clung desperately to Sephiroth while he struggled harder and harder to take in the air his body craved. His eyes stung so terribly, and his mind was ringing with white noise.

It felt like an eternity before Sephiroth returned the embrace, but once he did it was firm, bordering on crushing, and it was precisely what Cloud needed to finally break. And he  _ needed _ to break. He needed desperately to release the pressure of all his emotions. He cried with sobs that explosively cracked him open. The way they wracked his body nudged the shards of his broken shell apart until they fell away.

It wasn’t the first time he’d been bared like that before Sephiroth, but it was the first time he’d  _ wanted _ it.  _ Wanted _ to be raw before his owner, no, his god. It was a gift to be allowed to stay there until the chaos stilled. Perhaps Sephiroth had frozen time. He’d heard about those kinds of spells.

“What can I do?” Cloud asked eventually in his desert voice. He  _ needed _ forgiveness.

“I don’t know, puppet. What do you think would be suitable?” Sephiroth hummed and breathed in Cloud’s desperate affection.

“Anything you want,” Cloud breathed and clawed himself closer. The way he felt his fingernails dig into the fabric of Sephiroth’s robe had him shiver at the thought of them digging into Sephiroth’s skin.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like? Please let me know! You may also let me know if you hate.
> 
> Oh, and I've forgot to tell you all. "Speaking is silver, Silence is gold" is a proverb used in Sweden, though when I googled it, it actually seems to have Arabic origins! Apparently the common English translation is "  
> Speech is silver, silence is golden". It means roughly something like "Speaking is good but staying quiet is better". Maybe it's self explanatory, maybe not. Who knows? Now you do!
> 
> It was totally picked bc Cloud with his pretty golden hair is silenced in many ways by our beloved Silver General. It was just such a delicious fit. <3


	20. Wait, What Happened to the Maid?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh you know, they're just hanging around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been betaed and named by my very own comma and preposition-advisor [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).

Sephiroth hummed into Cloud’s hair, wanting nothing more than to enjoy his fevered clinging a little longer. It was nice to have that from his pet at the end of the day. It made his bed feel like… a home, he supposed. Something to come home to. He never really felt that from the rest of his apartment, no matter how much he spent on the decorations. He never forgot it was part of Shinra’s headquarters, as well as a part of his workplace.

Cloud’s breathing eventually evened out. Sephiroth could feel his grip loosen, and the scrape of dry lips on the crook of his neck. He drew away to have a proper look at Cloud and couldn’t stop himself from smiling when Cloud gave a little whine in protest.

His hair was a mess, well, messier than usual. The sheen was gone from it, the spikes matte and clinging to that tear-streaked face. Cloud’s eyes were red and swollen, and his lips were visibly chapped. Still, the pale blue eyes kept their appeal, and now met his with docile reverence. It might have been a laughing matter had not Cloud come across as so utterly undeceptive, so straightforward, even for himself. It was captivating.

For a rare moment, he felt like Cloud was reading his mind, since his hands moved from around his neck to his face, caressing it rougher than he’d expected. He all but pulled on the skin there, as if testing it for something. It was adorable, the way he marveled at the contact.

Sephiroth took in a breath to allow for the chuckle that had formed in his chest, but before it had escaped Cloud had pushed their faces together, and those chapped lips were on his, tasting and coaxing. It was strange, it tasted  _ new _ . Next, Cloud’s tongue had pried his mouth open and was invading with explosive hunger. With a sigh, he forgot himself and got swept up in Cloud’s fervor.

Cloud’s grip on his face was forceful and the kiss turned bruising. Their tongues took turns to stroke and be stroked. From the moment their lips had touched, Cloud had started moaning, and each moan steeped plainly with intrepid desire. Each one went straight to his cock, where the pleasure soon multiplied, because Cloud’s leg had found his way around his hips, where it was used to grind them together.

It was when Cloud’s lips finally cracked and the metallic tang flooded his senses he heard the sound of his own voice, producing a rare moan that matched Cloud’s infectious desire perfectly. It startled him into remembering who he was and what he was supposed to do. With well-practiced discipline, he pulled away.

“No!” Cloud gasped, instantly looking as if he was ready to burst into tears again.

“Yes, pet. But don’t worry. I’m not quite done with you yet.”

“I want you,” Cloud breathed with desperation glowing in the depth of his eyes as he tried to get a new grip on Sephiroth and pull him closer.

Sephiroth’s face cracked into a wide, wicked smile. He effortlessly caught Cloud’s wrists and pushed them into the bed, positioning himself to loom over his pet. His eyes raked over that gorgeous body, pushing off the mattress in frenzy, looking for more contact.

“I know, pet,” he murmured into Cloud’s ear, blatantly teasing.

“No, you don’t understand,” Cloud said in a tone that grew heavier with each word, even though he spoke so quietly. “I  _ want _ you.” In that fleeting moment he sounded autocratic, as if he was merely stating what was already his.

Sephiroth pushed farther off the mattress to behold his little pet. The blue eyes had gone dark, and the desperation was gone. Instead, puzzling flames of determination had taken root in those bright blue pools. Sephiroth had seen glimpses of them before, but never understood the source. They always appeared at the most unexpected of times. Such as now.

When Sephiroth’s smile fell from his face, it was as if his smile fell right onto Cloud’s instead. Though perhaps Cloud’s wasn’t quite as wicked, but still far too close for Sephiroth’s liking.

“I know you want me, too,” Cloud said, not bothering to hide his gloating.

“Of course, I do,” Sephiroth snarled. “It’s my job, even when you’re crusted with filth and smell like a public toilet.”

He almost regretted his words when he saw every trace of happiness drain from that pretty face, Cloud’s body language instantly reflecting the self-consciousness that washed over him. Then again, he’d already given Cloud far too much freedom.

He pushed himself off of the blond with a scoff that he hoped was convincing and walked out of the bedroom. Truth be told, he was tired, and he needed a breath away from that annoyingly unpredictable minx. And the minx, it needed water.

He returned with a large glass of water and sat down next to his trying little pet who’d curled into himself again.

“Pet,” he said, calling with a firm but not unkind tone. Cloud just curled further into himself.

“Pet, do you never tire of your lament? Come here.”

He grabbed Cloud’s wrist and forced the ball of his form to turn to him. How he loved how this pet made it so hard for him to be taken care of. It made their time together into a subtle roller-coaster ride that he  _ clearly _ had difficulties resisting.

Cloud fought him weakly with eyes firmly squeezed shut, his head shaking. It made his chest sting in a strangely painful, but not entirely unwelcome way. He brought Cloud’s tightly clenched fist to his mouth and kissed it, draining it of tension.

“Pet,” he hummed into the milky skin of Cloud’s wrist and continued a line of soft kisses up it, until just like that, his pet was nestled, soft, pliant and moist in his lap again.

“If you drink your water properly, I’ll let you wash off before the rest of your punishment.”

“You’ll forgive me then?” Cloud whispered, looking wide-eyed and utterly remorseful again.

“Yes, pet.”

Cloud gave a little nod, took a shy grip on Sephiroth’s lapels, and let his mouth open just a little to show that he was ready to receive.

Sephiroth filled his own mouth with water and put it to Cloud’s to let it seep into him, Cloud whining softly with every mouthful. It was endearing how Cloud chased his lips, visibly conflicted from wanting more of the contact.

It reminded him of Cloud’s shyness when he’d first gotten there.  _ They’d certainly come a long way from that _ , he thought as he licked away an escaping drop of water with the tip of his tongue.

“You’re such a good pet,” he mumbled into Cloud’s cheek, pushing at the sticky, golden strands of hair with his nose.

He could feel Cloud’s shiver from the praise, which made him all the more surprised at what Cloud said next.

“You love all your puppets.”

He had to laugh. Where did Cloud get it from? How was he even awake? He had to exert more of his own discipline training than he cared to admit to not give the flirtatious reply Cloud was fishing after. But he knew. He’d never been above picking favorites, and Cloud was certainly rising rapidly among them.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said and gave Cloud’s cute little butt a playful pinch while lifting his pet into his arms and starting off towards the bathroom.

He was certain he felt a smile just as wide as his own against the side of his neck. It spelled trouble, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. What could the little cadet possibly do, to have any repercussions in his life anyway? He was The Silver General, after all.

Sephiroth made gentle but efficient work of cleaning the little pet from the ‘dirt’ he seemed to hate so much. Though Cloud could move around a little, the paralyzing agent hadn’t worn off enough for Cloud to stand or walk around by himself.

Instead, Cloud was using his range of movements to sweetly cling to him in the shower, shyly reaching for every opportunity to touch. He wasn’t as presumptuous as many of his other ‘puppets’ had been once they regained their ability to move. He didn’t palm for anything within his reach, but kept his hands on his arms and hips, but would let his thumbs trace the little rises and dips of his muscles and bones. Sweet little telltales that told him where Cloud’s focus was.

When he prepared the toothbrush to brush Cloud’s teeth, he’d expected Cloud to take it from him, or ask for it. Instead Cloud just opened his mouth, looking up at him with wide, attentive eyes that were seeking contact instead of shying away from it. He found it deeply satisfying when the blond was like this with him; calm and trusting. With Cloud, he felt like he’d earned it.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a good weekend! <3


	21. Cloud is a Little Boat Lost at Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Speh the love slug (that's an internal joke based on poor late-night spelling) gives Cloud a proper sounding. It's "punishment". I know what you're thinking: "Yeah right lol. WHATEVER." I completely agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been betaed by my steady writing companion, [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).

Cloud seemed to grow more sluggish by the second after he’d been cleaned off, as if some immeasurably heavy weight had been washed off him and discarded down the drain. Sephiroth didn’t mind. Hopefully it’d make the rest of the evening short, since he felt a bit worn out himself.

He hadn’t really meant to leave Cloud alone for that long, but he’d been uncertain of how to approach this little pet again. They weren’t usually so… spirited.

With Cloud collected in his arms he walked back into the bedroom where the staff had already gotten rid of the soiled sheets and mattress. Cloud was still clinging to him fiercely even though he seemed half-asleep, but he managed to twist out of his grip without causing too much disturbance.

A quick trip to the playroom and back had him returning with a flat box, a box of gloves and sterile lube. The realisation that he hadn’t once taken Cloud into the playroom nipped at his attention, but he skilfully ignored it. There was still time to take him there, and if he didn’t, so what? It was just a coincidence, or a series of coincidences.

When he came back to the bedroom, he found Cloud sitting on the edge of the bed with the top bedside drawer open and the only photograph of himself as a child in his hands. The one with Professor Gast and Professor Hojo on either side of him.

He cursed himself for not having dosed Cloud properly with the paralysation agent, but he had nobody to blame but himself. He should have known better. He  _ had _ known better, but he still hadn’t dealt with it.

“Who’s Professor Gast?” Cloud asked carefully, reading the name scribbled on the back, sounding as if he were fully aware he’d found something forbidden. He kept his eyes averted, carefully turning the photograph in his hands.

Putting the items he carried down temporarily on the bed, Sephiroth took Cloud’s wrists and gave a hefty squeeze until Cloud let go of the photograph with a hiss.

“That is not for your eyes, pet,” Sephiroth said, boring his eyes into the blond.

He dragged Cloud by the wrists to the middle of the bed and arranged Cloud’s shapely legs around his waist. He let his hands brush over that milky skin, still warm and moist from the shower, opting for distraction.

Cloud frowned and tried to rub the blunder from his aching wrists. Eventually he fell back onto the mattress with a curbed sigh, rolling his eyes in frustration.

Sephiroth pursed his lips to hide a smile, tugged disposable rubber gloves on and let them brush along Cloud’s length and circled the opening experimentally, gauging the appropriate size for what he planned to do next.

He let one hand play lazily in that pretty patch of golden hair while he opened the lube and poured a liberal amount over Cloud’s still soft but twitching member.

“Are you going to jerk me off until I pass out,  _ sir _ ?” Cloud mumbled without opening his eyes.

“Would you want me to?” Sephiroth asked in that dead-pan way that seemed so characteristic for him.

“Sure, why not? Sounds like a _terrible_ punishment.” Cloud grinned and wiped away some drool at the corners of his mouth. It felt like he was melting into the mattress, it was _so_ _good_ to be clean in clean sheets again. He had difficulties stopping the view he had in front of him from blending together with the dreams flashing on the backs of his eyelids every time he blinked.

Sephiroth hummed and opened the lid of the box that contained an array of metal sounds, all with the same elegant curve and a slightly beaded tip in different sizes. He picked one that he deemed large enough to not cause piercing damage but small enough to fit, hoping that it would still intimidate the little blond, at least in the beginning.

Just as he had predicted, the blond opened his eyes with a gasp when he ran the cold metal along the sensitive head of Cloud’s cock.

“What’s that?” Cloud gasped and laboriously eased himself up on his elbows.

“A sound,” Sephiroth said plainly with amusement playing around the wrinkles of his eyes. He took Cloud’s length in hand and placed the tip to the opening, teasing it, feeling his chest filling with pleasure as Cloud’s eyes filled with fear.

“No! No, no, no,” Cloud breathed, feeling a dizzy spell coming on. He sat up and grabbed onto Sephiroth’s arms but didn’t dare try pulling them away. He settled for the comfort of the touch. 

His eyes flicked between Sephiroth’s face glowing with anticipation and the pale hands holding the metal rod that looked grotesque, if only because he understood where Sephiroth intended it to go. He hoped he’d gotten it wrong.

“Yes, pet.”

“It won’t fit!”

“It won’t?” Sephiroth purred with feigned curiosity. “How do you know? Have you tried one before?”

Cloud huffed and frowned but couldn’t come up with anything to say. The smooth metal stole warmth from him, sending cold shivers up his spine. He couldn’t stop staring, expecting to panic, but nothing of the sort welled up in him. Nothing but tiredness and resignation.

“Will it hurt?” Cloud asked, his mouth dry, feeling that desperate urge to seek comfort in Sephiroth again.

“Perhaps. If you fight me, pet. Don’t.”

Cloud’s brows knitted together tighter, and a little whine of hopelessness escaped him. His hands climbed up Sephiroth’s arms and he leaned closer until he could nod with his forehead resting on Sephiroth’s shoulder.

“Good, pet. Be still, or you’ll get hurt.”

“If I get hurt,” Cloud paused to draw in a breath, “you’ll heal me, right?” He leaned away to cautiously gaze into those eerily beautiful, green glowing eyes that seemed to register everything about him in such intimidating detail. He wondered if he’d ever get used to being seen like that.

There was a moment where they measured each other up, a moment that Sephiroth didn’t appreciate. It was another occurrence that only seemed to happen with Cloud. A moment that reminded him of his responsibilities and duties to the blond. He knew his place and his role, but he wasn’t used to getting reminded of it by those below him. He was used to blind and quite frankly, immediate submission.

Cloud’s eyes remained heavy and expectant on him, so bright and unyielding, even though a sweet mixture of fear, arousal and residual sleepiness dulled them slightly. It reminded him of his own fatigue, so he simply said the truth, though he felt Cloud hadn’t quite earned it.

“I will.”

Cloud hummed, visibly relaxing with the reply, and let his hands glide down to rest on Sephiroth’s lower arms. Sephiroth felt how Cloud’s breaths changed from nervousness to deference, and it made the air between them all the more sweeter.

He slicked the sound and positioned it to enter. With a gentle nudge, the tip went inside. He cast a quick, warning glance when Cloud’s breath caught in his throat and everything about Cloud tensed up.

“Stop fighting it, pet.” Sephiroth said sternly.

“I don’t know how!” Cloud protested breathily, his nails digging into Sephiroth’s skin.

“Take a deep breath,” Sephiroth instructed, his features softening as Cloud obeyed.

“Good. Now, let it out slowly.”

The hiss of Cloud expelling air filled the room, and Cloud’s fingernails dug deeper into his skin. The sensation made him smile. He eased his grip on the sound and let it slip between his fingers. Its natural weight was all it needed to go in.

Cloud stared at the metal rod with utter horror as it slipped into him with a shocking lack of resistance. At first, he felt the rush of a burning sensation that made him yelp and clutch at Sephiroth, but it quickly dulled away. After that he felt with bizarre clarity how he was being stretched and filled where he wasn’t supposed to be.

The rod kept sinking deeper into him, dragging his thoughts down with it, until he felt like he was underwater. Time seemed to slow, and sounds turned muddled. It was so strange, it wasn’t painful like he’d expected, only indescribably intense in a way that boggled the mind. With a flash of desperation, he rubbed his palms over Sephiroth’s arms. He wanted to feel something familiar and understandable, but it wasn’t helping much at all.

Low, hesitant sounds from the back of his throat came with every movement of the metal inside of him. He whined and groaned into Sephiroth’s shoulder with his bleeding need for comfort and familiarity. He scoured for a lifeline that would lead him back to the sanity he felt slipping through his grasp with every heartbeat but didn’t find anything that was even remotely enough.

One of his hands flicked to his own stomach, trying to still his own spasming abdominal muscles as they reacted to the strange intrusion, but if he looked at Sephiroth moving the rod there was barely any movement to see.

When Sephiroth spoke, it felt like the sound had travelled for miles before it reached him. The sound was warm and soft, wrapping around him like a blanket that made his mouth fall open in a soft, incoherent ‘ah.’

“How is it, pet?”

Cloud just looked at that perfect mouth moving and without warning, goosebumps erupted all over his body, along with another involuntary moan. He could hear the tinkling sound of Sephiroth’s laughter, and he felt his own mouth pulling into a fleeting smile before the metal scraped against his insides, his mind, and ultimately his understanding of reality. All he could do was try to keep breathing.

The sound was cold, stiff and unbending inside him, reminding him of Sephiroth’s will. He could feel it forcing its way deeper against his fragile insides, but he couldn’t really tell if it was wholly unwelcome any longer.

“Puppet,” Sephiroth murmured and brushed his thumb over Cloud’s lower lip, transfixed by the way Cloud was falling into pieces before him. With a miniscule tug, he confirmed the position of the sound; it was seated just at the entrance of Cloud’s prostate.

He let the moment stretch and scraped the fingernail of his thumb along the ridges of Cloud’s upper teeth, enjoying the dazed blinking and barely audible moans. They sounded wet and confused, coming in a steady stream from his darling little pet.

“You’re doing so well,” he mumbled softly, and to his delight, Cloud opened up wider for him, almost reflexively.

He gladly took to exploring the inside of Cloud’s mouth with the pads of his fingers, just like he had before on so many nights. To keep his other hand sliding up and down the protruding end of the sound was enough to keep Cloud reminded of it.

He savoured every hum and whimper, and the way Cloud clung to him, until he felt the compulsion to shove his whole hand down Cloud’s throat. Of course, he hadn’t planned on dislocating Cloud’s jaw tonight, so he withdrew and quickly focused his attention elsewhere.

“Give me your hand, puppet,” Sephiroth purred in a low, sweet voice. He had to ask twice before Cloud let go of his arm. Cloud’s eyes had drifted closed, and his every breath was laboured, panting,  _ exquisite _ .

Sephiroth guided Cloud’s hand to his stuffed and throbbing erection. Cloud shook his head and dry, exasperated, little sobs escaped him. He behaved as if his dick would fall off if he touched it.

“Come now, puppet. You shouldn’t be afraid of your own body.” With gentle yet firm encouragement, he soon had Cloud gripping himself properly and carefully stroking up and down his engorged shaft.

“Tell me what you feel,” Sephiroth purred and crawled down to place lingering kisses on Cloud’s fingers and that very full and throbbing erection.

“Can’t,” Cloud breathed.

“Try, puppet,” Sephiroth patiently tried again.

“Wrong.” How could he possibly put what he was feeling into words? It was too much and not enough at once. Alarming in the same way that pain was, but without any of the sharpness. Pleasure with an intensity that was too powerful to process. It felt violent, though Sephiroth’s touches were nothing but perfectly measured tranquility. Nothing about it was simple. It was invasive, and it was completely drowning him in sensations he had no idea his body could produce.

“Hmm, is that so?” He grinned against Cloud’s hot, slick skin before licking soft, lush lines up Cloud’s length, around that sensitive head, and up to where the metal disappeared into that pretty, red flesh.

“Gods,” Cloud whined and pressed down on his own chest, trying to still himself and the racing heart that threatened to blow his chest open.

“Do you feel suitably punished?” Sephiroth grabbed the smooth, shiny metal and pulled on it carefully, easing it out, then letting it drop back down, just a fraction of an inch.

“I don’t know!” Cloud sobbed, feeling like his brain was about to short circuit once and for all.

He could feel the sound bottoming out against something of a threshold inside him. So much of the rod had disappeared inside of him already. Every sensation it caused seemed impossible, but kept happening anyway.

When Sephiroth angled it up and gave it a gentle push he felt something inside him give way. He looked on in horror as his body seemed to be sucking the sound deeper on its own accord. The surprise and  _ the pressure _ had him biting back a scream and he reached out to hold on to Sephiroth as if his life depended on it. As if he really were drowning.

“Breathe, puppet, or you’ll make yourself faint.” Sephiroth patiently stroked those damp, golden strands until Cloud’s breaths had evened out a little. When Cloud’s grip on him relaxed, and he felt those chapped lips grazing against his chest he began to carefully rock the sound, now well-seated inside Cloud’s prostate.

“Does it feel good, pet?” he murmured quietly, more to let himself be known rather than expecting any kind of answer.

Cloud could feel his eyes tearing up with the intense pressure whipping up inside him. Every time Sephiroth tugged on the sound his body reacted as if release was building inside him, but as soon as the rod stilled the feeling faded, leaving only a torturous void that would surely be filled with the next tug. It felt like he was in a meat grinder, or perhaps, that a meat grinder was inside him. It felt reductive, as if Sephiroth was boiling him down; one part evaporating into the air, leaving the other more concentrated.

At first, Sephiroth’s movements were slow, and he could somehow keep up with them, but soon the rhythm quickened, or even broke, leaving him hopelessly unprepared for the squalls of tension the sound wrung from him. The strain, pressure and pleasure were above and beyond anything he’d ever felt before.

He quickly became a pulsating mess, and every minuscule incursion lit up his nerves farther and farther away from the source of friction, until his every nerve rang out in longing. The memory of his first time flashed before his mind; how he’d felt Sephiroth inscribing himself into his body. This was so much worse, so much more invasive and raw in a way that he couldn’t wrap his head around.

But Sephiroth kept on pushing deeper, unfolding the fragile linings of his insides, awakening every hidden away part of him to unspeakable, terrifying pleasure that had his mouth moving and his vocal cords making sounds that made no sense. It was as if that rod was groping, searching for his soul, wanting to tear it to pieces, and he truly thought he would go mad any second.

Just then Sephiroth stilled his movements. He could feel Sephiroth holding him and that deep, velvety voice talking to him, although he didn’t understand what was said. Had his body lost the ability to understand human language? Was that something that happened when someone lost their mind?

He desperately pulled himself closer and tried to push through the haze of his consciousness. His efforts were cut short by soft, damp kisses falling on his face, reminding him of the kind of rain that seemed so light it simply materialised on the skin. When they fell on his lips, he felt them saturated with that familiar, burning intensity he knew from the nights with the gag. Without a shadow of a doubt he welcomed them immediately and wholeheartedly. And with them, the rest of Sephiroth followed.

Sephiroth was on his tongue, sliding down it, down his throat and was swallowed into his stomach, leaving behind the heady flavour of flowers and musk. Sephiroth was breathed into his lungs. They had been too small, so they were made to expand until they were the size of a cathedral. Sephiroth needed the space, and he needed the space for Sephiroth.

Sephiroth was confining him, finally grounding him, keeping him from crumbling as he was breached from below, making him fuller yet. Sephiroth trickled in through his ears, riding on a groan, like a velvet ribbon that tied itself in a pretty, lacey knot around his mind. He didn’t -couldn’t- oppose it anymore. It was everything he could remember ever wanting.

And then Sephiroth moved.

He could feel the fervor with which he clawed at that warm, flawless skin. It peeled off in thin shavings that collected under his fingernails. He could feel the burning strain of his muscles cramping. It hurt and he wanted to scream, but his keeper, his god, must have wanted it like that. Everywhere his god was, so was his god’s pleasure with him, and that made his heart  _ soar  _ with uncontaminated, blinding joy. His voice was muffled; stolen by the lips of god directly from his own mouth, and he was happy to give it up.

His god was happy with him, he could tell, because his god kept pushing further, burrowing deeper inside him, washing him in more of the unholy, ruinous pleasure that he wasn’t sure was destroying or ascending him.

Everything around him and inside him was overflowing with liquid warmth, and it made him shudder, then quake. There was a queer moment when he expected to fall down, but his god only kept pressing at his every edge, curling and coiling inside him, suspending him in ecstasy that he was sure would rip the last fragment of sanity from him. The realisation that he would gladly give that up too, made the pleasure erupt with even more violence.

It went on for long enough that he managed to piece together enough of his thoughts to marvel over how long he had been kept in that state. In the midst of all sensations, he was aimlessly struck by the idea to look around, so he did.

He saw that lovely porcelain hand still manipulating the metal that disappeared into him. He lifted his head to see the piercing green eyes with their eerie slits keenly reading his every movement. He could see those lips that he loved to watch move and form words long before he heard them. He followed the curve of them up the nose and over the plains of his cheeks found that he loved them too, so very much. If he looked closely, he could see them covered by the finest white down, and he reached out to touch it.

He had to laugh when Sephiroth's expression morphed into one of rare, blatant surprise. Those perfect lips were talking to him again, caressing him with their low, soft tone. He watched as that wonderful porcelain hand started easing the metal out of him. It felt sore, but he couldn’t stop laughing. He couldn’t take his own body seriously anymore. It didn’t matter, it didn’t belong to him anyway.

When the last of the metal slipped out of him, pent-up release welled up and overflowed. It looked outrageous, and felt inconceivably good, but he cared for nothing other than throwing himself in the arms of his god. Even with his head on the chest of his beloved and his heartbeat slowing, revealing his body as a spent, dull ache, he couldn’t stop giggling. 

It took a long time before he could make sense of the voice that had drifted in his direction. It came to him like an echo or an afterthought, pressed into his skull from the hand that ceaselessly raked through his hair.

“Puppet?”

“Pet?”

“Cloud?”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, it's election day for US. It's a bad day for the whole world. I can't say more about it because I am fucking busy with other fucking shit. 
> 
> What I can do is offer you some (hopefully) distracting smut. Let's all wait for this to pass, shall we?
> 
> Hope that took at last ten minutes out of this day for you. <3 Many voluntary supportive hugs to whoever needs it. <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Seph have a konversation. Kinda. Cloud goes to the toilet. xD
> 
> No, on a serious note, I want to put out a disclaimer here:
> 
> This is a story I'm writing for distraction and filthy smut-purposes only. I haven't taken it very seriously (which, granted, is still pretty serious), and I think it will grow even more unrealistic than it already has been. At the end of this story I'll write a discussion on the 'serious' aspects of it as I myself see it.
> 
> As many of you already are already aware, a lot of abuse (especially sexual abuse) pass under the radar of abuse when the aspect of 'love' comes into play. But wether 'real love' or not is in play, the abuse is always real and very serious. 
> 
> This is a dynamic that is often portrayed without comment, and I think that is very damaging to our understanding of both love and abuse. So, I hereby comment on this aspect, fully acknowledging that I myself am putting another one of those very problematic stories out there.
> 
> Bc, it's sefikura, hot as fuck and I fucking can't help myself. I'm only human. *shrug*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not yet been betaed or named, but it probably will be.

“Cloud?”

Sephiroth soft voice dragged over Cloud’s skin, looking for a fissure or crack through which it could enter. Of course, it found one, Cloud was full of them after all. He knew, he could feel several of them throb, burn, ache or tickle.

When his name entered his body everything came to a halt, even his simmering giggles. He tried to push that voice out again, because what it carried now would rupture his fragmented mind even more.

He could never have known that the highest pinnacles of pleasure would be climbed during such precarious conditions. That those heights had been anything but pure. They’d been inseparably intertwined with desperate heartache, pain and truly debilitating strains on his body.

And now, he felt himself being smashed into pieces again by the voice he knew so well. For once it wasn’t filled with smugness, glee or cruelty. It simply carried his name; called him for himself. Not puppet or pet. Nothing derogatory. He never would have guessed something so banal could hurt him so much, or be something that he’d wanted so much.

Misery seeped into him in the wake of his name, like a toxic miasma. It slithered in through his ears, tickled his nose and his sinuses, stung his eyes and burned his lungs. He did the best he could to hide it, the humiliation of being bothered by something so simple. If Sephiroth noticed, he’d know. He’d know _everything_. Even the things that Cloud wasn’t ready to admit to himself. That added the foul seasoning of fear to the incapacitating agony. 

He kept his mouth open, breathing shallow in order to keep himself quiet. He forced his muscles to relax, letting himself get heavy against that chest that he admired so much. He tried to listen to Sephiroth’s heartbeat, tried to find comfort in it, but at the moment it only sounded like drums beating for his doom.

He found doom approaching in Sephiroth’s increasingly questioning touches; every one of them called for him. The moment Sephiroth would turn his face it would all be over, and that thought washed him in a powerful hatred. It wasn’t really aimed at anyone. Not Sephiroth, not himself. The world maybe. The world that had made them both and put them there. He would _not_ have chosen it. Not even if-

“We should get you to the toilet, pet.” Sephiroth murmured with a voice full of satisfaction and sleepiness. He gently started pulling Cloud into his arms.

Cloud’s hands flew up to hide his face in panic. How should he arrange his expression? Angry? Sad? No, definitely not sad- 

“Pet?”

The one syllable diminutive cut into him like a warm knife would cut butter. No! No, no, no. Sephiroth had called him by his name, and now it was taken back, as if it hadn’t been of any importance. Just a mindless afterthought. He wanted to cry, and scream. Oh gods, it was happening again. He was so tired. How would he keep himself together this time?

“Please don’t look,” Cloud squeaked in the most pathetic sound he’d ever heard himself produce. He hated himself for it, but he had no energy to do anything else. His body was still shivering from the exertion of… _that_. He didn’t even know what to call it, what Sephiroth had just put him through, and he was too tired to think about it.

Sephiroth placed his hands on top of Cloud’s and stroked those pretty little knuckles. He imagined the soft bones underneath that soft skin. Always so fragile. He hummed softly. It had become a reflex. Hums were non-committal, but people would read what they needed, wanted or feared into them. Mostly it worked in his favour. He didn’t make any attempts to pull Cloud’s hands from his face. He knew that what was under there would stay.

“You know?” Cloud said in bitter accusation, his voice hollow and shivering.

A charged, uncomfortable moment passed.

“I do, pet.” Sephiroth replied with reluctance.

He _lived_ it with reluctance. He’d done this to so many others before, and usually it didn’t bother him. Then again, usually he didn’t really initiate this kind of ‘discipline’ himself. Usually he’d be instructed who was supposed to be put through it. It wasn’t until now that he realised that his own responsibility might have weighed more heavily on his conscience than he’d realised. Ideas of a troubled conscience were not readily cultivated in Shinra. If anything, they were most often a source of ridicule. But some of his puppets had tried to appeal to it. They’d failed, but at times it had him thinking.

The only orders he’d given on his own that had impact in others’ lives were those on the battlefield. To initiate this with Cloud had been a snap decision, and one that had very little to do with Cloud's little dusts with his fellow infantry-men. It had everything to do with Zack, and that was not something he gladly admitted to himself. Cloud started shivering more, and he felt the guilt weigh on his mind. Not regret, only guilt.

“I cherish it, your undying love and devotion. Thank you,” he said without any frills and kissed Cloud’s knuckles.

It was true. It would serve his purpose well to have it. Zack would never leave him because Cloud couldn’t anymore either. It was underhanded and foul, but he’d wanted that much for himself. Especially after Genesis’ defection and Angeal’s death. He would never say so to anyone else, but he had no idea what he’d done if he and Zack hadn’t… gotten closer.

Cloud let his hands turn into fists and dropped them onto Sephiroth’s chest. From somewhere deep inside his bones rage was welling up, and it felt absolutely uncontrollable.

“I didn’t give it to you. You took it from me!” Cloud drilled his reddened eyes into Sephiroth. He could feel his pupils contract as if he was looking into the sun. It hurt.

“You took it from me!” Cloud's voice rose to a scream, and his fists rose only to land in futile blows that did nothing to stir Sephiroth.

“I hate you!” he screamed. As soon as the words left him he felt shame for how childish they sounded and the blows stopped. He found himself staring at Sephiroth. He looked tired. More tired than Cloud had ever seen him before. And looked genuinely concerned.

“That may be, pet, but I’ve found the heart can hold many emotions at once.” Sephiroth said and brushed strands of gold out of Cloud’s face.

Cloud could feel the anger subside as quickly as it had come, and all that was left was empty tiredness, so he let himself drift down onto Sephiroth’s chest where strong arms folded around him.

“I hate you,” Cloud groaned so low it almost sounded like a purr and gave Sephiroth a most half-hearted bite on the neck. Another childish gesture.

Sephiroth chuckled quietly. It wasn’t a happy one, but an accepting one, and Cloud found it lovely just the same.

“Puppet, we really should get you to the toilet.”

Sephiroth stirred to get them out of bed, provoking subdued protests from the unruly blond.

“I hate it when you call me that.”

Sephiroth hummed while gently collecting Cloud in his arms.

“Can’t you stop?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, pet.” 

“Why not?” 

“You forget your place enough as it is, cadet Cloud Strife.”

Cloud felt the hairs on the back of his neck rising and his cheeks flushing, even though he was unsure if he was being scolded or teased.

“Isn’t my place in your arms, _sir_?” Cloud mumbled into Sephiroth’s neck, not knowing if he was joking or flirting or both.

“Hmm… Well, now it’s on my toilet,” Sephiroth said with amusement dancing in his voice while he placed Cloud on the toilet chair. “Would you like some privacy?”

Cloud looked at Sephiroth in disbelief. “All this time, all these things, and now you ask if I want some privacy?”

“Well... I thought you’ve had a day.” Sephiroth shrugged, almost looking apologetic.

Cloud felt stranger and stranger as he found himself unsure of whether he wanted to be _on the toilet_ alone or not. What the hell?

“Oh. Okay then.”

It wasn’t really what he wanted, but he thought it was what he should do, what he _should_ want. He frowned when the stream passed, and then he just sat there for a while, elbows on knees and head in his hands, feeling the weight of his weariness.

He wiped himself down and somehow managed to get up, leaning heavily against the sink, so that he could see himself in the mirror. He looked like himself, but different. The eyes peering back at him looked like someone else’s. Someone older, somehow. But he looked healthy. No one could have guessed he’d spent the last few… how long had he been there? He wasn’t sure. 

“Hey, my legs feel like jelly,” he said in a conversational tone he knew Sephiroth would pick up wherever he was in the apartment.

Sephiroth stepped into the bathroom seconds later, with a look of amusement and offence that sent a little shiver of thrill through Cloud. He was easily scooped up into those arms again. He did feel _right_ in them. There really wasn’t any denying that any longer. 

“How long have I been here?” he murmured against Sephiroth’s skin, trapping silver strands against it.

“Nearly three weeks.”

“Oh.”

Cloud was put down to sit at the edge of the bed, but before Sephiroth had time to get on it too Cloud stopped him and dragged him to stand in front of him. 

“I wanna touch you.” Cloud mumbled and rested his head against Sephiroth’s hip.

“Pet, I’d rather not.”

“Why? I know you enjoy a warm mouth just as much as anyone.” Cloud echoed Sephiroth’s own stinging words back to him with an adept blend of smugness and persuasion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weekend. I write smut, you write comments? YES? NO? COMMON!!! ;) <3


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud gets the reins for a bit. This chapter contains sefikura smut. Smut smut smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has had it's first touch-ups from the legendary [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).

Sephiroth looked down at his pet, who still looked as if he’d pass out any second now, even though he still had so much bite. And he  _ did _ feel bad for Cloud. He himself had had countless days where his choices had been taken from him. He remembered how bitter it used to make him. He could wait a little bit longer to sleep.

“Fine, pet. Do what you want.”

Cloud let his hands drift to the back of Sephiroth’s knees and ran his fingertips over the thin skin there.

“Are you ticklish?”

“No.” Hojo had altered his nerves to take that out of him a long time ago. It had been an excruciating procedure. He’d screamed himself hoarse down in the labs. It wasn’t until much later that he appreciated the alteration. It _could_ have been exploited as a weakness. Hojo had been right.

“Mmm, what do you like?” Cloud mumbled into Sephiroth’s flawless skin, perfectly stretched over perfect, perfect muscles.

The air became strange, tense in a different way; Sephiroth didn’t reply. Cloud eventually looked up to that gorgeous being, finding a surprising amount of confusion there. Perhaps even some embarrassment. 

“What do you mean?” Sephiroth asked with a subtle frown.

Cloud blinked a few times before it dawned on him Sephiroth had not understood his question.

“How do you like to be touched?” Cloud tried again, leaning back to give Sephiroth a little space.

Sephiroth’s frown deepened. “Any way is fine.”

“I didn’t ask for what you’re fine with, I asked you what you  _ like _ .”

As silence stretched between them, Cloud realised he’d probably stepped into something precarious again.

“I haven’t really thought about it.” Sephiroth told the half-truth as dismissively as he could. Angeal had asked him, showed him, taught him. Brought order to the chaos, probably much the same as he’d done for Zack. But that was a long time ago. Since then, things had become very different. The people who had ‘touched him’ had done so for  _ their _ reasons, not his. His job was to be their projection surface, not himself. Perhaps somewhere along the way he’d lost what he’d originally wanted for himself. 

“Alright,” Cloud said carefully, “Can you think about it now?” He ran his hands slowly up and down Sephiroth’s sides, tracing the divine curves with his fingers. It made his arms feel both light and heavy at the same time.

Sephiroth gave another one of his non-committal hums. In the beginning, he just stood there with arms resting at his sides while Cloud stroked more of his skin and placed little kisses on his hips and stomach. His breath was warm and moist, comfortable. It was pleasant. Nothing like the cold, impersonal touches he’d experienced in the labs or even worse, the giddy touches of fawning lab-personnel. That was his only firm minimum requirement. 

Cloud swallowed his pride and shyness and made himself ask the next question. “Would you like to come?” He mumbled it into Sephiroth’s skin, addressing it, instead of the intimidatingly impressive figure in front of him. The ground underneath him was shaky enough, anyway.

“Not particularly, pet.”

“Okay, but this is okay?” Cloud let his hands glide to Sephiroth’s impressive buttocks and caressed them, squeezed them, and pulled Sephiroth’s front against himself. The gesture was similar to how Sephiroth often touched him in the mornings. He’d wondered more than once if Sephiroth had wanted someone to hold him like that, too.

A decidedly content hum filled the room, and Sephiroth’s hands came to rest on Cloud’s shoulders. Cloud couldn’t help but to shudder. He adorned every dip in Sephiroth’s abs with the wet trace of a kiss and let his hand glide down to the back of Sephiroth’s thigh. He didn’t know that part of the body could be so… well defined. Still, Sephiroth’s shape wasn’t vulgar at all, not like some of the muscles he’d seen on the Second Class soldiers, or Zack’s, for that matter.

He let his fingertips graze the soft insides of Sephiroth’s thighs and followed the joins of the muscles all the way down to the calves. All of it was simply exquisite. Though it was heady, he was careful not to speed up his movements. He kept his focus on Sephiroth, his breath, whether he leaned into him or not, listening for sounds, in case there were any.

He wanted to give himself time to keep up with what was happening and Sephiroth time to think, if it was true that he wasn’t used to considering what he wanted. 

“And is this okay?” Cloud mumbled and kissed a slow trail down to the patch of silver hair in front of him. 

“Your mouth is very warm indeed, pet.” Sephiroth said, taking a belittling tone, though his heart wasn’t truly in it. His pet’s mouth was sublime. Always so warm, delicate and ready to be ruined. The memory of it around him made him slowly begin to swell. His arousal wasn’t pressing or overpowering, but simply enjoyable in the midst of Cloud’s tentative touches. 

When Cloud grazed Sephiroth’s growing erection, it wasn’t lost on him that it was somehow ironic that he was being so careful with someone who’d been anything but careful with him. It didn’t change what he wanted to do though, or who he wanted to be in the situation they were in. He did not want to be to Sephiroth what Sephiroth had been to him. What he wanted was different. He wanted to show care.

He hoped he could convey that somehow in his touches. He took the thought of that onto his tongue and wrapped it tenderly around the tip of Sephiroth’s hardening flesh. It tasted like pure sin, like always. Nothing on a human body was supposed to taste that good.

He could feel another deep shudder of pleasure rip through Sephiroth, as his hand came to play in his hair. It made his scalp tingle, sending shiver after shiver down his spine. He could feel Sephiroth leaning into his touches and he let Sephiroth press up against him as much as he could while he nipped and waited for the hot and heavy flesh to reach full hardness.

It felt good. Just as good as he’d thought to be close like that; with participation. It was utter bliss to be able to set the pace and to be able to process any of it for once. If he hadn’t cried so much already, he might have shed tears of joy. 

“Suck me, pet,” Sephiroth requested, sounding unflustered, but Cloud wondered.

“Did you change your mind about coming?” he asked and smiled into the skin slickened with his own saliva, enjoying exploring the texture of Sephiroth’s balls. He should have thought they were ugly, but he found them cute. He stifled the urge to roll his eyes at himself.

“We’ll see,” came the soft reply from above him.

Cloud chuckled softly, giving the tip a few kisses before he took Sephiroth in to rest on his tongue. It made his mouth water obscenely, and he found it fascinating. He closed his mouth over that thick length that now felt familiar and welcome. He sucked the tip with the help of his tongue, he let it slide experimentally against the insides of his cheeks and he pressed it against the roof of his mouth.

Only when he heard the approximation of a sigh and felt the hands in his hair grip a little tighter did he move his head forward, taking Sephiroth deeper into his mouth. He found that he really could enjoy himself doing this. It was like a game; trying out different ways of stimulation, listening for Sephiroth’s subtle responses, and well, his own, too.

He found he had sensitive areas in his mouth that sparked pleasure that ran through him like a burning fuse that set off eruptions of heat in his pelvis. It made even his smallest, already spent muscles throb again with a sweet, dull ache. He wondered if those sweet spots had always been there, or if they had been conditioned by Sephiroth.

With his hands on Sephiroth’s firm buttocks, he tilted his head back and made Sephiroth’s erection slowly glide towards the back of his throat along the roof of his mouth. He deliberately let the point of contact creep closer to the point where he would gag, freely enjoying the limitations of his own body, until he accidentally crossed them. He felt it first in his stomach; the full bodied convulsion that clamped his tongue and throat down over the fullness of Sephiroth in his mouth.

Though it was uncomfortable in a way, it was also incredibly sensual, and Sephiroth let out a soft hum of approval. To his surprise the arousal in his own body amplified sharply with each spasm. He slid himself off to catch his breath and wrap his head around his own response to gagging. Surely, that must have been conditioned, but it felt overwhelmingly good, anyway. 

“Had enough, puppet?” Sephiroth purred in a low voice. He lifted Cloud’s face to bask for a moment in the bright love and devotion he knew he’d find there, concealing his will by wiping off pre-come and saliva from Cloud. It was beyond a doubt one of the sweetest things he’d ever seen in his life.

“No, have you?” Cloud replied soberly, feeling simmering blood rush to his face and pour down his neck at Sephiroth’s heated gaze.

“No, pet.”

Cloud let his fingers drift deeper into the crack of Sephiroth’s backside. He took Sephiroth back into his mouth, slowly impaling himself on the thick flesh, edging around that border on his gag-reflex until he felt ready, and then willingly crossed it. This time Sephiroth let out a quiet, proper moan.

Cloud’s eyes teared up, drool and Sephiroth’s pre-come spilling down his chin and down on his chest to his lap. His muscles were protesting and he himself was now leaking, spilling sticky strings onto the floor, but he found that he  _ loved  _ every bit of it. On one hand, he felt disgusted with himself for enjoying the feeling of being violated, even more so to think that he was now willingly doing that to himself.

On the other hand, the hands in his hair that tightened their grip and the creamy voice that tickled his senses made his efforts feel acknowledged. He felt cherished and useful. The mixture of his emotions was such a potent rush. Sephiroth was absolutely right, one could hold so many emotions at once. And so, when Cloud brought himself to gag on Sephiroth’s cock over and over again, it was with full understanding.

“You’re such a good pet,” Sephiroth murmured as Cloud rested his messy face on his hip, his moist breath washing sweetly over his stomach. Cloud directed his blue eyes up, blinking away excess moisture, but lowered them just as quick, as if he’d been blinded by what he’d seen. Sephiroth found it amusing and endearing.

Sephiroth felt his own arousal with abundant clarity, but it had a warmer, more intimate tinge than what he’d come to expect in the last few years. It made him greedy for more, but he didn’t want to alter the atmosphere. He was quite happy with watching Cloud so sedately choking on his cock. He decided instead to position his legs further apart, placing his hand on top of Cloud’s, effectively beckoning for Cloud’s unassuming touches to intensify. 

He could feel Cloud’s surprise like a tremor that was passed between them, and then Cloud caught on and let his fingers skim gingerly over his opening. It was nice, but not enough. 

Cloud could hardly believe his senses when he found Sephiroth’s opening absolutely dripping with warm slickness. It sent another dizzying rush through his head, but the cock now lodged deep in his mouth didn’t allow for much recuperation.

He was sure he was passed out and dreaming when Sephiroth took Cloud’s fingers and simply shoved them into himself. It was desperate, needy and out of character, but absolute perfection nonetheless. His surprised moan was muffled around the cock, leaving only Sephiroth’s unsophisticated groan to ring out freely.

It was all a bit too much, and he had to ease himself off of the exquisitely pulsating, twitching length to collect himself. He rested his forehead heavily against that chiseled stomach, taking Sephiroth in hand, stroking him against his face, against his lips, not really wanting to let go.

Sephiroth’s insides were fluttering palpably around his fingers, and he tried moving them, eager to oblige. Every movement produced absolutely obscene wet noises, and he felt the warm, unknown, viscous liquid pour down over his hand and down his wrist. He didn’t know what to think of it, not that he had to think. Especially not when Sephiroth’s voice came to him low, commanding and hoarse. 

“More.”

It hit Cloud like a punch, and every thought other than pleasuring Sephiroth left him. He felt himself fumble with a third finger, but Sephiroth didn’t seem to mind. Even now, it was hard not to imagine that this was how things would be like from here on out; acting like lovers. 

“Do you wanna come?” Cloud mumbled dazed into the patch of silver hair, then placed wet, glistening kisses wherever he could reach.

“Not yet,” Sephiroth grunted. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Granted, Cloud wasn’t the most skilled lover he’d ever had, but he was present. He had the annoying gift to make every moment seem sweeter than the previous.

Perhaps it wasn’t his steadily icreasing lust, but rather the desire to draw the act out that made him overflow so abundantly. Even his fingertips were starting to leak from those glands underneath his fingernails he’d inherited from his mother. He’d been ashamed of them, and he still usually hid that particular part of his body, but Cloud seemed so lost he doubted he’d notice.

There were times Cloud’s movements slowed to the point of him having fallen asleep against his hip, but either he woke up again or he’d really just been that pleasure-dazed. It was just as adorable as impressive that his beloved little puppet hadn’t passed out several times over. Besides, the thought of his puppet falling asleep on his cock almost sent him over the edge. 

Though it arrived sooner than he wished, the point where he was sure Cloud had nodded off came. He stirred with a jerk and a sharp breath. 

“Puppet, I’d like to come now.”

He slipped himself out of Cloud’s lovely mouth, took himself in one hand and let his other help Cloud’s finger to pump slowly inside him. It was still too cautious for his taste, but for that night they were perfect.

Stroking himself, he savoured the last moments before release by letting his tip spread out the saliva and pre-come on Cloud’s dazed, faintly smiling face. Cloud could barely keep his eyes open, but he didn’t seem bothered by it.

The release wasn’t violent or explosive. It was more like a warm, steady gust of wind that carried him over the plains of Cloud’s face as he painted it in thick, white lashes, all while pumping Cloud’s fingers inside himself in a steady rhythm. He finished, resting his cock on Cloud’s lips. With eyes still closed, Cloud took the tip in and sucked on it, reverently milking him for the last drops.

“Well done, pet. You did so very well,” he mumbled and bundled the blond into his arms to move him to lie in the bed. He laid himself flush against the small frame and attentively started licking his own release away from that gorgeously disheveled face. It didn’t look innocent any longer, but he found that he liked it just the same now, granted in a slightly different way.

“You happy?” Cloud mumbled, stretching himself contentedly against Sephiroth.

“Happy? I’m not so sure, puppet. It’s not a measurement of wellbeing often used here.” Cloud’s face turned to a sleepy frown, but he licked and kissed it right away.

“Well, I am. Thank you, Sephiroth.” Cloud slurred and felt the muscles of his face pull into a dorky grin.

“Ssh, puppet, sleep now.”

“Mmm… gag?” Cloud managed while flopping his arm on the mattress, trying to point to the bedside drawer. He wished he could make their bodies melt into one another. Even pressed up against each other like this, it didn’t seem to be close enough. Not even nearly.

“Sleep.”

Though Sephiroth had had a long day, and he’d felt so tired earlier, he found it hard to fall asleep. He rested his eyes on the rounded curve of Cloud’s nose, and those golden strands he loved to pet and tug so much. He listened to Cloud’s even breaths and smiled at the long eyelashes fluttering softly in his sleep.

Cloud was ready to be sent home, but he found himself unprepared to let him go. He found that just as disturbing as it was bittersweet.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekend time is smut time. Here, have some smut.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Zack. (Not much smut in this one, but there is 110% smut coming up).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has had their first blessed touches by my lovely beta reader, [Cate Sith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CateSith).

As soon as Cloud came to awareness he had a bad feeling. His mouth was painful, painfully dry, to be more exact, and something about his sensations was off. He pulled air in and reflexively tried to swallow, but his mouth strained against the gag. His next instinct was to protest, to swear, but only awful, garbled, cracking noises were produced.

“Puppet,” Sephiroth purred, gently wiping sleep dust from the corner of Cloud’s eyes.

“Did you sleep well? Are you hungry?” he continued while tracing his hands to the back of the straps around Cloud’s hands to remove the gag. 

Cloud’s face knit into a deep frown, eyes squeezing shut, and he closed his mouth as soon as he could. He bit down on his tongue to try to make him salivate so that his mouth could remoisturise faster. He wanted nothing but to hide his face in his hands, but again, he found his body unable to comply.

“You did it again, didn’t you?” Cloud’s voice sounded thin and dry.

“Hmm? Did what?” 

Cloud _hated_ how Sephiroth took to pretending that he didn’t know what the question was about. It was cheap and dirty, and it didn’t seem dignified.

“You fucking dosed me again.” He wanted so desperately to be angry, but instead the familiar misery of sadness welled up in his chest. He guessed Sephiroth pretended not to notice that either, because Sephiroth was affectionately _cuddling_ him as usual. 

It was so wrong. Everything was wrong. It had been wrong from the start, but last night had been a little less wrong. It wasn’t that he’d expected things to change overnight, but somehow this seemed to erase it altogether. And it _had_ happened. Last night he had been able to move, and they’d shared something meaningful, hadn’t they?

“Stop,” Cloud said in a dry sob. 

“Why puppet? You’re already so beautifully hard for me.” Sephiroth’s soft, warm kisses wandered down Cloud’s body.

“Please stop,” Cloud pleaded again, but when he felt Sephiroth’s mouth close around him he knew it was a lost cause. For whatever reason, this was what Sephiroth wanted. Clearly, it was going to happen. 

Tears collected behind Cloud’s eyelids with a force as steady as the tide. They stung terribly, too bitter and too salty. Somewhere distant in his mind, he felt relief, because at least he wasn’t going to be sent back to active duty that day. He'd assumed that would be the only reason to have his mobility returned.

As much as he wanted to move, he wasn’t ready to leave Sephiroth yet. He felt as if that sliver of relief was being sucked right into to the foreground by Sephiroth’s lips until it took over. In the end, Cloud just let it.

“That’s it puppet, good puppet.” 

… 

The day continued much like his other days at Sephiroth. The breakfast was nothing short of ludicrous. The table set to the point of things falling off it, and Sephiroth patiently fed him with so many exotic meats and fruits he lost count. He was sure he’d been famished and parched, which was a testament to his ‘punishment’, but what happened since Sephiroth cleaned him up yesterday grew increasingly fuzzy. 

Had he really been able to move? Had he really been allowed to touch like that? The more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed. That didn’t impact the sense of loss though. The loss felt so very, very real. Sephiroth seemed to be in good spirits, ignoring whatever effects the lingering discomfort had on Cloud’s behaviour.

Cloud slept through the rest of his day on the daybed. When Sephiroth returned from his outside work, he was collected and put to comfortably lay on Sephiroth’s lap on the sofa in front of the TV. Still, the anxiety felt like barbed wires in Cloud’s chest.

“Sephiroth?” Cloud rolled the name hesitantly on his tongue.

“Hmm?” Sephiroth’s hands raked through the golden spikes in his lap.

“When am I being sent back to normal duty?”

Sephiroth stilled, only for a fraction of a moment, but Cloud felt it clearly.

“Soon, puppet.” Sephiroth’s tone was dismissive, but Cloud felt reluctant to let it go.

“ _When_?”

Instead of the answer he was looking for, Cloud felt Sephiroth’s hand stray to his mouth. He knew what was going to happen, but he still couldn’t stop himself from trying to protest. As soon as his lips parted, Sephiroth’s fingers were there, taking advantage, taking entry.

They started stroking the inside of his mouth as absent-mindedly as they’d been stroking his hair, as if there was no difference between his insides and outsides. As if there was no difference to the level of privacy or intimacy between the two. To Cloud’s dismay, his body acknowledged the trespassing caresses as something pleasurable, quickly rousing him to hardness, reducing him to his lower brain functions.

“Good puppet,” Sephiroth murmured from above him.

Sephiroth’s hands drifted with the same rattling lack of intent to other private places on his body, until he found himself suspended in lust and pleasure. It made him feel like a broken appliance, except the thing that was broken was his ability to stay himself. Besides, according to Sephiroth’s praise, he was working _perfectly_.

… 

The next day passed as any other, and as disturbing as it was, a sense of normalcy begun to settle into Cloud. It almost seemed as if Sephiroth was making a conscious effort to go easy on him. There were no squabbles, no depaved, unreasonable things asked of him. The only thing missing was his ability to move, but Sephiroth compensated for that meticulously, and Cloud found himself surprisingly at ease with it all. He put his focus into getting to know Sephiroth better, making small talk and coaxing them both into laughter.

Only the day after before Sephiroth left for work, he was told that Zack would visit. Zack was to arrive during the day, ahead of Sephiroth. He had keys of his own.

It put Cloud on edge without his knowing why, and his wait on the daybed turned to its familiar torture. It seemed an eternity before he could hear the distant beep of the electrical locks opening, the rustling of clothes and clatter of boots being taken off, and then soft footsteps approaching.

“Hey, Spike!” Zack’s cheerful demeanour hit Cloud like punch in the guts, and he didn’t know what to say, what to think or what to do. 

But Zack did. Zack’s steps sped up until he could pluck Cloud from the daybed swinging him around in a tight embrace that flung a good portion of Cloud’s anxiousness out the window.

“Put me down for fuck’s sake,” Cloud mumbled hesitantly, unsure if he really wanted to be put down, or if he said it on principle. Familiar heat rose up his cheeks at being seen in that damnable silk robe Sephiroth favoured for him. The one which made him think of courtesans. 

“I’ve missed you!” Zack cracked with such easy warmth it made Cloud feel guilty for not feeling the same.

“How’ve you been?” Zack hooked his arm under Cloud’s knees, lifting Cloud to his chest before he flopped them both back on the daybed. If he had been any less carefree, Cloud would have expired from the embarrassment. With Sephiroth he’d gotten used to being manipulated around, but Zack doing it… it was almost unbearable.

“Put me down properly, come on, Zack!” Cloud all but gritted his teeth.

“Fine!” Zack ruffled Cloud’s hair, bearing no mind to Cloud’s discomfort and put him down to sit properly on the sofa. Cloud’s robe slipped and fell open, and Zack immediately fumbled to pull it closed. Cloud felt heat rising in a palpable wave from the pits of his stomach, and Zack looked up at him, his easy smile replaced by something much more volatile.

“Can I kiss you?” 

“No!” Cloud wished he could slap Zack.

“On the cheek then?” Zack hit the exact spot between being serious and making a joke. 

“No!” This time Cloud couldn’t stop his own laughter, and Zack joined in, his smile returning to the familiar warmth Cloud preferred.

“Pleeeease?” It was pure banter now. 

“Fine!” Cloud felt himself melting, and the next thing he knew Zack’s arms were around him again, warm, steady and compassionate. 

“How’re you doing?” Zack asked, sincere but conversational, sitting back with one leg folded under him to face Cloud, compensating for Cloud’s immobility. 

“Oh, you know, I’m here, alive. You?” Cloud sighed, doing his best to ignore the shame he felt for his current situation.

“Yeah… I’m good! Excited for tonight.” 

“Uhm, okay. What is tonight about? Sephiroth neglected to tell me.” Cloud frowned, not bothering to hide his nerves.

“It’s a playdate! Seph usually asks me to come over before his lab appointments. To ‘blow off some steam’.”

“Oh? Labs?”

“Eh, yeah.” Zack ruffled the hair at the back of his neck. “Maybe you should ask him? I probably shouldn’t…” 

“Okay.”

“Anyway, I’m gonna go take a bath and then I’ll start on dinner.”

“Okay.” Cloud could feel his confusion and disappointment leak into his eyes and into his voice. It made Zack look up at him, with a sly, flirtatious smile.

“Do you wanna join me in the bath?”

“No!” Cloud huffed and chuckled quietly. It was slightly nicer to be asked than to just be left alone without a choice.

“You sure, Spike?” 

An idea struck Cloud. 

“Actually, I’m a bit cold, and I’m still tired. Could you put me to bed for a bit?”

“Sure thing.”

Zack smiled and picked up Cloud into his arms as if it were second nature. Cloud felt grateful knowing Zack was trying his best to make the embarrassment easier to bear. At the same time, he was racking his brains for a plausible lie. Come on, he urged himself, think think think.

Zack tucked Cloud into bed silently, politely pretending not to notice when Cloud’s robe fell open this time. 

“Can you check the top drawer for an eye-mask? Sephiroth lets me use it for daytime naps.” That seemed reasonable, right? Seph did let his ‘puppets’ ask for things they liked.

“Sure,” Zack mumbled and pulled the drawer open, his thoughts elsewhere. “There’s nothing here.”

“Nothing?” Cloud forced himself not to hold his breath.

“No, just an old photograph.”

Cloud swallowed, already feeling relief and excitement flooding his systems.

“The one of Sephiroth as a child and Professor Gast? Have you seen it?”

“No,” Zack said in wonder. “He showed it to you?”

“Yeah! Isn’t it adorable?”

Zack picked the photograph up and turned it in his hands. “He was cute alright, but he doesn’t look particularly happy. Who’s Professor Gast?”

 _Breathe, breathe! No, calmly!_ “I don’t know, he didn’t tell me.” Cloud tried to sound nonchalant, as if it wasn’t important. As if!

Zack hummed and put the photograph back in its drawer.

“Okay, Spike, I'll let you have that nap. Wanna join me for dinner prep later?” 

“Yeah,” Cloud closed his eyes to hide his turmoil, and Zack left him for the bath. 

Just like that, he knew that everything he remembered from last night had been real.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed update! I've been busying myself with "real life" and other writing! 
> 
> If you're a fan of Zack and Angeal there is another instalment to the Wish Fulfilment-story which has now been turned into a kink heavy, safe sane and consensual pwp-series. The next part of that has also turned into a collaboration. ;____________; I'm so happy. You can find the most recent chapter Yes, No Maybe [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757489/chapters/67944853). It even accidentally got illustrated. O_O
> 
> Yeah, I might have had to like, write something a bit more sane after being so immersed in this for so long. Just to prove to myself that I still could. IT'S OK IT'S OK, I'M OK. Turns out I haven't lost my mind yet! ;) 
> 
> <3


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations are made for Seph's and Zack's playnight. This chapter is short and smut free, with an itty bitty amount of plot. xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has not been betaed.

Dinner was as little fuss as possible, considering Cloud having to be fed. He kept quiet to observe Sephiroth and Zack’s interactions. Though it disturbed him, Zack’s likeness to an increasingly excited puppy was palpable. Zack’s anticipation dispersed into the air, tying Cloud’s stomach into knots, coaxing Sephiroth’s expression into a small, guarded smile, but a smile none the less.

When dinner was finished, Zack was left to pile the dishes and Sephiroth whisked Cloud away for their evening cleaning routine. Cloud tried to distract himself from the degradation of being given the enema by asking about the labs that Zack had mentioned.

He only got Sephiroth’s narrowing eyes and a thankfullly unused washcloth sloppily stuffed in his mouth as a response. It didn’t take much effort for him to spit it out. When he managed, their eyes locked for a beat or two, measuring each other up. Cloud was the first to burst into a flustered laughter and Sephiroth blew air out of his nose, but his eyes twinkled brighter than usual.

“What’s a play date?” Cloud pressed, trying to get a grip on what to prepare for.

“I play with Zack.” Sephiroth said, not satisfying Cloud’s question at all.

“And where will I be during all this?” Cloud hated that he had to ask. Hated that Sephiroth was intentionally being vague about it.

“You’re invited, puppet.”

“By you or Zack?”

“Both.”

Cloud felt his thoughts washed away along with the water that was being pushed into his rectum. Sephiroth’s hands moving over his back and sides still felt too personal considering what was going on. He couldn’t decide if he hated this part, or the next one more. The one when he was put on the toilet, and Sephiroth draped himself in his lap.

The bath afterwards he didn’t mind. In fact, he enjoyed that part quite a lot. Getting clean, getting taken care of, getting warm. But Sephiroth made the process shorter than usual. Instead of getting wrapped in his silk robe, Sephiroth carefully patted Cloud dry, produced a hairdryer and started drying his hair.

Cloud didn’t have it in him to ask more questions, but he was on edge, not knowing what was going to happen. The hot air streaming from the hair dryer seemed too warm and he felt like it made his brain overheat. Just when he’d had enough of it, Sephiroth turned it off.

He was easily balanced on the sink while Sephiroth reached for something new from the cabinet. He shook a cylinder-shaped cannister over his hand and started patting a thin layer of white powder up Cloud feet, legs and onwards, upwards.

“What’s that?” Cloud asked, trying to keep his anxiety out of his voice, and failing.

“Talcum, pet. Nothing to worry about.”

It wasn’t the powder per se that worried Cloud of course. Sephiroth seemed to be in one of those annoying and tight-lipped moods. He could tell how Sephiroth was revelling in his nervousness.

When he was all powdered down, Sephiroth produced something black and matte, folding it deftly in his hands. He kneeled before the sink to start threading the tubular pieces of rubber onto Cloud’s feet.

“Really?” Cloud whispered in quiet exasperation.

Sephiroth didn’t bother with a reply, but he grazed his teeth against the flesh below one of Cloud’s knees, and then a loose bite higher up, just at the lowest fleshy part of the inside of Cloud’s thigh. Cloud huffed, the treat being clear, and turned his face away.

“Tsk Puppet. It’s me _and_ Zack. I thought you would be happy.”

Cloud cringed inwardly at the mocking tone Sephiroth used. It was there in the open but it bothered him not knowing exactly why he was being made fun of.

“I don’t like Zack the way he is with you, and I don’t like to imagine what you did to make him that way.”

He was still looking away, not wanting to pay more attention to the way the rubber hugged his limbs to a point of discomfort before it was evened out to a much too close fit around his limbs.

“Oh Please. The Puppy is a hand me down. He came to me in need of rehabilitation of sorts, certainly, but I didn’t conduct his original training.”

“What? Then who did?”

“Angeal.”

Cloud kept quiet while the wheels in his brain turned slowly before the information clicked into place. 

“His old mentor? The one that died?” His voice shook and left in small huffs as Sephiroth lifted him up and draped him over his own chest to ease the one-piece up over his hips.

“Yes. He didn’t just die, you know. Zack was assigned with his termination.”

It struck Cloud how oddly normal to have his body manipulated. There was no mental struggle against it now. Against the lack of choice, the ridiculous outfit, the situation yes, but not the physics of it. A part of him felt oddly safe in Sephiroth’s care. It must have changed so slowly he hadn’t noticed it. That bothered his almost as much as what Sephiroth had just told him about Zack.

“What?!” Cloud’s question came out a dry shriek full of disbelief.

Sephiroth wore a crooked smile as he carefully began working Cloud’s arms into the sleeves. He met Cloud’s disbelief with satisfaction that Cloud couldn’t understand.

“Is that really true?” Cloud felt his pulse racing away, and suddenly he couldn’t wait to lay his eyes on Zack again.

“You can ask him yourself, later.” 

Cloud glared at Sephiroth as his flaccid organ was tucked safely inside the metal zipper that was pulled up over it. No underwear and no extra strip covered the zipper on the inside, and a frown flitted across his face as he felt the little sharp bits of metal press into his sensitive skin. Sephiroth’s smile grew wider. Then his feet were covered in matching rubber pieces, and so were his hands. He was literally covered from neck to to in the horrible outfit that already felt incredibly suffocating with its high neck.

“Alright pet. I’ll come back for you in a minute.” Sephiroth said, giving Cloud’s firmly wrapped thighs a little pet over the rubber before he walked out.

Cloud did his best to contextualise what he’d just learned, and what it meant for Zack. He thought back at the first time of their friendship. Zack had been a Second Class SOLDIER, happy and carefree. Then something had happened, and he’d been sent away to Costa del Sol. He’d been gone for months. They hadn’t known each other that well at the time, so Cloud hadn’t asked about it. He knew Zack’s mentor had passed away, and just put it down to personal leave. Of course Zack had seemed a bit frayed at the edges when he returned, but not in proportion to what Sephiroth had just told him.

When Sephiroth walked in again, he was wearing his custom SOLDIER uniform, spare the pauldrons. If Cloud could have moved, he was certain he’d stumble backwards. Perhaps spending so much time with Sephiroth in such a casual and intimate setting had made him forget who he was with. But now it hit him full force, and it seemed entirely surreal. So much that his eyes were tearing up.

How many times had he studied the photographs of Sephiroth in that very outfit? There had been the one time he was sure he’d seen a hint of a nipple, and he’d stared at the spot in the magazine close enough to see the little dots of ink that made up the print. The sight in front of him and the memory both made him blush, and he felt a wave of heat trapped inside the rubber that squeezed around his flesh.

“Let’s join the Puppy,” Sephiroth murmured almost cheerfully as he scooped Cloud up in his arms and carried him towards the playroom.

They passed rooms Cloud hadn’t entered, and doors he’d never even seen. It made him go back on his thoughts of having gotten to know the man who was carrying him. Then again, when did Sephiroth use all those rooms? Hadn’t they spent most of the time together whenever he’d been home? Truly, he realised, he had no idea.

The playroom was large and intimidating. It was framed by a high ceiling with intricate, exquisite white patterns in plaster. Looking down, Cloud found a floor wooden, laid in mesmerising geometric patterns that invited him to get lost in them. There were simple wooden display cabinets here and there in the room, taking turns for space with odd equipment that Cloud had difficulties understanding. 

Except for some things that were obvious. The cross, ready to tie people up on. Chairs that weren’t _really_ for sitting on. Some of the equipment looked more like torture devices, and perhaps they were. Perhaps it was really that simple. Gods, what was Zack doing in here?

Sitting naked, kneeling on the floor in front of a black leather sofa that seemed one of the centre-pieces of the room, apparently. He sat straight backed with a half-dazed, sombre expression on his face, wearing a very noticeable black leather collar around his neck. It even had a leash attached. He was holding the end of it folded neatly in his hands.

It made a surprisingly pretty picture, and Cloud blushed, noticing Zack was already hard. He felt incredibly embarrassed, for both of them. Though he was still was uncomfortable admitting it, given the setting they were in, he found Zack gorgeous. The serene spirit he seemed to be in added an unusual flavour to it all. 

Zack kept his eyes straight forward, not even sparing Cloud a glance. It wasn’t what Cloud had expected. If he’d dig deep, he might have found himself a little bit disappointed, given how flirtatious Zack had been with him earlier in the day.

Cloud was lowered down on the sofa and adjusted to sit comfortably. Sephiroth got to the floor himself, in order to do the posing comfortably. Images of his Silver General taking place between his knees and sliding that long zipper down came as unbidden as they were unstoppable.

He was posed to sit with an open body-language, his arms resting on the back rest of the sofa, and his legs slightly parted and feet planted firmly on the ground. Before Sephiroth got up, he ran a fingernail down the zipper, making it increasingly known against Cloud’s skin, especially the lower it went. 

It was strange seeing Sephiroth’s silver strands against the close fitting black garment he was wearing, without feeling the tickles of the strands. It was as if the garment muted his senses, but his awareness of it seemed to compensate for it in a strange way.

Sephiroth gave him a knowing look, and a perfectly poised smile before he went to stand in front of Zack.

“Are you ready, Zack?”

Zack leaned forward with a soft sigh, resting his head on Sephiroth’s thigh. “Yes,” he said, sounding thankful.

“And what would you like today?” Sephiroth tenderly raked a gloved hand through black spikes, welcoming Zack’s intimate gesture.

“I want you to hit me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it has taken so long to update. "Real life" has been heavy, and also I've had my head in the clouds of Zack and Angeal. 
> 
> If you like that pairing and feel your brain a bit too twisted from all of this utter debauchery there is the Wish Fulfilment series with basically Zangeal sane kink-heavy pwp. The latest instalment of it was even co-written with some of my fav smut-ppl! I am incredibly fond of it. Please have a look at it if it would please you.
> 
> I will do my best to update this. As I have mentioned in comments the rest is sketched out and I am not one to leave projects unfinished, so rest assured.
> 
> Thank you for all the incredibly kind feedback you keep writing to me. It really makes me incredibly happy. This little ao3 corner of my life is such a bright place no matter how the rest of it may be. <3


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains spanking with implements and light blood play. It is consensual, as much as it can be with these broken fictional characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has not been betaed.

Cloud felt his jaw drop. Had he really heard that right? What in the name of Gaia was Zack asking for? He wanted to ask, to protest, but at the moment Zack and Sephiroth seemed too engrossed in each other. There was something fragile in the air that he didn’t want to break. His gut feeling told him it would hurt Zack.

“Alright my beautiful Puppy. With an implement?” Sephiroth asked in a tone completely void of judgement. What Cloud found even stranger was that Sephiroth wasn’t showing any particular glee at the idea. At least not yet. He looked as sombre as Zack as he calmly walked over to a stand with things Cloud presumed were used for hitting people.

Zack didn’t give a verbal reply. He lowered his eyes, his head following with a barely visible nod, colour rising to the surface of his cheeks.

Sephiroth hummed pensively and let his fingers brush against the different materials at hand. Wooden canes, sticks, sports bats and practice swords. He quickly brushed over the prop like umbrellas, one was real and one masquerading. It was custom made for one of his puppets who wanted the visual, but with a heavier impact. But it was not for today, he thought.

No, today Zack had a particularly heavy air about him, and he knew better than going easy on him. It’d just result in either a failed session or Zack blowing off steam in a less constructive way. He stifled a little sigh at the knowledge.

However much he appreciated what he and Zack had, he knew there was a chance that they had it only because he was willing to do this in Angeal’s place. Perhaps it had nothing to do with him as a person. They rarely spent time together which didn’t have to do with bed or Zack’s needs.

His fingers ran over a metal piece. At first glance, it might have looked like something from a construction site. A thin metal bar crafted almost like a grotesquely oversized ruler. The edges were still sharp enough to threaten a cut. At second glance, one would find the edges on one end lightly bevelled, and the shape adjusted for a secure grip.

“Any objections to metal?”

Zack didn’t move a muscle, and he certainly wasn’t saying no. Cloud kept a close watch in case Zack would do a little head shake again, but he couldn’t see any.

Cloud’s insides were hardening into tense knots that made it difficult to breathe. He felt the dreadful absence of a flinch when the metal piece rang as it was lifted out of its stand. It wasn’t a refined sound, not like unsheathing a sword. No, this was inelegant and raw. The sound grated against his ears.

“Why don’t you walk around a little first, Puppy? You’ve been sitting for a long time. Besides, I’m sure the puppet will take an interest.” He bent down and held his hand out in a way that reminded Cloud of the way one would ask a dog to let go of a toy.

Zack was infinitely more lovely than any dog could ever be as he gave the end of the leash to Sephiroth. Cloud felt like he was witnessing a ritual, a private one at that. He noticed how Sephiroth let his fingers brush against Zack’s as he took the leash, drawing out their contact.

“Yes sir,” Zack murmured, sounding compliant in a way that Cloud had never heard before. Then Zack gracefully shifted his weight not to rise, but to start crawling on all fours. His movements bore no hint of stiffness. In them, Cloud couldn’t read if Zack had been sitting there for a minute or an hour. The way Zack crawled wasn’t clumsy, neither was it showy. It was poised, pleasing and even; movements that showed off the gorgeousness of his strong body perfectly.

In the middle of his confused staring, Cloud felt a pang of jealousy at that. Zack took to crawling in a large circle around the sofa, and Sephiroth walked right beside him, keeping the leash taut and letting the metal bar tap against Zack’s backside now and then.

Little huffs of air escaped Zack, and he had a look on his face as if he had to focus on moving. It didn’t make sense until he’d passed Cloud, and Cloud could see the plug nested in Zack’s behind. It was bejewelled in a large, yellow stone that caught the soft lighting and complimented Zack’s honeyed skin frightfully well. Hadn’t it been more on-brand with a tail? If it hadn’t been so bizarre, he’d laughed at the idea.

Gods, this was too far removed from his tastes. And why was he here? He felt like the third wheel, very literally. When Zack disappeared out of sight, only the sound of Sephiroth’s boots, Zack’s limbs dragging on the floor, Zack's increasingly laboured breathing and the dull thuds of metal against skin was heard. He couldn’t have felt more out of place.

By the time Zack’s was on his second lap around the sofa, the sounds he made seem to trickle into Cloud’s ears, leaving a wet and sticky substance behind. He bitterly recognised them as sounds of arousal, having heard them in excessive amounts from himself.

“Alright, that’s enough, Puppy. Stay.” Sephiroth murmured, a little bit of enthusiasm now luring in his deep, effortlessly flowing voice.

They came to a halt in front of Cloud, Zack adjusting his posture to evenly distribute his weight. There were no more exchanges before Sephiroth raised his piece of metal and brought it down over Zack’s buttocks with a merciless smack.

Zack lost his breath with the shock even though it must have been expected. Cloud could see how the tension in his arms faltered, how he wanted to dip closer to the floor, but the leash prevented him from doing so. Pain and dread flickered across Zack’s face, but he wouldn’t look Cloud’s way.

“Alright?” Sephiroth crouched down and ran his gloved hand through black spikes, along the curve of Zack’s back and down over his buttocks. Zack bit his lip to keep a level head, then gave a little nod.

Cloud found the way Sephiroth was checking in with Zack infuriating. It drew such a clear line between the way he was treated, and the way Zack was treated. Zack was allowed all of his agency, and he had barely any. How many times had he wondered if Sephiroth even realised how much of it he’d taken away? This confirmed it. He could feel his throat turned thick with that knowledge. He wondered again why he was there. Why was he made to witness this?

In front of him, the scene continued. Sephiroth quickly got into a rhythm of beating Zack, and Zack was reduced to more sticky moans and whimpers. Even though the metal was thin, it was clear Sephiroth was putting a lot of strength into wielding it, because Zack jolted forward with every strike. It caused him to struggle against the leash.

A part of Cloud wanted to look away, but the complex emotions playing on Zack’s face kept him entranced. The shock had gone first, replaced by something that looked like guilt. That took precedence for quite some time.

By the time Zack’s limbs were visibly shaking, sorrow had joined the blend of emotions of Zack’s expression. It seemed to have an edge of desperation Cloud couldn’t understand. He’d never seen Zack looking anything like that.

Normally Zack had such a light spirit, but now that he thought about it, it had changed since they first met. He’d put it down to Zack just getting used to SOLDIER First Class, but perhaps he’d been wrong. Perhaps there was more to it.

He hadn’t wanted to believe what Sephiroth had told him about Zack and Angeal, but even without asking Zack, Cloud could see the shoe fit. Zack had loved Angeal dearly.

In the beginning of their friendship, Zack went on and on and on about Angeal and his training. Zack’s whole world had seemed to rise and fall with Angeal’s opinion of him. Since Zack had returned from his Costa del Sol leave, he’d barely mentioned Angeal once. He’d assumed it had been grief, not guilt. It hurt to know that Zack hadn’t told him, and he had nothing to fend off the pain with.

Tears were rolling down Zack’s face, accompanied by sobs that looked to be entirely disjoined from the blows that were digging into his flesh. Their timing and the flavour was off. This was clearly about something else. Cloud thought they were the saddest sounds he’d ever heard, and they tore sorely into his chest.

The beating didn’t seem to be the cause of Zack’s dipping head either. In a way, it seemed as if neither Cloud nor Sephiroth was even in the room anymore. Zack seemed so caught up in his own emotions.

Maybe Sephiroth came to the same conclusion, because he crouched down, putting the metal carefully on the floor. He pulled on the leash, forcing Zack to raise his head again. Sephiroth's countenance had turned into something all-demanding, and it sent shivers through Cloud even though it wasn’t directed at him.

“Stay upright Puppy.”

Sephiroth’s hand briefly went over each of Zack’s arms, carefully pressing new strength into them. They raked through the black spikes that now seemed to have lost their lustre. The last place they touched were over Zack’s backside. They cupped each half of it, fingers digging into the crease where Zack’s backside met his legs. It caused Zack to hiss, but curiously the hiss melted into a damp moan, and then it even took on the tone of a sweltering whimper.

“All you have to do is stay,” Sephiroth uttered with a gentleness that Cloud had seldom heard. Not that it made the words any less weighty.

Zack gave agreement in the shape of a mournful whine, and Sephiroth stood back up. He seemed taller than before, picking up the chore of driving hard metal against tender flesh.

Another couple of lashes passed before Cloud noticed the sound changing from dry swats to wet sloshes. The next moment Zack gave a guttural grunt and fell forward on his forearms.

“Enough, Puppy?” Sephiroth bent down with a smile playing in the corners of his lips. His eyes landed smug on Cloud instead of Zack.

He let his fingers skirt the edges of the split before letting them fall into the wound to let the dry leather of his gloves taste fresh blood once again. The shock on Cloud’s face turned to terror as his fingers pulled the split wider, causing Zack to wail brokenly.

“Please stop. Please!” Cloud whispered urgently, his eyes flicking wildly between Zack and Sephiroth. He could practically feel the dryness of Zack’s mouth from Zack’s wheezing breaths. He felt as if the ground was pulled from under him when Zack grunted with effort, only to shake his head. He must have been mistaken. How could Zack ask for this?! Cloud felt his heart break for his dear friend.

“As you wish my dear Puppy.” Sephiroth cooed, unclipping Zack’s leash, folding it neatly and tossing it onto the sofa to land next to Cloud.

Cloud found nothing new in Sephiroth’s face now. Just the nefarious glee that he sometimes despised, and sometimes gave into. This time he felt his loathing as a wave of nausea, but Sephiroth took it in stride. He even contorted his face into a wider smile and winked, perfectly imitating Zack in his most carefree mood. Then he brought the metal down hard enough to cause droplets of blood to spray in Cloud’s direction.

Zack didn’t wail again. He let his head sink entirely to the floor, and after half a dozen blows, he turned his face to look at Cloud for the first time that evening. The remorse, shame and resignation Cloud saw there invaded him, allowing his feelings to catch up enough for tears spill from his eyes too.

To see his dearest friend in such excruciating pain was an unfamiliar kind of misery, and he found there and then he’d do anything to spare Zack. Anything would be better than seeing Zack’s mouth twist into a fleeting, reassuring smile, only to next fall open, letting pooled saliva spill onto the floor.

Eventually, Zack stopped reacting altogether to the hits he was taking. His body just swayed softly under the relentless showering of metal. His eyes were falling shut. The sticky puddle of tears, saliva and snot formed under him had smeared his face. His breaths had curiously evened out.

“Good Puppy. You’ve been such a good Pup.” Sephiroth murmured, tossing the metal bar to the floor, indifferent to any damage it would cause. The clatter stirred both Zack and Cloud from their inertia.

Sephiroth gracefully sank down, sitting cross-legged to easily scramble Zack’s head into his lap. He gently laid Zack on his side to give his Puppy a clear line of sight to the puppet, and the puppet a clear view of Zack’s arousal.

“Do you feel good, Puppy? Feel better?” Sephiroth said in an intimate almost-whisper, letting his fingertips drag a feather-light line from his side to his backside, gripping the base of the plug there. It tore a reluctant, exhausted, crackling moan out of Zack. His pretty, blood-stained erection jumped wildly against his stomach.

“Angeal was lucky to have such a wanton little Puppy to play with.”

Cloud grimaced, taking the words as cruelty. Zack, however, shook with weak but unmistakably sentimental laughter.

The light and sudden sound dissipated a big portion of the despair that had settled like miasma in the room. Cloud found himself more confused than ever at the lingering ease and softness of Zack’s features even after the sound of his laughter was gone.

Sephiroth slowly twisted the plug, carefully easing Zack’s ruined form into pleasure, all while patiently wiping stickiness off of Zack’s face.

“Have you earned a reward, Puppy?”

Zack replied with a widening smile, though when those deep cerulean eyes landed on Cloud, Cloud found them brokenly ravenous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some filthy smut for the weekend. <3
> 
> You like? Please let me know. You hate? You can let me know too. I'm always curious about how people read my texts.


	27. Illustration interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is ff7 24th Bday! Thank you SE and everyone in my most beloved smut community for all the joy, kink, support, fun and shamelessness! You are all life-quality enhancing! 
> 
> This is just an illustration for chapt 9/10. Let me know if it ruins your mental image of the fic and I’ll move or take down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been writing for zack/angeal pairing lately! There is a monster of a medkink fic posted recently (Soldier Trials). The prequel with zack/angeal to silver and gold is started. Zack will break ever so slowly and it will be glorious! Ofc this is not abandoned, just need to switch things up a bit! It is rare that I don't finish what I start so rest assured!
> 
> Me and some fellow smut writers/readers are hanging out on discord. Join us if you feel a burning need to talk about ff7 smut! Link in my profile.
> 
> Meanwhile, I have been writing so much my hands hurt. Gonna give them a bit of a rest! 🌸💕💖💕🌸


End file.
